February 26, 2006

I've Got 99 Problems, But A List Ain't One

I've come to realize that I'm one of the few bloggers who has not yet done the quasi-obligatory 100 Things About Me list. So, without further ado, more information than you will ever need to know about me.

  1. This list is going to take me forever. (I first started working on it January 26th, and I'm finally finished on February 26th.)
  2. I grew up in the South.
  3. And the Southwest.
  4. People are often surprised that I grew up in the South, because I don't really have a southern accent.
  5. I am left handed.
  6. Despite all the evidence to the contrary on this blog, I'm actually fairly shy and quiet.
  7. Until I get to know you, and I'm comfortable around you. Then you'll be lucky to get a word in edgewise.
  8. My biggest fear is that I'm not good enough.
  9. The "for ___" part doesn't matter.
  10. I no longer have a gall bladder.
  11. I broke my left arm in ninth grade.
  12. I damaged my knee after my junior year in high school and had to have surgery to repair it.
  13. I haven't severely injured myself in any way since then.
  14. Just like my father, you can send me to the store for milk and bread and I might or might not remember to get them, but I won't forget the ice cream.
  15. I enjoy having this blog, because it is almost the only creative outlet I have.
  16. But sometimes, I feel overwhelmed when I can't think of anything to post for a couple of days, and I think about quitting.
  17. I'm secretly afraid you are all making fun of me.
  18. I love movies, talking about movies, quoting movies and dreaming that I could one day create a movie.
  19. I love to eat, and because I like to know all about the things I enjoy, I like to cook.
  20. I really prefer baking to cooking, though, because cooking is more art and baking is more science.
  21. I love chocolate, but I tend to drive other people insane when I start rambling on about the technical details of it.
  22. I can easily become a bit too zealous and overcommit myself.
  23. I have some of the world's worst handwriting.
  24. I stink at keeping in touch with people. I'm not even good with remembering to call my own family.
  25. Knowing this about myself made it very hard for me recently when a good friend moved away.
  26. I love playing board games.
  27. I'm not competitive enough to care if I win.
  28. I do care if I'm not any good, though.
  29. This is by far the most personal post I've ever done.
  30. And I don't like that.
  31. I'm about 6'3".
  32. I have a hard time finding clothing because it is not often made for people of my proportions.
  33. I have to search or I'll end up with shirtsleeves that end well above my wrist.
  34. I'm very picky about my button-up shirts.
  35. I will not wear short-sleeved button-up dress shirts even when it's 90+ degrees outside.
  36. I also wear broadcloth shirts almost exclusively, because the weave of Oxford shirts really bothers me.
  37. I have an even harder time finding shoes.
  38. My feet are big, but I have narrow heels.
  39. When I buy athletic shoes, I have to buy size 15.
  40. I could never grow a beard.
  41. Even if I wanted to, I can never get growth beyond the Don Johnson Miami Vice stubble.
  42. That look doesn't work for me; I just look like a slob.
  43. When I accidentally got my hair cut too short, I looked like Bobby Hill.
  44. This has happened three times.
  45. One of these involved "repairing" a horrible haircut I received from a supposed professional, the other two were at home and involved the word "oops."
  46. I have degrees from New Mexico State University and the University of Illinois.
  47. I am obsessive-compulsive, but you probably knew that from my tag line and from many of the items on this list.
  48. I love to play video games. I may be almost 30, but I enjoy playing games on my computer and PS2.
  49. The Civilization and Age of Empires games are probably the best that I've ever played.
  50. Then again, there is also the EA Sports line of games.
  51. I would love to be on Jeopardy.
  52. But I'd probably humiliate myself.
  53. Maybe instead of being a contestant I'd rather take over Alex Trebeck's job.
  54. I also always wanted to be on Win Ben Stein's Money.
  55. But I would have ended up wearing the dunce hat they put on the people who phrase the answer in the form of a question.
  56. This list is all out of order and it really bothers me that it's not organized properly.
  57. But I'm writing things as they come to mind, so I'll probably leave it.
  58. I'll actually leave it because I'm lazy.
  59. I have two siblings, both sisters.
  60. They are both older than me.
  61. Yes, that makes me the baby of the family. Feel free to make whatever jokes you wish now.
  62. Since my sisters are both older than me, and also considerably more mature and adult-like I have 6 nieces/nephews (2 and 4, respectively).
  63. I have been an uncle since I was 12.
  64. This means that when I hear the ages of certain children of siblings, I feel very old.
  65. I once owned a pair of Converse All-Stars that were a nice bright blue.
  66. Turquoise, actually.
  67. Shut up, it was the eighties.
  68. The laces were fat and day-glo.
  69. Now that I think about it, I think they weren't really Converse, but a store brand replica. I'm really not sure, though.
  70. I was about 8. What do want from me?
  71. I was once told by a doctor that I have really narrow ear canals.
  72. I'm still not sure if I was being insulted, complimented or if she was just making an observation.
  73. I work for a gigantic, publicly traded company.
  74. I'm tired of being bought and sold like a side of beef.
  75. The benefits do help make up for it, though.
  76. On top of my monitor at work, I have a Homies figurine.
  77. It's figurine of Death (actually La Muerte).
  78. I keep him there to boost morale.
  79. I got it from a vending machine at the train station.
  80. I have owned 4 cars in my life.
  81. I never thought I would, but I once owned purple car.
  82. In other car related things I didn't ever think I'd have, I currently drive a car with a personalized license plate.
  83. The plate might as well be a giant sign that says, "Nerd on Board."
  84. I am a Libra.
  85. I am a dragon.
  86. I have been married since 1998.
  87. I live in the Kalamazoo, Michigan area.
  88. I wasn't really sure that Kalamazoo was an actual place until I came here for a job interview.
  89. I hate trying to explain my job to people.
  90. They just look at me like I'm sort of idiot and wonder why its necessary.
  91. I'm very displeased with the shape I am in currently.
  92. I need to lose a lot of weight.
  93. I actually lost quite a bit of weight a couple years ago, but I have since put most if not all of it back on.
  94. I've learned that self-loathing only works as motivation for losing weight once.
  95. The second time, it just makes me lose all motivation and feel like I might as well bulk up to 400 pounds.
  96. I could eat a lot of ice cream to get up to 400.
  97. And barbecue. (I am from the South remember)
  98. I use the initials CK for this blog, but despite what certain people have decided, I am neither Calvin Klein nor Craig Kilborn. (But I did like The Daily Show more when Craig Kilborn was the host.)
  99. Since we're on the subject of TV and I'm having a hard time get these list finished: Some of my favorite TV shows are Iron Chef, Lost, The Simpsons, Mythbusters and Good Eats.
  100. If you're having blog problems, I feel bad for you son. I got 99 problems, but a list ain't one. (...anymore)

6 comments:

Becki said...

Way to inspire CK. Maybe this'll actually encourage me to finally finish my own list. Or maybe it'll inspire me to sit around and count off the minuted until I'm off of work.

Agent 31 said...

Fine. You're Carol Kane.

This was quite informative - and you're right - the most personal post you've ever done. You're more revealing in comments than in posts.

MC Etcher said...

ha ha! great list. don't worry - we're all laughing with you.

Anita said...

I always thought that I was OCD AND lazy. I also thought those two things cancel each other out. Are you saying I can be OCD and lazy, too? That's great.

Great list, by the way. I want to go on Jeopardy, too. I'll audition if you will.

Matt said...

CK... great list. I've been wanting to do one of these myself, but I never can come up with more than 11.

A few things we have in common: 2, 4, 15 (sadly), 18, 19, 20 (very true, but I'd never put it into those words before; I just like the magic behind putting mush into the oven and getting golden and fluffy when it comes out), 26, 27 (my wife, however, is very competitive so we rarely play), 31 (just a hair over), 32, 33 (I hear you brother!), 37 (I'm a size 14), 47 (never diagnosed, but it's there), 48 (is it worse that I'm 33 years old and still love them?), 86, 97 (can't wait to get back to that southern style barbecue).

A few differences: I don't love chocolate, never owned a purple car, I'm the oldest in my family, and my company is privately owned (for the moment).

Anonymous said...

See, now you've inspired me to do one of these! Your list got me started...

10. I don't have a gallbladder, either! Woo hoo for no gallbladders!

11-12. In my junior year of high school, I split open my index finger in chemistry class (didn't follow directions about wetting the glass tube before jamming into the rubber stopper) and broke my ring finger when a friend kicked a soccer ball at the same time I went to grab it. In the same week.

18. I once dreamed an entire movie (starring Dennis Quaid). I woke up and started writing it down but never finished. I've since forgotten the ending, which I do remember was awesome.

20. I love to cook so much that I actually considered leaving education to pursue a culinary degree. But I'd have to work with meat, and that was the dealbreaker.

26-28. I have a gigantic collection of board games. My favorite is Balderdash.

31-32. I'm 5'2". I have a really hard time finding pants, because I'm high-waisted. Petite sizes are too short and regulars are too long. Besides, I'm too cheap to get regulars hemmed.

35. I knew there was a reason I liked you a lot.

45. I also knew there was a reason I liked MK, even though I don't even know her. She is a woman after my own heart. For more on this subject, read this: Thousand Dollar Haircut

47. I am a self-diagnosed obsessive compulsive. When I was a kid, I developed an elaborate counting game with my alarm clock.

48-49. You and Tony would be BFFs.

51-53. I took the online Jeopardy contestant test, and I fear I bombed miserably. On my list of things to do before I die, though, is to participate in some kind of television trivia show. Because it would be fun and I think I could win something. We tried out for the World Series of Pop Culture on VH-1 but bombed the written test in round one, which put our inflated egos about our knowledge of trivia directly in check. If you take over Alex Trebek's job, will you continue the trend of using a pompous accent when pronouncing foreign words?

65. Tony has a large collection of Chucks, most of which I bought for him, but he mostly wears the maroon ones. Turquoise Chucks with day-glo laces sound awesome. I admit, I would love for 80s fashion trends to return in full force.

76. Tony has a huge collection of Homies on his desk, too! He sets them up in little vignettes and we make up stories about them. Homies rule.

91. I hate the shape I am in, too, but then again, I have never liked my shape.

99. I love Iron Chef, Lost, The Simpsons and Good Eats, too. I've never seen Mythbusters. I also love The Amazing Race (we applied to be on), South Park, and infomercials.

Thus concludes the longest comment in the history of the world.