You never know what you'll find when you get your film back from being developed.

It's Not Ironic; It's Just Coincidental

We've had a lot of snow this winter. Seriously, a lot. Back in mid to late January I saw on the news that our snowfall total for the year was already 9 or 10 inches above average. When the city decides that there has been enough snow (usually >4 or 6 inches in a 24 hour period), they send out the snow plows. As anyone who has lived in an area with lots of snow can tell you, the plows don't care much where the snow goes as long as they push it off the road. A giant wall of snow at the end of your driveway? That's your problem. The road's clear now. As annoying as being plowed in (our out, as has happened to me at least twice this year) is, the bigger problem is that since we have no curbs, the snow also gets pushed up against where people's mailboxes are. As the snow piles higher and higher, and the plows push more and more snow in the general direction of the mailbox, ours could no longer take the strain and, as we discovered when some of the giant snow pile surrounding it melted, was only being held upright by the snow. It now lists to one side and back*, threatening to topple completely at any moment.

This of course, is also our problem and has resulted in multiple trips to Home Depot, first for the post kit, then a new "if we're doing this we might as well replace that too" mailbox, then for the mounting board, which is for some strange reason not included with either the post or mailbox. On one of these trips through the store, we came across this display.




At first, it simply added to frustration and anger on my part, but finally I realized that there isn't much that I can change about it, so I might as well laugh.

The sad part about this is that once we finally got all the pieces we need to replace it, it has started snowing again, so we are stuck having to wait.


*Do you have any idea how hard it was to resist a "back, and to the left" joke?

But I Don't Think Either of Us Barks in Our Sleep

You hear about how people look like their dogs all the time, but fortunately that isn't the case with us. We discovered, however, that rather than looking like our pets, our pets have adopted our sleeping habits. 

Chewie is a light sleeper who will wake up if he is even slightly disturbed, but if he's been sleeping for a while, he is very grumpy when he wakes up. If we leave the house, he naps in his crate until we come home and let him out. Then he goes stomping across the house, head down, until he gets to the door and goes outside. You can talk to him, but he won't even acknowledge anyone. 

Booker, on the other hand, sleeps very soundly, but once he's up, he's up. When he goes to sleep, nothing disturbs him. In fact, he sleeps so soundly that I sometimes touch his ear to make it twitch just to make sure he's responding at all. (Yes, it irritates him, but it makes me feel better.) Of course, if I wait long enough, he'll let us know he's just fine with a nice loud snore.

No, our dogs may not look like us, but one sleeps like me and one sleeps like Melissa. I'll leave the sorting out which one is which to you.

I'm Not Dead and Other Bits of Useless Information

Since you aren't all privy to all of the email, IM or other conversations I've had with some, but not all, of you, I figure I should post an update answering some of these questions.

Q: Yo, you dead?
A: No, despite my eating habits, I am still alive. The inactivity on this site is not the result of my departure from this life, but thank you for your concern.

Q: Have you given up your blog completely?
A: Are you kidding? I just forked over ten bucks to keep this snazzy URL. That would be like spending money on Netflix and never watching or returning your DVDs...You know what; let's move on.

Q: Are you going to post again?
A: What do you think you're reading now? Ok, maybe I shouldn't berate the few readers I have left. Will I post other things again? Yes. Will I post on a regular basis? Well, don't hold your breath for the 3-5 days a week stuff anymore.

Q: You haven't posted 3-5 days a week in a couple years, if ever.
A: That's not a question. Now shut up.

Q: Why aren't you posting anything?
A: Multiple reasons. First, I've had this blog for over 4 years now. I've only got so much to say, and there's only so much I am willing to discuss in a place like this that is quasi-anonymous and not remotely private. Second, my job has been getting more demanding as time goes on, and recently, I changed positions (sort of) making things even more demanding. This all means that I don't have much in the way of mental capacity to think of things to say. Rest assured, when I think of something to post about, you'll see it...assuming I have time to write and can write coherently.

Q: So, anything exciting going on in your life?
A: Not really, no. Unless you want to discuss lot release and need by dates, I'm a boring conversationalist.

Q: Have you at least seen any good movies recently?
A: Actually, yes. We went to see Coraline last weekend. If you haven't seen it, please do. It's great.

Q: What about TV?
A: The usual. Lost, BSG, Good Eats, etc. I did give up on Heroes part way through the first half of this season. It was so bad that I've cancelled the TiVo season pass for it. It could suddenly turn into the best show ever, and I'd never know. We did get an HD TiVo for ourselves for Christmas and have discovered that the ability to watch movies and old TV shows instantly using Netflix and TiVo is a great thing. We've watched lots of Alfred Hitchcock Presents that way.

Q: Read any good books?
A: Yes, I have. I have a soft spot for fantasy and I started reading Brandon Sanderson after hearing that he was going to be finishing The Wheel of Time. I've read Elantris and all three of the Mistborn books and recommend that fantasy lovers do the same. Now, in preparation for this fall's (scheduled) release of the last WoT novel, I'm rereading all of the Wheel of Time books. Of course, that's around 9000-10000 pages (or around 3 million words) of the same author, so we'll see how that goes.

Q: Some of these don't really sound like questions people have asked you.
A: Again, please put your submission in the form of a question.

Q: People didn't really ask you all this stuff, did they?
A: No, it was mostly the things about if I had quit or if I was ever posting again. It did give me a chance to have a conversation with myself and give updates on several things, though.

There you have it. You're now all up to date with my life. If you actually read this far, you have my thanks and my apologies. As a reward, feel free to throw out a topic for discussion. I'll probably ignore it, but you never know; you just might end up with a long-winded diatribe on it. I may be busy, but I'm still opinionated and wordy.

It's Hard Out Here For A Geek

Sometimes being a geek impacts how you see the world. You can see the exact same thing as other people, but have a completely different experience. A few of the more recent examples:

Watching a trailer for the new Star Trek movie.

Normal person: "Star Trek? Another one? How many is that? Ooh, explosions."

Geek: "Wait a minute! Are those Romulans? How are they going to spend the entire movie not letting any of the Federation people see them? No one knew what they looked like until "Balance of Terror" and that's supposed to be decades later. You can't make a prequel and completely ignore the canon of the series." 

Seeing a trailer for Watchmen

Normal person: "How many comic book movies can they make? What's with that blue guy, and is he not wearing any pants?"

Geek: "I'm glad they kept the 1985 with Nixon still as president setting for this. They better not screw it up though. I know the ending is kind of weird and might be hard to translate to film, but if they mess that up they might as well not have bothered making it. They always mess things up. It's no wonder Alan Moore won't even take their money or let them use his name any more. That reminds me, I need to go online and see if opening day tickets are on sale yet."

Seeing an ad for Mortal Kombat vs. D.C. Universe

Normal person: "A new game. I want it." or possibly "A new game? It's going to corrupt my babies. Now let's go watch 24."

Geek: "How can we play this game with Superman involved? Is there kryptonite in the game? No? Then I pick Superman. Therefore, the battle is already over. The winner? Me! Ha ha ha! Rematch? You lose again! Had enough? I thought so!"

Watching the trailer for The Day The Earth Stood Still

Normal person: "Keanu? Really? You must be kidding."

Geek: "Keanu? Really? You must be kidding."

An Open Letter to the Nest of Yellow Jackets in Our Yard

Dear Sirs and Madams,

I realize we got off to kind of a rough start. I was completely oblivious to your presence before running your nest over with the lawnmower. As soon as I realized what was happening I tried to move away and let you have your space. I would have taken the lawnmower with me, but you were swarming all over it and quite frankly I just can't deal with you when you're that mad (that's right, I could see you swarming from all the way in my house). I mean, really, how many hours did it take you to calm down? It wasn't until that night when you were finally ready to go to sleep that you were willing to let the whole thing go, and even then I'm not sure that you were really letting go as much as just too exhausted to swarm anymore. 

I know I upset you, but you really did take things too far. I got away as quickly as I could and tried to defuse the situation, but you just couldn't leave it at that, could you? Oh no; you had to get a parting shot in. Even though I was perfectly willing to just walk away, one of you hid in my pants or shoe and stung me on my ankle. You came into my home and hurt me. I might even be able to let this go if I were the only one involved. You hurt me, and maybe I deserved it, but I've also got Melissa and the boys to think about. So, I'm afraid that this has to be it for us. I want my stuff back, and I want my yard back. I'm sorry it came to this, but you left me no choice. I hope you don't mind all that poisonous foam that's filling your front door (and your entire nest, with any luck). No hard feelings; I just can't let you hurt me again.

I hope you die,

Craig

P.S. We just had a flood, why couldn't you just die then and save us both the trouble?

Take What You Can Get

Sometimes, my job irritates me. Sometimes, it irritates me a lot. Every once in a while, however, something small will happen that at least amuses me enough to help get through one of the bad days. It's things like being able to say, with all seriousness, "I had to go put on my tie so that I can look professional when the Byelorussians^* do their walk through."


^*Yes, I could say Belarusians, but phrasing it this way emphasizes the inherent absurdity of the whole thing.

WALL-E (and other movie-going things)

We went to see WALL-E last week, not long after returning from a trip to my parent's house. Before I got a chance to post about it, a thunderstorm knocked out our power and left us in the virtual dark ages sans lights, air conditioning and, most importantly, internet access.

I could tell you all about the movie and whether I liked it or not (I did), but let's face it: You can find a review of WALL-E anywhere and if you haven't seen it and don't plan to see it nothing I say will really make a difference.* What I can give you that no one else can is the remarkable story of some of the people with whom we shared a theater.

We had hurried to make sure we made it to the 11:00 showing, and by the time I bought our tickets (for the 11:30 show because I'm no dummy) and got in line at the concession stand it was around 10 after. Since we went to the movie early in the day and WALL-E was showing on three separate screens, the crowd was pretty sparse even though it was summer. There may have been 15 to 20 people in the entire theater, but that didn't bother me, I'd much rather have the place to myself than sit next to a stranger.** Most of the people were there with small children***, but our story will focus specifically on a woman who was there with (what I assume to be) her granddaughter.

They sat uneventfully through the movie, and were directly in front of us as we filed out. They tossed their trash into the waiting can rolled out by the employee who was waiting to clean the theater, and, following close behind, we did the same.

"Oh hang on," the grandmother said, digging through the trash, "I want to show them this."

She pulled out the cup for their Pepsi Freeze (a sort of slushy, partially frozen thing...kind of like a Squishee one might get at the Kwik E Mart) and proceeded over to concession stand. Needless to say, I was intrigued and fortunately since we had nothing to do but stand around while waiting for the third member of our party to extricate herself from her seat and actually leave the theater, we got to find out what was going on. It turned out that the frozen beverage had a piece of popcorn in it. "Wait," you might say, "a piece of popcorn? Inside the open cup? Like what might happen if one is eating popcorn in a dark room while holding a cup with a large opening?" And of course, that isn't at all what happened, since the people filling the cup clearly filled it about halfway, took it to the popcorn machine and dropped a piece in and then continued filling it. Fortunately, the people at the concession stand weren't nearly as judgemental as the rest of you, so they happily gave her a refill in her freshly recovered from the trash cup. As we stood, still waiting, the granddaughter came trotting back to the trash can and came away with their popcorn bucket, emptying it of the few remaining kernels.

"Did she just..."

"Oh yeah. She sent her back for the bucket."

"Are you sure she didn't just bring the bucket and dump it out.?"

"No she got it out of the trash."

"But it was in the trash."

"Yes, it was."

By the time we were finally ready to go, they were strolling out of the lobby and into the parking lot carrying a freshly refilled Freeze cup and bucket of popcorn. Which brings me to my question for all of you:

At what point does something officially become trash and become unsalvagable? Me, I think I share Jerry Seinfeld's opinion that adjacent to refuse is refuse and that eating it means you've crossed the line between man and bum, but I guess not everyone feels the same way. Obviously they didn't.



*To make it short: It was very good, just as one might expect from a Pixar movie. I wasn't sure how they'd pull off the sizable chunks of time in which it was all robots who really don't have much dialogue, but it worked quite well. It doesn't come close to being as wonderful as Ratatouille, but considering my feelings for that one, I think it's probably unfair for me to try to make that comparison. Also the short before WALL-E is probably my favorite one shown in front of any of the Pixar movies. Anyway, just go see it, you'll be glad.

**Or behind a stranger. Or in front of a stranger. Really, pretty much anywhere within a 5 seat zone of a stranger.

***Since there were actually three of us, one could argue that we also there to take a child to see it, but that would be rather impolite even if metaphorically accurate.

That's Famous Titles

As I mentioned in an earlier post, we went to Chicago recently. While we did visit family and eat at good restaurants, the reason for this visit (at least, the reason for going at this particular time) was because I was making a fool of myself trying to get on Jeopardy. Yeah, that's right, I still am holding on to that delusion.

I had mentioned previously that I had taken the online test and didn't figure it was good enough to go any further in the process. It wasn't, but after 12 months have passed, you can take the test again. I did, and this time either I did better than I realized or everyone else taking the test just sucked. (I prefer to assume the former.) I got an email back asking for me to come to an audition in person. I, of course, very quickly cleared my schedule (of nothing) and confirmed that I would be attending.


When I arrived for the audition, there were approximately twenty of us waiting for the earlier session to end. After completing our paperwork, and having our pictures taken (I did not want to have that picture taken, and yet if I got my way, I'd end up on TV...that really doesn't make sense, but I suppose I rarely do.), we went into the main room where we were introduced to the people who would be running the session. All of them were incredibly friendly and made us feel very comfortable. They briefly took us through some of the types of clues we should expect and gave us a chance to show that we knew how to answer them. Unlike when you were in school and getting someone to answer a question was next to impossible, the clue would not even be complete and an entire room full of Martin Princes were raising there hands saying, "Pick me teacher. I'm ever so smart!" Once we had this down, it was time for another test. We had all done well enough on the online test, but to narrow us down even further, there were 50 more questions and only 8 seconds to answer each one. After finishing the test, we went up in groups of three to play a very brief version of the actual game. After a few clues, they asked us questions about ourselves to see how we handled them and to see if we were so boring that people would fall asleep or change the channel if we make it to the show.

So, how did I do? Well, I think I did ok on the test and while playing, but let's face it if you're here reading this, you are pretty well aware that I'm a fairly boring individual and I don't have much I can say about myself that would be worth talking about on TV (which brings up a question: if you're aware of how boring I am, why are you still reading this?). Unfortunately, it doesn't matter how I feel I did because I don't get to make the decisions. At the moment, I know nothing and get to wait for 18 months to find out if I did well enough to be on the show or if I should just try the test again. I guess in the end it turns out that auditioning for Jeopardy is a lot like dating: There's a lot of waiting for the phone to ring, a lot of hoping that someone else thinks you are good enough, it's going to include a little humiliation and it's probably going to end in disappointment.

We'll Get Wild, Wild, Wild

This is a conversation I like to imagine happening around 1983 or so between the members of the band Quiet Riot.

Band Member: All right guys, this new single is gonna cement our place in rock history.

Rest of band: Yeah!

Band Member: Cum on Feel the Noize is going to be a song people rock to for a long time to come!

Rest of Band: Yeah!

Band Member: And in another 25 years, it will be used to advertise french fries!

Rest of Band: Yeah--Wha??

Topolobampo

We went to Chicago last weekend (more on the why later), and while we were there we went to eat at Topolobampo (one of the restaurants owned by Rick Bayless the host of Mexico: One Plate at a Time). We had eaten at Frontera a few years ago, but this was our first visit to the more "upscale" Topolobampo. The atmosphere, service and food were wonderful.

Here's a quick rundown of what we had. (Descriptions lifted from the online menu at the restaurant website and slightly blurry pictures taken in low light with a cameraphone.)

I started out with the Sopa Azteca (not pictured, because we didn't think to start taking pictures until our entrees arrived.): dark broth flavored with pasilla, with grilled chicken, avocado, Meadow Valley Farm hand-made Jack cheese, thick cream and crisp tortilla strips.

I can say without hyperbole that it was one of the best if not the best soup I have ever had.

I ordered the Puerco Pibil: achiote-marinated Maple Creek Farm pork two ways: grill-roasted loin and slow-cooked shoulder in banana leaves. Guero chile rajas, black barley, habanero-dressed "shoots" salad, pickled red onions.



while Melissa had the Langosta al Mojo de Ajo: pan-roasted Maine lobster with red chile mojo de ajo (olive oil-poached garlic). Giant butter beans, roasted fresh favas and "ancho crunch."



For dessert I can't simply steal the names and descriptions of what we had from the website because the dessert menu isn't online, so you're stuck with what I remember (which is certainly not the names since they were in Spanish).

My dessert was a chocolate-almond cake with caramel/cashew ice cream and Melissa's was a rhubarb tartlet with coconut ice cream.



When we left, we did see Rick Bayless in the restaurant talking with some friends, but decided not to get the cameraphone out to take an intrusive picture. We had a good time and enjoyed the food, and I personally really look forward to going to Frontera or Topolobampo again.

That's Infotainment!

I've learned a lot of things from watching infomercials over the years. They all rely on a simple marketing trick in which one takes a supposed situation which is a minor inconvenience at worst and presents it as a problem desperate for a solution. The original situation is shown along with the horrific consequences, then the new and glorious solution is shown with evidence that all consequences are gone. With that in mind, I'm going to let you in on a little secret. For years, Melissa and I have been discussing our great "As Seen on TV" idea and just how we would plan the infomercial.

Picture it: Sicily, 19...Wait. Sorry, I was reading from the wrong script.† Ok, let's try again.

Voiceover Guy: Has this ever happened to you? You settle in with your favorite drink and some Cheetos٭ in your chair in front of the TV. It's just you, your snacks and the game. You reach in, grab a handful of Cheetos and begin shoving them into your cavernous maw.

*We see our decidedly below-average Joe doing just that*

A few handfuls later, you wonder what's going on in the game on the other channel. You grab the remote, flip channels and, as you set it down, realize: Oh no! Everything is covered in Cheeto dust!

*Shot of remote with orange fingerprints.*

Frustrated, you look down at your hand and realize that what was once your hand is now encased in a Cheeto Glove.

*Shot of hand covered in more orange-colored, cheese-flavored coating than an entire bag of Cheetos could contain. *

Now your troubles are over thanks to this revolutionary new invention. No more reaching into the bag, only to come out with a disgusting mess.

*Clip of a woman reaching into a bag. She pulls her hand out, and it is covered in colored flavor dust from the bag. Close in on her face as she looks down at her hand, frowns and shakes her head in disgust.*

With our new patented SnackTongs!™ you get the all the flavor with none of the mess.

*Clip continues as the woman uses SnackTongs!™ to reach into the bag, pull out a single Cheeto and eat it. A face shot again as she looks at her clean hand, smiles and gives the camera a big "yes" head nod.*

That's right, your days of messy snacking are over. The revolutionary SnackTongs!™ can be yours for only 3 easy payments of $9.99‡. No more worries while eating Cheetos,

*Shot of a bag of Cheetos with a big red X over it.*

Doritos,

*Shot of a bag of Doritos with a big red X over it.*

Powdered Donuts,

*Shot of a bag of powdered donuts with a big red X over it.*

Mustard Flavored Pretzel Snacks,

*Shot of a bag of mustard flavored pretzels with a big red X over it.*

and so many other delicious snacks.

*Shot of all of the bags.*

Call or log on now and we'll double your order! That's 2 sets of SnackTongs!™, a $700.00 value, for only three easy payments of $9.99‡.

*Insert section with "inventor" discussing the importance of SnackTongs!™ and eating various fingerfoods with them in front of "studio audience."*

And if you call in the next 15 minutes, we'll knock off one of your payments! That's right. We're giving you two sets of the amazing SnackTongs!™ , worth over $800.00, for two, that's just two, low, low payments of $9.99‡. Don't miss out. Operators are standing by.

†Sorry. Those of you wanting to read my Golden Girls fanfic script will just have to wait for another time.

٭I realize that if we were to actually make this infomercial, we couldn't use Cheetos. We'd use a non-branded cheese flavored corn snack. If we tried to use Cheetos, Frito-Lay would sick Chester on us so fast we wouldn't know what hit us. Except that we would, because it was really fast, and therefore likely a cheetah.

‡Plus $349.99 Shipping and Handling. Offer not valid in Texas, Nebraska, Hawaii, Alaska, Iowa, New York, New Jersey, California, Rhode Island, Illinois, Michigan, Alabama, Tennessee, West Virginia, or outside of United States. Sorry Canadians, but you have to eat your mauve-colored Ketchup chips with your hands.

The Mini Shopping Cart

You may have noticed over the past few years that the grocery stores have become overrun with these.






This smaller version of the standard shopping cart seems to be have something to say on behalf of the person using it. "What do you take me for," it says, "some kind of full-cart-pushing consumerist?"

Note that this particular cart contains reusable bags, as if the shoppers are all prepared to go through the store carefully selecting their organic produce and handful of other items, which cannot possibly be placed into those wasteful plastic bags, before strolling back out to the parking lot and loading the groceries in their hybrid car. Wait a second...

Hmm...Have you ever thought it would be a good idea to poke fun at something and then realized that you're mocking your own life? Yeah, me either.<sup>*

*</sup>I guess my real point here is that looks can be deceiving...even when they are absolutely right.

Spring Sprang Sprung

Yesterday was the first day of Spring. It was nice and sunny with the temperature in the 40's. The last of the snow was just about melted (except in those pesky shady spots and places where it was piled up from plowing, but those won't melt until May). Today...well, I'll just let the National Weather Service tell you:

THE NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE IN GRAND RAPIDS HAS ISSUED A WINTER STORM
WARNING...WHICH IS IN EFFECT FROM 11 AM THIS MORNING TO 8 AM EDT SATURDAY. SNOW WILL BEGIN LATE THIS MORNING AND BECOME HEAVY DURING THE AFTERNOON. 2 TO 5 INCHES OF SNOW ACCUMULATION CAN BE EXPECTED BY EVENING. THE SNOW WILL CONTINUE OVERNIGHT WITH AN ADDITIONAL 4 TO 7 INCHES OF SNOW EXPECTED. THIS WILL BRING TOTAL STORM ACCUMULATION OF 6 TO 12 INCHES BY DAYBREAK SATURDAY. A BRISK NORTHEAST WIND OF 15 TO 25 MPH WILL CAUSE SOME BLOWING SNOW WHICH COULD CONTRIBUTE TO VISIBILITIES FREQUENTLY BELOW A MILE.

Unfortunately, judging by the way it looks outside, they aren't lying.

Now, if you'll excuse me I'm going to try to stop whining long enough to go look for job openings in Costa Rica.

What I Did Over Summer Winter Vacation

Since I haven't posted anything since last year (well, other than a picture of Ralph Wiggum), I decided that I needed to embrace my inner fifth grader for this post. Unfortunately, it turns out my inner fifth grader is even more verbose and more boring than I already am, so I've been forced to ignore many of the exciting things that have happened recently (trip to AL, wind storm tearing shingles from our roof, 15 or more inches of snow in less than 2 days) and reduce this post to the most important lesson we learned.


While travelling to and from my parents, we chose to break our driving up over two days and stop overnight around the halfway point. During one of our stops, we dined at the restaurant that had been voted "Best Mexican Food in Jackson County, IN" for several years in a row. The lesson for all of you out there: Do not eat Mexican food in Jackson County, IN.

(I wonder what happens if John Mellencamp wants to eat Mexican when he goes home.)

Well Played, Amazon.com

I was completely out of ideas for Christmas presents for Melissa this year, so I started browsing Amazon in the hopes that something would give me an idea. It turns out that Amazon has created all sorts of gift guides for different personalities and relationships. Everything from "The Dude" which, not surprisingly, suggests a copy of The Big Lebowski to "Grandpa" who based on these suggestions spends all his time shaving, checking his tire pressure and wondering what time it is.

While I knew that it was highly unlikely that I would find something appropriate in the "Girlfriend/Wife" section, I decided to go ahead while hoping that something would at least point me in a new direction. While I was amused by some of the suggestions that would have made for an awfully awkward gift opening on Christmas morning if a man gave them to his wife in front of her entire family, the one that really caught my eye was this entire section. Yes, that's right, Amazon suggests that if you need help finding a gift for your girlfriend/wife, you should try giving her an elliptical trainer. I'm not sure if this was supposed to be a suggestion for what to give your wife if you already happen to have a girlfriend, but I can't come up with a way that it would be a good idea to give a woman a gift that says "You could really use to lose a few pounds. Let's see if using this thing will help out the size of your butt. It's really looking big recently." While I was trying to figure out how this could have ended up as a suggestion, it finally hit me. If any man actually followed that suggestion, he would not only have purchased a fairly expensive elliptical trainer, but after the gift had been given, he would also be scrambling for a new gift that was not only suitable, but also was nice (read: expensive) enough to express just how sorry he really is about that whole misunderstanding. All in all, I think it's a very clever plan by Amazon, but I have to wonder how many people would actually fall into that trap.

Fortunately for me, Melissa came along to put me out of my misery and just told me what to get her.

Yeah, But You Are Aware That There's An Invention Called Television and on This Invention They Show Shows, Right?

I have no problem with people who do or don't watch TV. It's a personal choice and I can understand both view points. What I do not understand, however, is why people who do not watch television feel the need to announce it in the most condescending way possible. Take this exchange that happened at my work recently, during a meeting:

Person 1: Oh, I think I saw that on the news last night. Was that the same thing you were talking about?

Person 2: Well, I don't watch television, so I don't know.^*

Was "I don't know" or "I didn't see" not a good enough answer? Saying that served no purpose other than attempting to sound superior. In addition, answers like that almost always cause everyone else around them to start denying or trying to justify their own TV habits. Continuing the conversation above:

Person 1: Oh, yeah, I don't usually watch it either but it was on, and I happened to hear.

If the way you say things makes people feel like they need to really stretch the truth or make some sort of attempt to justify themselves, chances are no one really wants to continue conversing with you.

I don't understand why people do this. If someone tries to tell you a story about jogging, you don't brush them off by saying that you don't jog in a way the suggests that anyone who does may as well throw himself off a cliff, because he's pretty much useless anyway.

Look, if you don't watch TV, that's perfectly acceptable, and it's your option, but unless you're taking that time you would spend watching TV and using it to cure cancer or ensure that everyone in the world has both food and shelter, don't expect me to give you a medal for that choice. For that matter, curing the world of hunger, homelessness and cancer may grant you a pass on many things, but it doesn't allow you to be a pompous jerk.

^*I actually like person 2, but this exchange bothered me. . . and no, I was not person 1.

A Post About Nothing

I'm still running on empty here, so here are a bunch of things that have nothing to do with each other and aren't long enough to be a full post.

I started playing the game Guild Wars recently (about a month ago), and it's very fun and addictive. Once again, I can blame members of my family for getting me addicted to a game. It's a MMORPG much like WoW and Everquest, but without a monthly fee. In addition, the game uses instancing for many explorable areas, so I don't have to worry about you coming along and stealing the respawn I've been waiting for (or the other way around).

I'm very glad that most of the shows I enjoy watching are back, but I can't help feeling a little disappointed that Lost isn't starting yet. Every week, I get to the middle of the week and am completely worn out and think, "Oh but at least it's time for Lost...Oh, right. February."

Have any of you watched Kitchen Nightmares? I'm not a huge Gordon Ramsey fan, mostly because I'm not a big fan of verbal abuse, but this show is fairly interesting. Also, the people he verbally abuses in this show deserve it most of the time. At the end, things usually turn out well and people have a much nicer restaurant and thank him for what he did. There was one a couple weeks ago that still disturbs me, because of how bad the food was and how bad the pest problems at the restaurant were. *shudder* I saw an episode of the British version of his show on BBC America and was surprised that he seemed to be a completely different guy. No yelling and screaming, just talking firmly. I can't help wondering if this is him being two different characters on the two different shows (neither being necessarily who he is in real life) or if over time, his patience has worn thin enough that he just has to scream at people.

As an Alabama fan (which I have been for most of my life), watching games with John Parker Wilson at quarterback makes me long for the days of Brodie Croyle. It's not that JPW isn't talented, but at some point you have to stop making stupid mistakes and looking like it's your first game as a starter.

On the subject of college football, this article by Ivan Maisel was an excellent read and really showed how much of an impact being a fan can have on someone, even much later in life when they have no real connection to that team.

The other day, I put one of the quick dissolve Listerine strips in my mouth, only it didn't dissolve right away. It just sat there for a second, and then when I moved my tongue it decided to attach itself to the roof of my mouth. For the thirty seconds or so it took for it to dissolve, I looked like a dog with peanut butter stuck on the roof of its mouth. Cinnamon flavored peanut butter.

Speaking of dogs...As if we didn't have enough going on, our dogs decided to try to run around and play inside today. Chewie tried to get Booker to chase him, and when Booker took the bait, Chewie ran and launched himself up onto the couch to turn around and go running the other direction. Unfortunately, the couch in our living room sits under the window, so Chewie's backside smashed into the window, which is now in a million pieces (fortunately, the storm window was up at the time, so it was not broken and could be put down so there isn't a gaping hole allowing the outside to be inside). He's fine (his fur is so thick there was no way glass could get to him), but I'm not so sure about me.


That's all I've got. I'm obscenely busy at work, so I have no left over motivation or mental capacity. I'll try to keep writing something here, but if it's like this post, I'm not sure I see much point.

I Have The Power!

Well, we finally have power at the house again. After going through the fridge and freezers, it doesn't look like too much survived the past few days^*. That's ok, because I have a computer, internet access, tv, phones that can actually be charged, lights, and many, many other things which run on electricity. It doesn't matter if I am going to use them all or not, the important thing is that if I want to, I can.

^*And of course, since it was nature's fault and not that of the power company^**, replacing all the food that has been damaged is my responsibility not theirs.

^**Though, I would argue that the length of the outage is their fault. We saw two of their repair trucks go by today, and less than 30 minutes later, we had power. Why did I wait 3 days? I guess they don't owe any sort of service to us. It's not like we pay them way too much every month.

Still Around

It's starting to look like I'm deserting all of you, isn't it. It's not intentional; it's just how things are at the moment. I'm busy enough at work that when I do finally get home, I feel like I've just finished running a marathon⁽¹⁾, making it where I really don't have the energy to do anything about posting on here. In fact, anything I have posted in the past few weeks was actually written long before. So, what else has been going on with me recently? Let's see what I would have told you all about if I actually bothered to post:


Ratatouille - Saw it, loved it and highly recommend that you go see it.


Harry Potter - If you like all the other HP movies, you'll like this one. It's a little darker, and a lot more condensed, but I liked it better than #'s 2 and 4.


World Series of Pop Culture - Of course I'm watching the World Series of Pop Culture. How could I not? I love the show. I love playing along. I love laughing at Pat Kiernan, especially when he's reading lyrics. Unfortunately, the teams I want to win aren't always winning, but I'm still enjoying it.


Eureka - The second season of Eureka is on Sci Fi now, and we're watching again. It's a great summer show. It's light, clever, amusing, nothing requiring lots of thought, just fun.


Doctor Who - The third season just started on Sci Fi recently. I absolutely love that show, but I'm missing Rose this year. We're only a couple episodes in, so maybe Martha will start growing on me.

Made Butter - It's kind of a long story...you know what? This one really deserves it's own post. And it will get one. Until I bother to actually write it, here are pictures that Melissa posted over at her site. (oops, forgot the link)


Glass Studio - We went to the grand opening of a glass studio not too far from here. Actually, this needs t be its own post, too. I promise, these will actually be posted relatively soon.⁽²⁾


I won candy at work - I was in a training session recently where the trainer stopped a couple of times during the presentation to allow breaks. The breaks were first "stretch breaks", where everyone could stand and make sure that they did still have circulation in their legs. Following the stretch break was a mental break where we were asked to perform an activity completely unrelated to the training. During our second break, the activity was to write down as many Tom Hanks films as possible in 30 seconds. Getting 8 of them won me a mini Mr. Goodbar. Sadly, this may have been the highlight of my week.

⁽¹⁾ Obviously, this is an exaggeration. I would never run a marathon, but if I did what I would feel would be nothing, because I would have died long before mile 26.

⁽²⁾ Not that you really care.