Have you seen or, more importantly, heard the new Old Navy commercials for the holiday season? The ads use the tagline "Gifts that warm/pamper/play" and all three feature a woman singing a song that I really couldn't understand. In fact, I wasn't even sure if she was singing in English for most of the song. After a few thousand times of seeing the commercial and not knowing what was being said other than "all it takes is a little faith...", I finally decided to look online for information on the song used in the campaign. First, I was able to find videos of the ads. Here are two of them.
After finding the videos, I found the lyrics and was shocked to discover that she was singing in English. I couldn't believe it. Watching the ads, I could hear a couple of lines in English, but the rest just simply didn't make any sense. Finally, it all made sense when I learned who the artist performing the song was*:
*Ok, fine. It's not really the Swedish Chef. The song is called "Stars" and it's performed by The Weepies.
December 18, 2007
Savors the Sun While She Shines
December 13, 2007
Everyday Should Be Caturday
Today I am once again drawing not from my imagination, but from internet phenomena. This time, it's a website mashup. College football blog, Every Day Should Be Saturday meet lolcats and the meme of putting poorly spelled, grammatically incorrect captions on pictures.
Division I-AA Appalachian State upsets #5 Michigan, setting the stage for one of the strangest college football seasons in memory.
Duke breaks 22 game losing streak.
Heavily favored USC loses at home to Stanford, disrupting the race for the national title.
December 12, 2007
The Fount of Useless Information Overanalyzes Lyrics
"Baby, It's Cold Outside" is an Academy Award winning song written by Frank Loesser and often played around Christmas time. I think the time has come to examine these lyrics a little closer and see just what we can find.
For those of you not familiar with the song, it is a duet sung by a woman who wants to go home and a man, who is trying to convince her that she should stay.
As the song progresses, she continues to say that she should leave:
"I really can't stay
I've got to go away
This evening has been
So very nice
My mother will start to worry
My father will be pacing the floor
So really I'd better scurry"
With each of her lines, the man answers imploring that she stay. But look at the tactics he uses. A few of his better lines:
"Baby it's cold outside"
"Beautiful, please don't hurry"
"No cabs to be had out there"
"What's the sense in hurting my pride
Baby don't hold out"
Sensing that she was not amenable to fear of weather, flattery or inability to travel, he progresses to pity.
"How can you do this thing to me
Making my life long sorrow
If you caught pneumonia and died"
Finally, realizing that pity is not working, he shifts to using guilt to get his way.
But the real kicker is in these two lines (this time written with both parts).
"The neighbors might think - Baby, it's bad out there
Say, what's in this drink - No cabs to be had out there"
Umm...yeah. It's called Rohypnol or, in popular parlance, a Roofie.
That's right, it may be played at Christmas time, but it's not so much a Christmas song as it is a date rape song. And with that I will leave you to never hear the song the same way again.
December 10, 2007
Well Played, Amazon.com
I was completely out of ideas for Christmas presents for Melissa this year, so I started browsing Amazon in the hopes that something would give me an idea. It turns out that Amazon has created all sorts of gift guides for different personalities and relationships. Everything from "The Dude" which, not surprisingly, suggests a copy of The Big Lebowski to "Grandpa" who based on these suggestions spends all his time shaving, checking his tire pressure and wondering what time it is.
While I knew that it was highly unlikely that I would find something appropriate in the "Girlfriend/Wife" section, I decided to go ahead while hoping that something would at least point me in a new direction. While I was amused by some of the suggestions that would have made for an awfully awkward gift opening on Christmas morning if a man gave them to his wife in front of her entire family, the one that really caught my eye was this entire section. Yes, that's right, Amazon suggests that if you need help finding a gift for your girlfriend/wife, you should try giving her an elliptical trainer. I'm not sure if this was supposed to be a suggestion for what to give your wife if you already happen to have a girlfriend, but I can't come up with a way that it would be a good idea to give a woman a gift that says "You could really use to lose a few pounds. Let's see if using this thing will help out the size of your butt. It's really looking big recently." While I was trying to figure out how this could have ended up as a suggestion, it finally hit me. If any man actually followed that suggestion, he would not only have purchased a fairly expensive elliptical trainer, but after the gift had been given, he would also be scrambling for a new gift that was not only suitable, but also was nice (read: expensive) enough to express just how sorry he really is about that whole misunderstanding. All in all, I think it's a very clever plan by Amazon, but I have to wonder how many people would actually fall into that trap.
Fortunately for me, Melissa came along to put me out of my misery and just told me what to get her.
December 04, 2007
An Open Letter and Request for Moratorium
I have lived in several places in various parts of the country, and I have yet to live in a single place where people do not say "That's (place) weather for you. If you don't like it, just wait five minutes." Just stop, people. That's all weather for you. Weather changes. That's what is does. I humbly request on behalf of all mankind that no one ever use this phrase again.
Sincerely (and also kind of grumpily),
Craig
There, I've done my part, now you go and do something to make the world a better place.
November 15, 2007
A Weather Haiku, Complete with Onomatopoetic Expression of Disgust
November 12, 2007
Either a Useful Learning Tool or a Complete Misapplication of Chemistry and a Waste of Candy
For a lot longer than I should admit (several years), the idea of comparing enzyme kinetics to people eating candy from a community candy dish has been floating around in my head. It all started when I was in graduate school and I noticed that the Jolly Ranchers that had been brought in after Halloween seemed to be eaten in a certain order. I thought that it would be amusing to chart this over time (but was too lazy and not quite nerdy enough to do so). The more I thought about this the more I liked this idea and the more I realized that it works pretty well as a model for how enzymes work*.
The basic requirements for an enzyme catalyzed reaction are that you have:
Substrate: Basically this is your starting material. In our case, Jolly Ranchers.
Enzyme: This is a biological catalyst, which helps to convert the substrate to product while remaining unchanged. In this case, our enzymes are people**.
Product: This is the end material. In this case we'll call it the empty candy wrappers.
You start off with a high concentration of substrate (candy) and a steady concentration of enzymes (people). On occasion, an enzyme and and substrate will collide (i.e. someone walks past the candy dish) and if the substrate is appropriate, a reaction may occur (the person unwraps and eats the candy). As time goes on, different substrates (flavors) collide with the enzymes and some are found to bind and be metabolized better than others. By graphing the amount of substrate used over time (or in this example, the amount of candy still remaining over time) it is possible to look at the rate of consumption and determine which is the preferred substrate.
When I have paid attention to this in the past, what I have found looks something like this.
You can see that clearly Cherry is eaten the fastest, with Watermelon, Apple and Lemon right behind. Grape is typically not consumed at the same rate and the preferred substrates are used first. Why no one bothers to eat the last Lemon is beyond me. I guess everyone is trying to be polite, but enzymes aren't usually concerned with manners.
Another thing that can be learned is that if one were to repeat this experiment with the new "Original Flavors" of Jolly Ranchers which substitute Blue Raspberry for Lemon, the resulting curves would likely look like this.
This graph indicates that Blue Raspberry is not only not the preferred substance but goes essentially untouched by the enzymes.
Much like actual enzymes, it is possible to obtain mutants which may show increased or decreased preference for various substrates. A mutant*** which uses Blue Raspberry as the preferred substrate is highly desirable because...well, that means more of the others for the rest of us.
* A highly simplified model with huge flaws, it should be noted.
** Technically, our enzymes don't meet the requirements because they are changed when they become fat from all the candy, but surely you don't expect perfection from a silly model like this.
*** A mutant which prefers Blue Raspberry is pretty much a freak. Good luck finding one to eat all the nasty Jolly Ranchers while leaving all the good ones for you.
November 05, 2007
Remember, Remember
Today, as you know is November 5th. You may or may not remember that today is also Guy Fawkes Day. I really don't know how you can have a cooler holiday than one that remembers the thwarting of a plot by a guy who wanted to make sure things blow'd up real good, and celebrates it by blowing other things up real good.
Other things bouncing around in my head at the moment:
I'm tired of hearing Sally Field talk about how well Boniva fits into her busy schedule. You know, some of her girlfriends have to set aside time every week to take their osteoporosis medicine. What are you doing that you can't take the time to take one single pill a week? Is the pill the size of a football? Do you have problems swallowing? Seriously, if you are at that point in your life and not taking a half dozen pills a day, you're doing pretty good. One more a week doesn't seem like a big deal to me.
We went to the grocery store last night and as we left I wondered "Can we sue Meijer for getting a Gloria Estefan song stuck in my head?" I'm fairly sure the answer is no, but it should be yes.
Really little kids dressed up in costumes and going trick-or-treating are cute. Obnoxious teenagers doing the same are not. We bought way too much Halloween candy, as always. We were popular, however, because we discovered that if we went to one of the warehouse type stores we could give away full sized candy bars without spending more than buying the minis at the grocery store.
The store we went to was Gordon Food Service, which is designed mostly for restaurant and catering needs. I love the store because you never know what absurd thing you are going to find. For example, the one gallon container of imitation vanilla.
Speaking of strange things found at the store, I noticed recently that one of our local stores has a very large can that claims to contain a whole cooked chicken. I just found this to be amusing.
Want to see me alienate a significant percentage of my readers? I liked The Daily Show much better when Craig Kilborn was the host. I find it entirely too self-important and not funny now. I keep thinking I'll eventually write a whole post about this, but I have to put it out there even without devoting an entire post to it.
Reaper is funny. Pushing Daisies is clever and sweet, if a little eccentric. Chuck cracks me up. I still wish Lost was already back on.
Lolsecretz is absolutely hilarious. You should go read it now. Of course, if you aren't familiar with Post Secret (but after my last post you should be) or the unstoppable phenomenon that is Lolcats (but if you are online, you pretty much have to be), it won't make much sense.
I have a few other things I want to write about, but they will have to wait until later when I have time, energy and the mental capacity to write it properly.
And finally, I'm not promising anything, but if you happen to watch the college football game on ESPN 2 tomorrow night and see a very fat man dressed in black, it could be me. Of course, it's a football game where the home team's main color is black, so it could be just about anyone else, too.
October 17, 2007
Rejected PostSecrets
By now, pretty much everyone is familiar with PostSecret, the blog made up of anonymous postcards with awful, sometimes sad, sometimes horrific secrets written on them. What you may not know is that PostSecret doesn't use all of the secrets sent to them. In fact, there are some categories that automatically get dropped in the discard pile. In a stunning exposé, I am presenting here 3 types of secrets that never manage to make it onto the PS blog or into one of the books.
Category 1: Adolescent Male Humor
Category 2: Cultural Reference
Category 3: Meta
October 16, 2007
Trivial Tuesday
The 1904 St. Louis World's Fair had a lasting impact on food and culture in the United States. Among the foods that were either first introduced or were widely popularized as a result of the event are the ice cream cone, hamburgers, hot dogs, peanut butter and which soft drink that is still sold today?
October 08, 2007
Yeah, But You Are Aware That There's An Invention Called Television and on This Invention They Show Shows, Right?
Person 1: Oh, I think I saw that on the news last night. Was that the same thing you were talking about?
Person 2: Well, I don't watch television, so I don't know.*
Was "I don't know" or "I didn't see" not a good enough answer? Saying that served no purpose other than attempting to sound superior. In addition, answers like that almost always cause everyone else around them to start denying or trying to justify their own TV habits. Continuing the conversation above:
Person 1: Oh, yeah, I don't usually watch it either but it was on, and I happened to hear.
If the way you say things makes people feel like they need to really stretch the truth or make some sort of attempt to justify themselves, chances are no one really wants to continue conversing with you.
I don't understand why people do this. If someone tries to tell you a story about jogging, you don't brush them off by saying that you don't jog in a way the suggests that anyone who does may as well throw himself off a cliff, because he's pretty much useless anyway.
Look, if you don't watch TV, that's perfectly acceptable, and it's your option, but unless you're taking that time you would spend watching TV and using it to cure cancer or ensure that everyone in the world has both food and shelter, don't expect me to give you a medal for that choice. For that matter, curing the world of hunger, homelessness and cancer may grant you a pass on many things, but it doesn't allow you to be a pompous jerk.
October 04, 2007
A Post About Nothing
I'm still running on empty here, so here are a bunch of things that have nothing to do with each other and aren't long enough to be a full post.
I started playing the game Guild Wars recently (about a month ago), and it's very fun and addictive. Once again, I can blame members of my family for getting me addicted to a game. It's a MMORPG much like WoW and Everquest, but without a monthly fee. In addition, the game uses instancing for many explorable areas, so I don't have to worry about you coming along and stealing the respawn I've been waiting for (or the other way around).
I'm very glad that most of the shows I enjoy watching are back, but I can't help feeling a little disappointed that Lost isn't starting yet. Every week, I get to the middle of the week and am completely worn out and think, "Oh but at least it's time for Lost...Oh, right. February."
Have any of you watched Kitchen Nightmares? I'm not a huge Gordon Ramsey fan, mostly because I'm not a big fan of verbal abuse, but this show is fairly interesting. Also, the people he verbally abuses in this show deserve it most of the time. At the end, things usually turn out well and people have a much nicer restaurant and thank him for what he did. There was one a couple weeks ago that still disturbs me, because of how bad the food was and how bad the pest problems at the restaurant were. *shudder* I saw an episode of the British version of his show on BBC America and was surprised that he seemed to be a completely different guy. No yelling and screaming, just talking firmly. I can't help wondering if this is him being two different characters on the two different shows (neither being necessarily who he is in real life) or if over time, his patience has worn thin enough that he just has to scream at people.
As an Alabama fan (which I have been for most of my life), watching games with John Parker Wilson at quarterback makes me long for the days of Brodie Croyle. It's not that JPW isn't talented, but at some point you have to stop making stupid mistakes and looking like it's your first game as a starter.
On the subject of college football, this article by Ivan Maisel was an excellent read and really showed how much of an impact being a fan can have on someone, even much later in life when they have no real connection to that team.
The other day, I put one of the quick dissolve Listerine strips in my mouth, only it didn't dissolve right away. It just sat there for a second, and then when I moved my tongue it decided to attach itself to the roof of my mouth. For the thirty seconds or so it took for it to dissolve, I looked like a dog with peanut butter stuck on the roof of its mouth. Cinnamon flavored peanut butter.
Speaking of dogs...As if we didn't have enough going on, our dogs decided to try to run around and play inside today. Chewie tried to get Booker to chase him, and when Booker took the bait, Chewie ran and launched himself up onto the couch to turn around and go running the other direction. Unfortunately, the couch in our living room sits under the window, so Chewie's backside smashed into the window, which is now in a million pieces (fortunately, the storm window was up at the time, so it was not broken and could be put down so there isn't a gaping hole allowing the outside to be inside). He's fine (his fur is so thick there was no way glass could get to him), but I'm not so sure about me.
That's all I've got. I'm obscenely busy at work, so I have no left over motivation or mental capacity. I'll try to keep writing something here, but if it's like this post, I'm not sure I see much point.
October 02, 2007
Trivial Tuesday
One of the new television shows starting this fall is Chuck, starring Zachary Levi. Before starring in Chuck, Levi starred in what sitcom from 2002 to 2006?
Nothing? Anyone? Anyone? It was Less Than Perfect.
September 23, 2007
Simpsons Premiere
The Simpsons season premiere was on tonight. I enjoyed the episode, but there was one line that just killed me. Homer and Mr. Burns have flown the corporate jet to Chicago and done all sorts of things including making all sorts of new friends. As they get back on the plane to return to Springfield, one of their new acquaintances shouts, "While you were here, we felt like New York!" I absolutely love Chicago, but it really does have a serious little brother complex when it comes to New York. That joke, despite being a complete throw away line, summed up the inferiority issues that the city has.
September 19, 2007
Talking Dog?
As much as I'd like to claim to have done this, Melissa is the one who gets the credit. Regardless, it's still funny.
I always knew he was plotting something.
September 18, 2007
Trivial Tuesday
Ok, I haven't been doing this recently, so let's try to get back in the swing of things.
I'm going to steal a page out of Danielle's book here. I'll give you the description from the back of DVD cases and you have to tell me what the movie is. Simple, right?
1. After returning from World War II, a young GI finds that he has little in common with the wife he left behind. Disillusioned, he heads north to work as a travelling salesman. There he meets the daughter of a wealthy vineyard owner. On her way home, she is terrified of what her domineering father will do when he learns she is unmarried and pregnant. the young man gallantly offers to help by posing as her husband for one night, unaware that doing so will change both their lives forever.
2. When (character) leaves to seek his fortune, his true love is captured by an evil prince. Will he return in time to save her? Can he battle wizards, warriors and pirates set in his way? You'll find out in this "wonderfully inventive" film for all ages!
3. Using the style and technique that were to make him famous, (Director) gained immediate audience sympathy for the plight of his central character, an innocent Canadian who, while visiting England, is implicated in the theft of natural secrets and murder. The music hall sequence with the remarkable memory act is unforgettable. A (Director) masterpiece!
Tell me the movies in comments section and impress your friends.
September 17, 2007
Lost on Gilligan's Island
I was sent a link to this by Trix a few days several weeks ago. It greatly amused me, so I thought I'd share. Of course, it may not amuse you as much if you aren't a Lost fan, but that's your problem not mine.
September 14, 2007
So, Which Was a Bigger Accomplishment: Running for 2000 Yards in One Season...
You've got to be kidding me...
Ok, let's go with a hypothetical situation, here. Let's say that at least 50% of the people on earth believe you to be a double murderer (and I'm being pretty generous here). Let's also assume that you recently did interviews and found out that for the most part people hate you, even going so far as to crank call an interview you were doing to ask very angry, very pointed questions. In fact, let's also throw in the family of one of the people that you are believed by some to have murdered, who have won a civil case against you and keep a very close eye on everything you do, since you still owe a lot on that settlement. If this were you would you be so stupid as to get yourself involved in any more trouble with the law? You can pretty sure you wouldn't find sympathy from most people.
Unfortunately, ESPN is reporting that OJ Simpson is "considered a suspect" in a break-in at a Las Vegas casino which involved sports collectibles. (you know, like the ones he had to auction off to pay the family for one of the people he killed...allegedly.) There aren't many details other than that right now, but seriously, how dumb does one have to be to get into more trouble when his life is already a wreck?
I'm not saying he was involved in the break-in, but if he was, it would have been because he loved those collectibles very much, right?
September 13, 2007
Of Mice and Tedium
How to use a MouseHow to Use a Mouse No experience necessary Take the time to find out how to use a mouse, sometimes the trickiest but always the most basic computer skill. Learn how to use the device that opens most other computer functions in a hands-on computer class. Monday, September 17 2:00 – 3:30 pm
The best thing about this class: That it lasts for an hour and a half. 90 minutes of trying to figure out how to click vs. double-click and when to do each.
September 06, 2007
Still Here
Just very busy. I'm not totally abandoning you. I even have a few half written posts that may eventually make it up here.
By the way, I've turned on the annoying word verification thing for comments again because I have gotten like 15 spam comments in the past week.
I'll be back when I have time and something to say. For now...umm....hey, look! A red panda!
The red panda is also sometimes called a fire fox, but people who aren't familiar with it still call it an internet explorer.
August 26, 2007
I Have The Power!
Well, we finally have power at the house again. After going through the fridge and freezers, it doesn't look like too much survived the past few days*. That's ok, because I have a computer, internet access, tv, phones that can actually be charged, lights, and many, many other things which run on electricity. It doesn't matter if I am going to use them all or not, the important thing is that if I want to, I can.
*And of course, since it was nature's fault and not that of the power company**, replacing all the food that has been damaged is my responsibility not theirs.
**Though, I would argue that the length of the outage is their fault. We saw two of their repair trucks go by today, and less than 30 minutes later, we had power. Why did I wait 3 days? I guess they don't owe any sort of service to us. It's not like we pay them way too much every month.
August 24, 2007
Another Update, Still No Power
Tonight while we were out, we saw a guy out in front of a local business holding a sign. I couldn't tell what it said at first, but as we passed I realized it said "We sell generators. 10% off, today only."
Tempting...
August 23, 2007
Stormy Weather Pt. 2
I just got our first update on power restoration from the electric company (didn't get to speak to Morgan Freeman though). They are currently estimating our power will be restored on August 25th, 2007 at 4:00. Ah yes, there's nothing like rapid service. I guess I should just be glad that they included 2007 in the date so I don't have to wonder if they'll get to me this year.
Friday AM update: They now claim power will be restored by August 26th, 2007 11:59 PM. Will someone do me a favor and tell them that I hate them.
Stormy Weather
A large line of strong thunderstorms came rolling off Lake Michigan this evening. Around 5:15, a tornado warning was issued for areas just to our southwest. The storms looked to be severe and headed in our direction rapidly. The only good thing was that they were moving fast enough that they wouldn't stay for very long.
They didn't. In fact, we only had around 5 to 10 minutes of a strong storm, but it was enoughto knock limbs down around the neighborhood and cause a power outage (I'm posting from my phone again). Now, if you will excuse me, I have a long evening of sitting in the dark planned.
Guitar Hero
It may be one of the bigger hits that Van Halen ever had, especially during the Sammy Hagar era, but even 15 years later, every time I hear Right Now I want to go give Crystal Pepsi a try.
I wonder if that was really what Eddie Van Halen wanted.
August 20, 2007
This Little Piggy Went to Market
After a while in a marriage you can pretty much tell what your spouse is thinking. I've discussed the importance of this kind of understanding previously, but the understanding that comes with years of living together was made evident again while we were watching television and had the following exchange.
Man on the Food Network: In fact, I've got a buddy who's actually in a Bacon of the Month Club, where they send him a different type of bacon each month.
Craig: *chuckles to himself*
Melissa: No. Don't even think about it.
August 16, 2007
I Have No Toothpaste: Ruminations on Trains, Planes and the Herd Mentality
Each time I travel gives me more things to ponder and more things to want to write about. I figured I might as well collect them here in a poorly organized list so that you can waste as much of your time reading them as I am writing them.
In the US, there are really only two decent means of long distance mass transit: train (which really means Amtrak, since there is only one major carrier) and airplane. Sure there are buses named after dogs that travel the highways that run across our country, but those are usually reserved for people who aren't afraid of spending 72 hours sitting next to a guy who might have been profiled on America's Most Wanted last night or who might just smell like he hasn't showered since the first Bush administration. Besides, if I'm going to travel by road, I would rather drive myself. I can control the music, when and where we stop and who sits next to me.
I hadn't travelled by train for anything city-to-city until recently, and the experience really helped me realize a few things. Mostly, I realized that trains are not designed for people of any size whatsoever. If you ride the train, you had better be thin and short. There is no leg room and no butt room. You can feel free to get up and move about as long as you don't mind getting thrown around the car. There is less security to deal with, so it's easier for everyone to get to and from the trains and waiting areas, but on the down side there is less security so it's easier for everyone to get to and from the trains and waiting areas. Really, everything I've seen indicates that train travel is basically a slower version of air travel, only with more mental illness and less teeth.
Travel by air becomes more and more annoying the more restrictions are put into place for security. If you want to take liquids on a plane, you can...as long as no single container is greater than 3 ounces and all containers fit into a "quart-size, clear, resealable, zip-top bag." I'm not sure whether I believe there was ever any sort of plot that caused this or if the actual plot was one that involved companies that make Zip-loc bags and trial size toothpaste. Like everything else in air travel, the enforcement is completely arbitrary, so I managed to get on a plane in one airport with my toothpaste safely in my carry-on bag, only to have it confiscated at the next security station because it was three and a half ounces, and I might try to brush the teeth of the passengers around me against their will. (Personally, I'd think that would be a public service, but I guess not everyone agrees.)
One of the most fascinating things about air travel is the layover at an intermediate airport. You may be stopping in Detroit for three hours on your way from Chicago to St. Louis or spending all day in Charlotte when you travel from Denver to Los Angeles. Not only do the routes you have to take seem to make no sense, but the lengthy layovers provide you the opportunity to spend time observing the other people stuck in the airport with you. There may be families running from gate to gate trying not to miss their flight. There may be couples on their honeymoon, who are the only ones that don't seem to be frustrated by the entire process. Mostly, however, you will find the travelling businessman. There are a few differences depending on whether he is single and hitting on every girl in the gate area, just hanging out in the sports bar, or trying to be productive with his time before the next flight. In spite of these differences, you can still spot them based on the characteristics they (almost all) have in common. First, there is the ubiquitous cellphone, preferably a Blackberry. This is out and on at all times, and even while walking through the airport, the businessman will be sending emails on it. In addition, you can often spot them by the Bluetooth ear piece which makes it look like the terminal is full of extras from Flash Gordon. Of course, there are exceptions to this. You might even happen upon a business man who isn't wearing an earpiece, but rather carrying a book (and by a book, I mean the most recent John Grisham novel or a book about business management). The more time you spend in the airport, the more time you realize that there are really only about 10 people at most wandering around there with you, the rest are just clones of those 10. The real fun is figuring out which of that 10 you are.
It doesn't seem to matter which method of travel you choose, you have to deal with plenty of waiting as well as other people who may be concerned with things other than your convenience. It's useful if you have to travel an extremely long way, but otherwise, I think that until someone perfects the Stark Trek style transporter, I'll stick with my car.
August 14, 2007
I Don't Know How to Put This, But I'm Kind of a Big Deal
I was listening to the radio this morning and they were discussing the results of a recent survey (from Glamour Magazine or another similarly scientific journal) which discussed what women really want. They asked for women to complete the following sentence: "My perfect man would be ____."
The answers weren't all that surprising, but they certainly don't do anything to help build confidence in the normal guys out there. Just once, it would be nice to hear something praising the average guy (or more specifically, praising someone like me). I want to turn on the radio and hear that 47% of women finished that sentence with "a morbidly obese scientist who happens to run a blog on the side."
Is that really too much to ask? It would make me feel a lot better about myself, and in the grand scheme of things, it's much less insulting to women in general than the actual results in which 100% of the women surveyed essentially said "a wallet."
August 10, 2007
Useless Information about The Fount of Useless Information
Oh, look. Craig has nothing interesting to say again. What a surprise.
Since I don't have anything to talk about right now, I'll just allow you to feed my narcissism (or my self-loathing, I guess we'll have to see how it works out). Let's find out what you know about me. The quiz below has 20 multiple choice questions about me, all (like everything else on this site) completely useless information. How many do you think you can answer? (and yes, I realize that this is a pathetic post, but like I said I've got nothing left to talk about)
Create your own Friend Quiz here
August 09, 2007
Say, Say, Say
A few random and completely out of context things that have been said recently.
"We're just lucky we didn't crash. I'm going 65 miles per hour, and suddenly I've got a biscuit in my eye."
"White lion, snow leopard. Same thing."
"Believe me if it was singing When the Children Cry, we'd be videoing it."
"That's going on Youtube with the title, Not as Dramatic as You've Been Led to Believe."
"Remember my thoughts on people who wear their hair in a fauxhawk? I think it's even worse when you style your kid's hair into a fauxhawk."
"It wasn't bad, but I wouldn't buy it again...ever."
"This is either going to be the most disgusting thing ever, or it's going to be really good."
"No, no, I know you need to feed your root beer habit."
"That's quite the hodgepodge of flavors you've got going on."
"I don't know. Maybe they like licking hippies."
August 07, 2007
Trivial Tuesday
Today is David Duchovny's birthday. Back in the 1990's Duchovny was on The X-Files and played an FBI agent named Fox Mulder. (Oh, come on, you didn't think it would be that easy, did you?) During the height of X-Files mania (just a year or so before the movie), he starred in a not so successful movie called Playing God. Starring opposite him was a future Academy Award winning actress who had not yet reached full star status. Who was she?
August 06, 2007
Good News Everyone!
As many of you know (and if you didn't know, you could probably figure it out just by reading this site), one of my all time favorite shows is Futurama. It's one of three shows for which my TiVo is set to record all episodes, because I gladly watch episodes multiple times (the other two are The Simpsons and Good Eats). In fact, when I was watching an episode and the text during the intro (You know, the part that always changes: "Bender's humor by Microsoft Joke", "Hey TiVo, Recommend this", etc.) read "Soon to be a major religion," Melissa scoffed and said, "seems like it already is in our house." I have no problem rewatching just about any episode. Well, any episode except for Jurassic Bark. I can't handle that one anymore (and I'm not the only one. Check out this comic from xkcd. You need to hover over the image for the tooltip referencing Jurassic Bark.)
I've said all that to say this: There are new episodes of Futurama coming. Embedded below is a clip from Comic-Con about its return. The quality isn't great (at times you can't even make out what they are saying), but it's the best I can find at the moment. (Unfortunately, there is no sign of Scruffy in this clip.)
Feasting on Asphalt: The River Run
Are you watching Feasting on Asphalt 2? You should be.
The basic premise, much like the original Feasting on Asphalt, involves Alton Brown and his crew traveling the back roads (or at least not the interstate) and finding all the wonderful local food that is available. As we travel along with them, we find not only great regional food, but culture, history and amazing people.
Season One was excellent, and Season Two promises much of the same, though hopefully this time it will not conclude with Alton wiping out on his motorcycle and breaking his collar bone. While the first season took us from the Atlantic Ocean to the Pacific, this season sends Alton north along the Mississippi. The premiere episode included Alton and the crew eating on the street, failed attempts at petting an alligator, references to Pink Floyd, Iron Chef America, Dead Man Walking and The Coneheads, and concluded with a man dancing around in a sausage costume. All in all, it was a informative and entertaining, just like I'd expect.
Set your TiVos my friends and enjoy the journey and the food. Oh, and if you haven't seen the first trip yet, watch for repeats or go buy the DVDs. (how many DVD sets do you know that come with a View-Master? Exactly.)
August 02, 2007
We Could Have A Butter Eating Contest
I promised the story of making butter but have failed to go back to it. I figured, since I have nothing else to talk about, now would be a good time to share.
One of my absolute favorite television programs is Good Eats. Our TiVo records each episode that airs, and I often go back and rewatch older episodes that have been recorded again. A few weeks ago, I was watching an older episode ("The Case For Butter") and Alton Brown did a quick demo where he put heavy cream into a food processor and turned it into butter. Immediately, my brain went to work. Can I do this? Is there any reason to do this? If I decide to make my own butter is that voice of reason, better known as a wife, going to try to stop me? Eventually I decided the answers were, "probably", "Is there any reason not to?" and "of course" and that I wouldn't do it.
Not long after that, Melissa's sister, L, came to visit. While we waited for Melissa to finish getting ready to go see Harry Potter1, L decided she wanted to watch some Good Eats. We had already watched the most recent episode, so she asked what other episodes would be good. Since the episode is one of the most informative, I suggested the butter episode I had recently watched. When we reached the portion of the episode in which he makes the butter, she looked at the TV, surprised, and said, "Wait a minute, so..."2 By the time we left for the movie, we had talked Melissa into it and made plans to get supplies after the movie.3
There are other ways to make butter4 but here is how we did it (with pictures):
Obtain cream. We used heavy whipping cream. The key here is that the more fat in the cream, the more butter you will have at the end.
Put the cream into a mixing bowl, perhaps like the one for this mixer. (The test tube spice rack is entirely optional)
Decide if you want your butter salted. I added a half teaspoon or so of salt to our butter, since I knew we wouldn't use it up too rapidly.
Begin whipping. Just act like you are making whipped cream (but without adding sugar). You know how people say not to over-whip whipped cream? There's a very good reason why, and in this case you want to completely ignore that advice. When you keep agitating the cream past the point of being whipped cream, you begin to separate the fat and the liquid that were in the original cream (it took us about 20-25 minutes for this to happen). Keep beating until this separation happens and you end up with distinct solid and liquid elements5 in the bowl. Like this:
Remove the solids and place them on cheesecloth (or in our case, paper towels in a colander) to help remove any of the remaining liquid. Your dog may look on longingly at this point, but it is not required (even if it is cute).
Once the butter has drained a little more, put it into a container for storage and put it in the fridge or just start putting it on some bread.
In the end, you are left with a big hunk of butter that tastes...well, like fresh, creamy butter.
It was fun, tasty and perhaps a little pointless, but I'm certainly glad we did it. Now if I can just get Melissa to let me try making bacon...
1 One disadvantage of having only one bathroom in a house is that you spend a lot of time waiting for everyone else to get ready.
2 As you might guess, the success of my unintentional nefarious plan was met with much evil laughter and dry-washing of hands.
3 Don't you love how I'm portraying Melissa as against me having any fun? Apparently she's the Marge to my Homer in this post.
4 The easiest being, go to the store and picking up the package of Land O'Lakes.
5 The solids are, of course, the butter. The liquid is buttermilk. Actual buttermilk. It's very thin and apparently not as tart as the buttermilk you buy at the store. The buttermilk from the store has nothing to do with butter, it is cultured buttermilk, which is just milk to which certain bacterial cultures have been added. I imagine you could use the buttermilk from this process for anything you use cultured buttermilk for, but we just threw ours away.
August 01, 2007
Strange Happenings at the Grocery Store
I was at the deli counter trying to get ham and pastrami for sandwiches, and the person at the counter questioned where I was from originally. I told him, and he explained that he could tell that I was from Alabama or at least somewhere in the South. I can't tell you how long it's been since anyone picked up my remnant of an accent, much less pinpointed where I got it.
Apparently, the way I say "pound" gives me away. Who knew?
July 31, 2007
Trivial Tuesday
July 27, 2007
More from the phone
The movie's over. It's time to go get a haircut.
Having a day off of work is exciting. Maybe I should do it more often.
Don't worry, I'm not going to keep updating like this all day.
Posting from the phone
It's just before noon on Friday. I am at the theater waiting for The Simpsons Movie to start.
That is all.
July 25, 2007
The Way Back Machine: Ain't Nothin' Changed*
We haven't done an episode of The Way Back Machine in a long time. Here's a brief one until I have something more interesting to tell you.
Do any of the rest of you remember the Mr. Men and Little Miss books? In case you don't, they were a set of children's books in which each book was about a character with a specific trait, which was also the source of the name of the character and book (e.g. Mr. Happy, Mr. Clumsy, Little Miss Late).
When I was in elementary school, I had a teacher who at the end of the year gave out Mr. Men and Little Miss books to all the kids based on their personalities throughout the year. It's always interesting to see just exactly what your teacher thinks of you. My book?
Mr. Chatterbox.
I guess things haven't really changed that much.
*Bonus points for knowing the group and album for the 1990 song used in title of this edition of The Way Back Machine.
July 24, 2007
Trivial Tuesday
How about science as our category today? In fact, let's make it food science.
Chocolate is enjoyable for humans and toxic to some animals like dogs. The chemical responsible for this toxicity is an alkaloid similar in structure to caffeine. What is this compound, with a name that comes from the Greek words for food of the gods?
Congrats to Itchy who was only off by a letter in remembering that it is theobromine.
July 23, 2007
Indiana Jones and the Unannounced Title
As pretty much everyone knows by now, Harrison Ford is working on the fourth and, one would assume, final Indiana Jones film. There has been much speculation on how he will handle the role at the age of 65, as well as what the eventual title of the film will be. With that in mind, I have a few suggestions that Steven Spielberg is welcome to use.*
- Indiana Jones and the Nostalgic Fanboys
- Indiana Jones and the Enlarged Prostate**
- Indiana Jones and the Money-hungry Studio
- Indiana Jones and the Bad Idea Earring
- Indiana Jones and the Ubiquitous Man
- Indiana Jones and the Very, Very Last Crusade...No, Really. We Mean It This Time. We Promise. Cross Our Heart and Hope to Die. Well, Not Really. I Mean, No One Hopes to Die, Do They? Anyway, We're Serious. It Really Is The Last One.***
- Indiana Jones and the Superfluity of Sequels
- Indiana Jones and the Lessons Not Learned from the Star Wars Prequels****
*All joking aside, who cares if he's 65. I know I'll be at the theater as soon as they release it.
**Even if I will happily go see it right away, I couldn't do this without at least one "Indy is old" joke.
***This title might be a little too "To Wong Foo" for most people, so they'd probably have to shorten it.
****My personal favorite.
July 19, 2007
Running Diary: World Series of Pop Culture Finale
I did this last year, so why not do it again this year. I promise, no more griping about certain really bad decisions that were made by the judges last night. (Ok, I don't promise no more griping. I promise to try to avoid griping too much.)
9:00 - "This time it's war!" Isn't that really a bit of a stretch for a tagline for this show?
9:01 - We've managed to get to this point without VH1 spoiling who makes it to the final match. Perhaps we've learned since last year.
9:01 - They really are pushing Twisted Misters as the bad guys on the show.
9:02 - "Thank you for being a friend." Everybody loves a good Golden Girls joke.
9:03 - Yeah, the missed high five from Almost Perfect Strangers is getting a little old.
9:04 - The first category is Dirty Dancing. It's all about the movie and we hear that at least one of the members of APS has never seen it.
9:06 - D'oh what is Baby's name. Melissa pipes up with "Frances" and on the TV, Rachel echoes her answer and gets the point.
9:07 - Well, if Lucien didn't know that Wayne Knight was the answer, Rachel's "Newman" comment may have helped.
9:08 - Rachel wins the category 4-2 and Lucien is out. That may hurt since he was almost solely responsible for the last win for APS.
9:14 - New Category: Two Hit Wonders. Are they more or less memorable than one hit wonders?
9:16 - Come on...You've got to know Whitesnake. And she does, it just takes a few seconds.
9:17 - I can honestly say I haven't thought about the Fine Young Cannibals in many, many years.
9:17 - We go to a tie breaker and it is Madonna's studio albums.
9:18 - "Confessions on a Dance Floor" How did Robert remember that one?
9:19 - Robert wins yet another tie breaker and there is only one Almost Perfect Stranger remaining.
9:20 - The category is The Pitch. (Pat gives a pitch for a TV show, and they have to name it.)
9:21 - Come on, Kelly. Say Small Wonder. Oh, she misses it and Tod steals. He goes on to get the next one and win the category. Unfortunately, he's the only player left for his team, so he has two more rounds to win.
9:26 - Scorsese film quotes. That could be tough. It's Robert vs. Tod. The best players I have seen this year are going head to head.
9:27 - I thought Todd wasn't going to get Casino for just a second there.
9:27 - Todd misses Gangs of New York and Robert steals. That might really cost him.
9:28 - Both of them miss a quote from The Aviator and it sends Wocka Wocka to the finals. I feel bad for Almost Perfect Strangers, but I really like Wocka Wocka and I'm glad to see them move on.
9:31 - We're previewing the final and once again Twisted Misters is obnoxious. If they aren't actually the world's biggest jerks, they really need to have harsh words with whoever is editing.
9:33 - Robert very politely tries to divert some of the praise from himself to his teammates.
9:34 - A Simpsons category! Have I mentioned that I love this show. It's Victor vs. Kelly in a Springfield battle royale.
9:36 - Something tells me we're headed for a tiebreaker.
9:37 - Who shot Mr. Burns? Of course, it's Maggie. No charges were filed, because, in the words of Clancy Wiggum, "No jury in the world's going to convict a baby. Um...maybe Texas." We're going to a tiebreaker after the really long break.
9:42 - Tie Breaker: Emmy Winners for Best Drama Series
9:43 - These guys are unbelievable at this, but Kelly fails to get the last one and is eliminated, while Victor does an annoying victory dance.
9:44 - Now Pat is spoiling movies. (Here, I'll spoil one that won't be out until November of 2008: Snape kills Dumbledore)
9:46 - It sucks to get home improvement shows mixed up with Eddie Murphy movies (not that it matters since Kelly added 2 anyway).
9:47 - Twisted Misters is now up 3-1 and only Robert is left. If you'll forgive me for going all Han Solo on you, I have a bad feeling about this.
9:52 - Pat jinxes Robert by pointing out that he's never lost a category. (Not that it isn't obvious that he'll lose just based on the fact that there's less than 10 minutes left and 3 people left on Twisted Misters)
9:54 - Ruth! Ruth! Baby! Ruth!
9:55 - Keep hope alive Robert. Say The Great Outdoors. Yes, going to a tie breaker (again, not that it matters)
9:56 - Now to break the tie, they have to list the cast members of Little Miss Sunshine. Unfortunately, Robert doesn't have the final answer.
9:57 - Twisted Misters wins and is obnoxious AGAIN. I'd just like to take this opportunity to say that I cannot stand those guys.
9:58 - Seeing the interviews at the end, only reinforces the thought that Wocka Wocka is made up of a group of good people, and Twisted Misters...well, they aren't.
That's it for this year. Hopefully, next year there will be someone to make them shut up and put them in their place. With that, I will end and the only thing left to say is...
Go home, smell you later. Oh, I wasn't going to mention that. Oops.
More Rambling About The World Series of Pop Culture
Ok, a little bit more on the World Series of Pop Culture. If you haven't watched last night's episode an you don't want to know what happens, you should stop now.
We're down to three, and at this point I don't care who wins the second semi-final match (Wocka Wocka or Almost Perfect Strangers) as long as they shut the Twisted Misters up. Those guys are obnoxious and arrogant.
As if that wasn't enough to make me dislike them, they caught two huge breaks in judging last night. First, on a question about what Will Smith yells to the cab driver who drops him at Uncle Phil's house in Bel Air, one of the members of Twisted Misters answered, "Smell ya later." When prompted for more information, he elaborated "Go home, smell you later." I rewound multiple times to confirm that he really did say "go home" as opposed to the correct "Yo, homes!" Unfortunately, the judges obviously thought he said something different than I did, because his answer was accepted. Later, during a tie-breaker, the players were alternating listing James Bond movies, when the member of 3 Men and a Little Lazy gave the answer "Her Majesty's Secret Service." Rather than prompting for more information (i.e. say the word "On") or just accepting it because it is certainly close enough, the answer was deemed incorrect, in essence ending the game.
I'm not sure if they are trying to make these guys into the villains of the show, but if so, they are certainly doing a great job of it.
Still Around
It's starting to look like I'm deserting all of you, isn't it. It's not intentional; it's just how things are at the moment. I'm busy enough at work that when I do finally get home, I feel like I've just finished running a marathon(1), making it where I really don't have the energy to do anything about posting on here. In fact, anything I have posted in the past few weeks was actually written long before. So, what else has been going on with me recently? Let's see what I would have told you all about if I actually bothered to post:
Ratatouille - Saw it, loved it and highly recommend that you go see it.
Harry Potter - If you like all the other HP movies, you'll like this one. It's a little darker, and a lot more condensed, but I liked it better than #'s 2 and 4.
World Series of Pop Culture - Of course I'm watching the World Series of Pop Culture. How could I not? I love the show. I love playing along. I love laughing at Pat Kiernan, especially when he's reading lyrics. Unfortunately, the teams I want to win aren't always winning, but I'm still enjoying it.
Eureka - The second season of Eureka is on Sci Fi now, and we're watching again. It's a great summer show. It's light, clever, amusing, nothing requiring lots of thought, just fun.
Doctor Who - The third season just started on Sci Fi recently. I absolutely love that show, but I'm missing Rose this year. We're only a couple episodes in, so maybe Martha will start growing on me.
Made Butter - It's kind of a long story...you know what? This one really deserves it's own post. And it will get one. Until I bother to actually write it, here are pictures that Melissa posted over at her site. (oops, forgot the link)
Glass Studio - We went to the grand opening of a glass studio not too far from here. Actually, this needs t be its own post, too. I promise, these will actually be posted relatively soon.(2)
I won candy at work - I was in a training session recently where the trainer stopped a couple of times during the presentation to allow breaks. The breaks were first "stretch breaks", where everyone could stand and make sure that they did still have circulation in their legs. Following the stretch break was a mental break where we were asked to perform an activity completely unrelated to the training. During our second break, the activity was to write down as many Tom Hanks films as possible in 30 seconds. Getting 8 of them won me a mini Mr. Goodbar. Sadly, this may have been the highlight of my week.
(1) Obviously, this is an exaggeration. I would never run a marathon, but if I did what I would feel would be nothing, because I would have died long before mile 26.
(2) Not that you really care.
July 09, 2007
Separated at Birth v. 7
Burger King Whopper with Cheese
Ok, this may not make sense to many of you, but if you've tried these new Doritos you probably know exactly what I mean.
(For those of you not familiar with the X-13D Doritos, it is a new promotion where the name of the flavor has not been decided yet and you can enter a contest to name the flavor.)
July 05, 2007
They Found Me, I Don't Know How, But They Found Me
I was talking with a fellow blogger about weird searches that find our respective blogs recently and decided it had been a while since I last checked on my own stats. Every now and then, I look to see who's stopping by and how they are getting here. Sometimes, I don't really want to know the answers. For example, it's a little disturbing that someone was searching for the words coprophagia and geisha on Google (I've tried to block all thoughts of why they might be doing that from my mind). Even more disturbing, I was the first result.
July 04, 2007
Nathan's Famous Hot Dog Eating Contest
Noon on the 4th of July? It must be time for the Nathan's Famous Hot Dog Eating Contest. This year the competition for the Mustard Yellow Belt has really heated up. Joey Chestnut, who came in second last year, recently set a new world record with 59.5 hot dogs in 12 minutes. Kobayashi, the champion for the past 6 years and world record holder until Chestnut's qualifying effort last month, is back but is suffering from jaw pain and no one is sure yet whether he will be able to compete.
We are currently only about 15 minutes into the hour long show and the food related puns are already overwhelming. We've had "meat" the competitors, the "buntenders", been told that Kobayashi is a "lunchtime decision" and a half dozen others. That's the problem with this show, it's an hour long while the contest itself is only 12 minutes long.
The broadcasters are trying very hard to convince everyone that Chestnut winning the Mustard Yellow Belt is a matter of national pride. First, it's shoving hot dogs into your mouth. I'm much more concerned about things like quality of life, education and how we treat people than whether my country wins this or any other sporting event. Second, considering Chestnut's recent comments about Kobayashi's injury ("I don't want to call anyone a coward, but..."), I don't think I particularly want to root for him regardless of country of origin.
We're now being introduced to the competitors and just saw one competitor who is a vegetarian except during competitions and another who is 63. As we reach the end of these intros, it's time for a prediction. Kobayashi always has another gear and seems to have something left in the tank at the end of the competition. I don't what's going to happen, and it's probably going out on a limb with the injury hanging over him, but I think that Kobayashi will not only compete, but win, and set a new world record with at least 60 hot dogs.
-The contest is underway and Kobayashi seems to be going as fast as always.
-At 10:30, Kobayashi has 14 and Chestnut has 16. The idea of eating that many makes me a little sick.
-With 8 minutes to go, Chestnut has a 5 dog lead.
-6 minutes as the gap has closed to 2 dogs.
-Someone needs to shut the announcer up about how Chestnut will be an American Hero if he wins. A great competitor, but not a hero.
-These guys are going to shatter the record if they don't really slow down.
-The closest competitors are 10 hot dogs behind Chestnut and Kobayashi.
-There is less than half a hot dog between them at 2:30.
-"The Spray Zone?" That's just nasty.
-15 second and tied at 62.
-The unofficial numbers are 66 for Chestnut and 63 for Kobayashi.
-The numbers are now official and Chestnut has the new world record and the Mustard Yellow belt.
It was an unbelievable performance by the injured Kobayashi and an amazing performance by Chestnut. The world record was completely destroyed and the competition was truly disgusting. Two guys constantly pushing each other to get better and work harder. That's what a good rivalry should be. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm feeling a little sick.
July 03, 2007
On The Lot Again, Just Can't Wait To Get On The Lot Again
Mostly, the films have been mediocre at best, while the highlight has often been Carrie Fisher trying desperately not to insult someone who just turned in a horrible film. The best moment of the show came a couple weeks ago when Carrie responded to a film which was horrible and horribly boring by telling the contestant that it was her "least favorite thing after adolescence and getting left by a man for a man." Tonight's episode is supposedly horror but unless the quality improves, so is every other week.
Recently, they also held a log line competition on the show's website. The deadline for entries passed and as the date for finalists to be revealed approached the date kept moving farther and farther back. Eventually, about two or three weeks after the original date, the finalists were revealed. Looking over the list, it's no wonder people complain about Hollywood being unoriginal1. I have not yet decided which story to I'll vote for, but I have discovered a very fun game where I read the list and try to identify the TV show or movie whose plot is being described. For example, one entry describes three teenagers wandering in the woods in search of an urban legend. The entries must have all been pretty bad if the plot of The Blair Witch Project made it into the top 40.
After watching tonight's episode, the quality did improve, but only one film (Eternal Waters by Jason) really stood out. The others were ok, but not great. For Kenny, this week was a triumph because it was not as appalling as his previous films (to quote Carrie Fisher, "Compared to your other stuff, that was Gone with the Wind."), and his film included one excellent shot of one of his monsters approaching as seen in the side mirror of the car. Mateen showed promise and originality, but needed to focus a little more, while Shira-Lee's film was relatively derivative, but well-made. Andrew combined comedy with his horror film and made a good, but not great attempt at both. Sam, on the other hand, went strictly with horror and broke out the B-movie puppets for a monster. Unfortunately, the downfall of his movie was not the puppet, but all the exposition in his intro. Overall, I suppose it was better than last week, and much better than 2 weeks ago, but none of these people are making films that make me feel like I would want to pay to go see their work.
1 Full disclosure here: I did enter a few into the competition and am not among the finalists. No, that doesn't bother me, because I never really expected to be. I figured with all the people online who might be submitting things, there would be plenty of good entries. Just thought that I should let you know that I am actually complaining about a contest I entered.
Trivial Tuesday
The 1986 film Stand By Me tells the story of four young friends who go looking for the body of child who was hit by a train. Wil Wheaton played Gordie, while Chris and Teddy were played by River Phoenix and Corey Feldman, respectively. Who played Vern, the fourth in their group of friends?
July 02, 2007
I'm Such an Idiom!
Idioms are interesting things, especially when you are dealing with a language that is not your primary one. For example, we were at a Mexican restaurant the other day, and the restaurant had several signs up explaining changes that had recently occurred. The signs all explained that they could not sell alcohol and said "thank you for your comprehension." I imagine that they were meaning thank you for your understanding and simply used another word that in most contexts would mean the same thing. Unfortunately, in this case it changed the meaning of the signs from "Thank you for supporting us despite this" to "Thank you for being able to wrap your puny mind around this. I know it's difficult to figure out such a complicated concept."
June 26, 2007
Trivial Tuesday
In the late 19th and early 20th century there was an uprising in China by a group known as the Righteous Harmony Society who objected to foreign influence. By what English name is this uprising commonly known?
June 21, 2007
Brain Clutter
Ok, here's the second video. I remember that this show used to come on after Welcome to Pooh Corner, and I still remembered the song for this one too. Other than the song and that the Orangutan is named QT, I don't really remember much. Does anyone else remember watching Dumbo's Circus?
While I'm on the "does anyone else remember this" subject, do any of you who did watch Welcome to Pooh Corner remember the "Too Smart for Strangers" special? The idea of Winnie the Pooh talking about people touching you inappropriately is actually pretty disturbing, now that I think back on it.
June 20, 2007
Web's Worst Comic vol. 2: Charades
Apologies for the size, I can't get Blogger to let me make it larger. Click to see full size.
June 19, 2007
Trivial Tuesday
Congratulations to Invisible Lizard who remembered that it was Billie Jean. Coincidentally, I saw a show on VH1 this weekend (i.e. after posting the question and after it was answered) where they mentioned the very first moonwalk.
June 18, 2007
Pieces of Eight
So, I was tagged with this meme and have been having a hard time with it. I'm supposed to tell you 8 random things about me, and then tag eight of you to do the same. Easy, right? Yeah, like I can come up with 8 things that might be interesting about me that I'm willing to tell you, but haven't told you yet. (Actually, have I done this meme already? I feel like I have at some point.)
1. I'm currently very disappointed that I missed seeing the Sci-Fi original movie Ice Spiders. I saw commercials for it, and had intended to watch or record it, but forgot all about it until it was too late.
2. I've actually thought a lot about quitting this blog or at least taking a break from it. In fact, I even wrote a post 3 months ago about taking a break, but I never posted it.
3. I love the new version of Doctor Who and am anxiously awaiting the beginning of Season 3 next month. (For those of us in the US, that is. I realize that Season 3 will be finished in the UK before I get to see the premiere.)
4. While a decent case could be made for Tiger Woods, I believe that the most dominant (in his own sport) single athlete in the world today is Takeru Kobayashi, yet recently someone broke his most famous world record. Finally, the guy is getting some competition. So if you don't think I'll be watching and blogging when they go head to head on July 4th, you are greatly mistaken.
5. I could spend hours at a time on Wikipedia, starting with one thing that I want to look up, and then just moving to article after article linked in the text.
6. I am slightly (and embarrassingly) addicted to the new Southern Style Chicken Sandwich at McDonalds. I realize that this a a horrible thing to admit, but there it is.
7. I'm having a hard time with this one. I've already filled out #8, but I can't think of what to have for the next to last one. I've come up with a few, but then I keep deciding that they are better as a full post instead. Ok, here it is: I like to quote lyrics from a song in normal conversation whenever possible and act as if nothing is unusual. You can do this with movie or television quotes as well, but since lyrics are so out of context when they are parted from music, it takes a while for people to realize what I'm doing. This works best if you can make them fit the context (at least at first) of the conversation (ex. "Her parents were not there for her. They just pretty much ignored her when she was growing up." "So, daddy didn't pay attention...to the fact that mommy didn't care?") But it also works for confusing people with completely random fake conversations. ("How was your day?" "I hurt myself today." "Oh no, how?" "To see if I still feel." "What? Are you ok?" "I focus on the pain, the only thing that's real." "What are you talking about? Oh. You're doing it again, aren't you?")
8. Since Pluto was downgraded from planet to "dwarf planet named after Mickey's dog", I've been wondering how to change the song I learned in elementary school that helped me remember the order of the planets in our solar system. You remember "My Very Educated Mother Just Served Us Nine Pizza-pies" (or Pies or Pizzas, depending on the version) don't you? Well, it can't just end at the educated mother serving nine. There has to be something. The best I'm come up with so far is "...Just Served Us Naan," but I'm not sure that naan is exactly accessible enough to make it useful rather than confusing to elementary school kids. "Nachos", maybe?
Ok, now to tag eight of you. The problem here is that if I were to tag eight people, I'd have to tag all of you that read this blog and then find a couple of random people to bring the total up. So, I guess you can all consider yourselves tagged (if you want, or just ignore it if you don't).
June 13, 2007
Sad News
The man who first taught a generation (or more) of children that science can be fun (especially when you blow stuff up) is gone. Don Herbert, better known as Mr. Wizard, passed away yesterday.
Through his television shows, he made science exciting and accessible to all sorts of children. His influence on pop culture was such that even the sitcom Dinosaurs had its own version of him.
Rest in peace, Mr. Wizard. You were a wonderful educator and entertainer.
June 12, 2007
Trivial Tuesday
The Sopranos recently ended its run on HBO, angering many fans with its final scene. My question today, however, refers back to earlier seasons. For five seasons, Drea de Matteo portrayed Adriana on The Sopranos. Eventually, her character was written off the show, and de Matteo went on to play in what short lived spin-off from a popular sitcom?
June 11, 2007
It's Only a Flesh Wound
I've noticed something recently that I really don't get. At restaurants, anyone who is working that also happens to have any sort of visible piercing other than pierced ears always has a band-aid over the piercing. Nose, lip, eyebrow, whatever, there's a band-aid covering it up. What's the purpose of this? Is it supposed to hide this from the customers? It makes it look like much of the staff has horrific facial wounds that won't heal. Now, I don't know about you, but I'd much rather see a tiny silver stud in the side of somone's nose than have to worry about whether their leprosy is spreading back in the kitchen.
The only option I can think of other than simply trying to "hide" the piercing is that someone has decided that they are a health risk. This makes absolutely no sense, since (a) they shouldn't be and (b) if they were, there should be band-aids on the ears of most of the other employees. Does anyone actually know for sure why this is done? (I haven't really looked around enough to know if this is a uniform practice or just at certain places.)
June 07, 2007
Potato Wave
The Pearl Jam song, Yellow Ledbetter has always been a favorite of mine. From the first time a friend played it for me and said, "You've gotta hear this," I loved it.
Unfortunately, no one has ever quite been sure of the meaning of the song, since a reliable Eddie Vedder to English dictionary has not yet been created. Most attempts to decipher the lyrics have involved reverse engineering what he might have sounded like without the cotton balls in his mouth.
Now, there is finally a definitive version of the lyrics, complete with pictures to accompany the song and lyrics. And it was on YouTube. Who would have guessed?
June 06, 2007
Separated at Birth? v. 6
June 05, 2007
On The Lot: Does Anyone Else See the Irony in Having One's Film Criticized by Michael Bay?
This week, only 5 people screened their films. I'm not sure that I really loved any of the efforts this week, but overall I felt that the two women in this week's group of five did better than the others.
Sam, who made the clever "Replication Theory" last week, started things off a guy dropping a ring into the toilet. The problem is that no matter what happened, I didn't care about him. The whole thing felt like a joke that just wouldn't end. Carrie talks with her hands and struggles to get the words out to praise him. Oh no. I'm agreeing with Michael Bay. Am I on crack or is he actually making sense? Garry Marshall wants Sam to make a film that doesn't make him want to go to the bathroom. Garry, at your age, that's probably your prostate, not his films.
Second was Trevor's film, "Teri" about a guy waiting for his blind date. When it ended I said, "Well, that was kind of cute-ish" immediately followed by Carrie Fischer giving echoing my sentiments. Michael Bay criticizes some of the visuals, flips his hair a few times and poses for the camera. Garry talks about liking Trevor's film from last week and then begins talking about what it was like making films when he was a little boy in Ancient Rome.
Third is Hilary, who has nowhere to go but up from last week's smelly pee film. That film was horrifying, but in a good, funny way. Very well written, but not so wonderfully shot. Carrie praises Hilary's writing, but wants her to work on how she shoots things and not make things so claustrophobic. Michael Bay says it didn't work, and Melissa points out that you can tell he really loves himself just by watching him. Garry praises her writing as well, then says "back up" and accuses her of making a cell phone video.
Fourth is "Dough: The Musical" from Adam. Some of the lyrics were clever and the transition where the baker threw flour was very nice, but I didn't like it at all. Is it just because I'm being overly critical since it's a musical? (Watching it again, it still doesn't do much for me because it's a musical, but there are some really nice visuals in there.) Carrie loves it. Michael Bay asks himself to go backstage and make out. Garry doesn't like that the main actor was looking at the back of the actress's head at the end.
The final film is from Shalini. The pseudo-documentary style and subject aren't what I would pick, but she obviously knows how to shoot things because it looks wonderful. Not only does it look great, but she gets the actor to be just reach out and grab the audience right away. Very well made. Carrie talks about her likes and dislikes in that film. Meanwhile, she seems to be reciting the Gettysburg Address in sign language. Michael Bay (and yes, he must be referred to with both names) likes it, and I begin to have seizures from realizing that I have agreed with him multiple times tonight. Garry says "Incoherent. My sister Penny. Incoherent. Women filmmakers. My sister Penny. Incoherent. Thank you."
As I said at the beginning, I'm not sure I have strong feelings on who I really liked and who I really didn't like. If I had to pick, I'd say that Trevor's film was the weakest (and last week's film doesn't help) and that he should be the one to go home. If I had to guess, however, I'd say that the one going home might end up being Shalini. I guess we'll find out in a week.
Trivial Tuesday
In 2005, the series Doctor Who returned to television with Christopher Eccleston as the ninth Doctor. After only one season, Eccleston left the show and was replaced by David Tennant.
More recently Eccleston was seen (sometimes) in a guest starring role on a US science fiction TV show. What was that show?
June 04, 2007
May 31, 2007
Hola!
I think my favorite commercial on TV right now is for Verizon Wireless. In this ad, a man is telling his kids that they can send messages on their phones to anyone. They reply that they already do, and he tells them that it means that their mother can quit her second job. At that point, the mother walks in wearing a taco costume. The father looks at her and says, "Hola!" (Wow, this works much better on screen than in text)
It cracks me up every time I see it. I think it may be that his greeting is exactly the type of thing I would do, and would end up getting myself into a bit of trouble.
Here's a link to the video.
