Trivial Tuesday

How about some Simpsons minutiae this week? When the Stamp Museum was being constructed near the Simpson's home, Homer lead a group of protesters in a chant of "Two, Four, Six, Eight. We hate stamps. They aren't great." Unfortunately, this cheer didn't go over too well, so he moved on to a second chant in which he accidentally revealed his PIN number to most of Springfield. What was his PIN?


2-4-6-8! We hate stamps! They aren't great!
7-4-3-1! Oh wait, that's my PIN number.
Congrats to Becki who apparently has plans to drain Homer's bank account.

The Fried Piper?

Our dogs love french fries. It's as if places like Burger King and McDonald's sell the world's greatest dog treats...at least according to Booker and Chewie. We try not to give them very many, but if we pick up fast food and bring it home at lunch time, we can pretty much assume that the begging will start when we get there and not end until the fries are gone. Chewie will sit next to one of us and be as cute as possible, while Booker will sit politely and repeatedly offer to shake in exchange for a fry.

They will get two or three fries each, and act as if this is the best thing that has ever happened to them. It turns out that the fries can also be a good incentive to get them to do what we want, too. Yesterday, Chewie didn't really want to go back into his crate so we could go back to work. (He seems to think, despite all evidence to the contrary, that he is trustworthy enough to be left out free in the house.) To encourage him to go, I grabbed a french fry for each dog and play the part of the Pied Piper. It worked wonderfully, and they both went right where they were supposed to in exchange for the fry. I just have to wonder if I might have taken it too far when I acted as if I were sprinkling holy water on Chewie with the fry while repeating, "The power of fries compels you." (cf. The Exorcist)

The Fount of Useless Information Overanalyzes Lyrics

Once again, it's time to prove that I spend way too much time thinking (obsessing) about things.

On our lyrical autopsy table today: Young MC's classic "Bust a Move."

I'm not going to go through the whole song, but instead I want to focus on one particular portion of the song that has bothered me for many, many years.

"Your best friend Harry has a brother Larry,
In five days from now, he's gonna marry,
He's hoping you can make it there if you can,
Cause in the ceremony, you'll be the best man."

Here's my problem: Who's getting married? Is it Larry, brother to your best friend? If so, why are you the best man? You're neither his brother nor his best friend. It woud certainly be more logical if you were the best man to your best friend Harry. However, if Harry is getting married, and you are his best man, why do we care about his brother Larry?

It's been almost 20 years, and there is no definitive answer for this. Personally, I believe it is one of the great literary mysteries of our time.

----

By the way, also bothering me: The song states that at the wedding a bridesmaid thinks that you are winking and winks back. When the video was made, the bride winks back and runs away with the main character. Did the director not actually listen to the song, or did he simply believe we wouldn't notice.

Trivial Tuedsay

The trailer for Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End hit the net recently. The film due out this summer reunites the cast from the previous films, including Bill Nighy as Davy Jones and KeiraKnightley as Elizabeth Swann. Before Nighy joined the cast in the second film, he and Knightley had appeared in another film together. What 2003 romantic comedy about intersecting stories starred both of them?

Anything You Write Can and Will Be Held Against You In a Court of Grammar

I've realized something recently. I have become a grammar cop. I didn't intend for this to happen. I don't even know how it happened. All I know (other than that for me to correct grammar is somewhat hypocritical) is that as I have been reviewing more and more documents for other people at work, I have started breaking out the red pen and going to town.

Sure, I can catch most of the major mistakes, but there are some things that just jump out at me-- My grammatical pet peeves, if you will.

In my work, the word streak is often used as a verb. This is perfectly acceptable until people start trying to speak in the past tense. I spend a great deal of time arguing that the past tense and past participle of streak is, in fact, streaked and not struck, which would imply some sort of violence in the workplace.

The one that bothers me the most (for no reason other than it does) is the confusion over insure and ensure. Insure is what Geico does. Ensure means to make sure. This sometimes carries over to the use of assure, but that's not as much of a problem.

Why do these bug me more than anything else? I have no idea, but be careful in your comments, or I might break out the red pen on here too.

Take 5

Ms. Q... Trixie... She of the ever-changing name and site posted a meme recently in which she answered 5 questions that someone asked her. In addition to this, she graciously sent along 5 questions for me to answer. Being the industrious lazy person that I am, I immediately complained that they were too hard and would require me to think. Nevertheless, I have come up with answers to them and will post them for your reading enjoyment time wasting.

1. If you could trade your mad trivia skills for another skill that you currently do not possess, would you? If so what might that skill be?

First of all, please notice that she is starting off by recognizing my skills. Other readers/commenters, please take note.

I wonder, does this skill have to be real? Can I make things appear out of thin air (like money)? I guess that would be a superpower not a skill, so I'll stick to real things.

Would I give up my trivial ability for another ability? I have to say probably not, because it is part of what defines me as me. If I had to and was able to choose my replacement skill, it would probably be writing. I have always wanted to be able to write creatively and take people to different places and times with my words. Instead, I'm stuck with bad jokes and pop culture references. But hey, it got you here reading this.

2. If you could only eat one kind of food for the rest of your life, what would it be?

Oh, wow. Do you know how painful this question is for me? Off the top of my head I can think of 10 different things that I would want (actually, I had to eliminate and combine some of them to get it to only 10). In fact, let's list them, rank them and give some reasons why. In descending order, which I reserve the right to revise at any point depending on my mood:

• Chocolate: Really, it's chocolate, so I shouldn't have to explain this. The down side is that eating only chocolate would be kind of difficult after a while, so it can't go higher on the list.
• Potatoes: Ok, they aren't really that exceptional on their own, but they are quite versatile. You can start off with baked potatoes and after that, there are all sorts of options: Boil 'em, mash 'em, put 'em in a stew.
• Cookies: I decided to only include one dessert baked good, and it was a tough choice.
• Mexican food: I know this is not "one food," but this is my blog, so I say it's acceptable and there's nothing you can do about it.
• Steak: Mmm...beef
• Ice Cream: The only problem here is that if it gets really cold, I may not be in the mood for ice cream. (Ok, to most of you that may seem reasonable, but to anyone who is around me much, that's the funniest thing I've ever written, because I'm always in the mood for ice cream.)
• Barbecued Pork: Whether it's ribs or pulled pork, I love it and could easily eat it all the time. Besides, with all the different types, it would take a while to get bored.
• Bread: While man cannot live by bread alone, I'm not so sure this man could live without bread.
• Broccoli: Ok, this is a complete lie. I just wanted to put some sort of vegetable up here toward the top of the list.
• Cheese: How can you not love cheese? Cheeses cover a wide range of flavors, both sweet and savory. Combine that with the myriad of styles, textures and other options and cheese is not only delicious but never boring.

3. Here's an oldie but goodie! The Five People (Dead/Alive/Real/Fictitious) you would invite to dinner. Please elaborate on your answers.

All right, I'm going to skip over the obvious cop out answers here and not use anyone I could possibly actually have dinner with (wife, family, friends, etc.), because it will make this more interesting and probably a lot more like the intent of the question. Like my answer(s) for food, I reserve the right to change my mind completely at any point.

At first, I had a problem getting a full 5 on the list, but once I got going, I had a hard time limiting it to 5 people, so I'm going to stick with mostly pop culture-ish people so that the list doesn't get out of control too quickly.

• Damon Lindelof or Carlton Cuse, because I could try to bribe them and if that didn't work, I'd resort to threatening (i.e. withholding dessert) to get them to tell me all about what's going on on Lost.

• Alton Brown, because he's a nerd like me, he loves food, and his shows are full of more pop culture references than my blog posts (and that's a lot).

• Akira Kurosawa, because like him, I make mad films. Okay, I don't make films, but if I did, they'd have a samurai.

• The Brain (of "Pinky and the..." fame), because how cool would it be to meet a genetically altered mouse who is trying to take over the world?

• Sergio Leone, because we can have an interesting discussion on the Revisionist Western as the modern equivalent of the morality play. Also, we can talk with Kurosawa about what he thought of Leone remaking Yojimbo as A Fistfull of Dollars and share a laugh at the expense of the Bruce Willis remake, Last Man Standing.

• Just missing the cut: Matt Groening, Clint Eastwood, Rick Bayless (wait, are these guests or can I have one of them make the food, because if that's the case, Rick is so in), George Lucas, Malcolm Gladwell (I can't imagine a boring conversation with him, maybe I should bump him up to the top 5), Chow Yun Fat (circa 1989), Bill Cosby...ok, I've got to stop.

4. If watching TV paid as well as being a microbiologist, would you switch careers?

It's tempting to say, "Yes, absolutely," but no matter what you do for a living, it is still work. I'm going to say no for two reasons: (1) If I watched TV as a career, it would stop being something to do for enjoyment. Everything I see would be critiqued and written about even if it were only in my head. (2) While I can argue the other side of this and even agree with that argument, I would not feel that I am contributing anything. In my current job, I can feel (deluding myself or not) that I am doing something that is in some way useful.

5. Do you drive the same way to work every day or do you take alternate routes? (I take different ones almost every day. I like to mix it up!)

I live less than 2 miles from work, so I don't have much opportunity to change things. I tend to have two routes that I take. One takes me by Melissa's work, so that I can drop her off, and the other, which I use on days she has off, goes directly to my work. In all honesty, even if the trip to work was longer and there were multiple ways to go, I'd still take the same route all the time. I'm just boring like that.

In Like a Lion, Out Like a Lamb, With An Indentity Crisis In-Between

Remember how I told you that it was 70 degrees on Tuesday afternoon? It was so gorgeous outside. Unfortunately, this is what greeted me this morning, less than 48 hours later, when I went to let the dogs out.



On a related note, despite the fact that we had several 50-60 degree days and one 70+ day, I noticed that the lake near where Melissa works is still completely covered in ice. I'm not sure how thick or how strong the ice is anymore, but it still goes all the way across.

We're All Self Conscious, I'm Just The First To Admit It

We all have our little quirks. Some of us, admittedly, have a few more than others. The real problem is when these idiosyncrasies begin to interfere with our daily lives. There are some things that most people take for granted as just part of life, part of the everyday, that end up becoming problems for a select few.

Take me, for example. I'm a fairly logical person in most situations, yes I'm a little shy when it comes to dealing with people I don't know well, but I'm getting better about that. (and no, this blog does not count when I'm talking about that, because I am safe behind my very thin wall of pseudo-anonymity, which makes me feel better even though I know it's a farce.) The big problem for me is the telephone^*. I cannot stand talking on the phone. When I say that I can't stand it, I mean that I will avoid it if at all possible. I cannot and will not talk on the phone with another person in the room. Even if I'm ordering a pizza, I have to be alone and it takes a good bit of effort to make the call. If I am calling for anything beyond ordering food (i.e. any sort of real conversation), it may take me a good five minutes to work up to being able to dial the number. (The bottom line here, email me instead.) I have no idea why this is such an issue for me, but it is. This may be just a normal everyday thing for everyone else, and it may even be enjoyable for many people, but for me it is almost impossible.

So, what about you? Are there any sort of normal everyday things that are just part of life that you absolutely dread? Or am I the only one that's completely messed up?

^*For some reason, this, like many of my weird issues, does not seem to apply to work. I can be completely confident and can even carry on normal conversations over the phone at work. I wish I knew what the difference was, because it might be useful.

Trivial Tuesday

Today's question could go either way. Some people will look at it and think it is absolutely the easiest question ever written, while other people will read it and have no clue. (The real question is whether I know which of you are which.)

Let's go with a bit of musical trivia: The performance of what dance would require me to "limp to the side like my leg was broken"?

Today Was A Good Day

All things considered, this has been a pretty good day.

It's 70 degrees outside and has been in the 50's for several days (though as of this morning at least two-thirds of the back yard was still covered with snow, and it is going to snow again his weekend).

Even better, we finally got our car back. Based on the return of the rental car today (which was a Kia Rio at the end, because the Chevy Aveo began to sound like it was going to explode, causing us to return it for a new car), we were without our car for 26 days. It looks great and even has that new car smell again.

Now That's Mad Cow Disease

Once, many years ago, I was out to eat with a bunch of guys, and one of them began to complain about the price of a steak he had ordered. "For that much, they better give me the whole cow...and the chicken it ate." We informed him that (1) the price wasn't that out of line and (2) the cow would not have eaten a chicken. We decided not to even bother with explaining why he wouldn't want the chicken if the cow had eaten it, but instead proceeded to make fun of him for the rest of the night.

It wasn't a good night for him. We also gave him a hard time when he asked about braille, and upon being told that it was how blind people read, insisted, "Man, stop lying. Blind people can't read."

So, imagine my surprise, all these years later, when I read this article. It turns out that if you have the right cow, you really could ask for the cow and the chicken it ate. Maybe I should go back and reevaluate my stance on whether or not blind people can read, too.

Fall Forward, Spring Back

I've always loathed the idea of Daylight Saving Time. I loathe it more than ever now that we have decided to change the start and end times with the (incredibly faulty and horribly illogical^*) claim that it will conserve energy.

One of the best things I've ever heard about Daylight Saving Time was found at a webexhibits.org exhibit and was originally from a quote by Robertson Davies:

At the back of the Daylight Saving scheme I detect the bony, blue-fingered hand of Puritanism, eager to push people into bed earlier, and get them up earlier, to make them healthy, wealthy and wise in spite of themselves.

I think of that quote every year when it's time to change the clocks, and it never ceases to amuse me.

^*Doubting that the claim is wrong? Check out this article where someone actually collected data on it. Oh, and yes, I know my title is backwards.

On TiVo and Media Center PCs

Ok, I have both a Media Center PC and TiVo, and I love them both. I love being able to watch things later or pause if I decide that, yes, I would like some popcorn, thank you very much. TiVo recently released a new version of TiVo Desktop, which allows you to send shows from your TiVo drive to your PC drive, as well as photos music and videos from your PC to TiVo.

My question is this: Can you transfer shows recorded on Media Center to the TiVo, and has anyone out there gotten this to work (have you gotten it to work for any videos for that matter)? I've got a ton of catching up to do on Battlestar Galactica and I'd prefer to watch on the TV rather than my monitor. I suppose if all else fails, I can burn to DVDs, but that might get expensive.

Trivial Tuesday

Oh yeah, I'm supposed to be posting a question. I got nothing. Let's make this simple and quick.

What is measured on the Fujita scale? (Technically, it's what was measured on the Fujita scale, because starting in February of this year, it was replaced with the Enhanced Fujita Scale.)

Congrats to Invisible Lizard, who knew that the answer was tornadoes.

Friends, Romans, Countrymen, Lend Me Your Ears

Does that line make you think of Cary Elwes in Robin Hood: Men in Tights? That's what I always think of. Sadly, that scene is also what I thought of when I read this article this morning.

Yeah, how does a company whose job is to deliver packages get things this messed up? For that matter, what do you do when DHL delivers a table, a liver and part of a head to you? I guess calling the police is the best way to start. At least they know that these are specially preserved remains that were for educational purposes rather than anything else, but it's still not ok to have these delivered to your home.

The worst part is that they don't know exactly what happened or how, so there may be more people out there who will end up with some weird deliveries.

An Open Letter to Cherry Coke Zero

Dear new cherry flavored Coca-Cola Zero,

I realize that you haven't been around for long. I realize that you may not even know who I am. I have to say this anyway. I love you.

No, really, I do.


I love you like a fat kid loves cake.

Or, more precisely, I love you like a morbidly obese adult who has just entered his thirties loves a tasty zero calorie caffeinated beverage.

To recap it in a slightly clearer version, in the words of David Cassidy in fact while he was still with the Partridge Family, "I think I love you."^*

Thirstily,

Craig



P.S. Sorry about the Hugh Grant thing up there.



^*So what am I so afraid of? Oh, right, it's the massive amounts of caffeine and other chemicals I'm ingesting. Oh well.

Makes Me Wonder How The Smell From A Grill Can Spark Up Nostalgia

Perhaps His Royal Highness, The Fresh Prince, was on to something when he indicated the link between olfactory sensations and memory back in his Grammy award winning 1991 song, Summertime. It's known that certain areas of the brain which receive signals when you smell something are also areas involved in memory. It's amazing to me that a smell can easily remind you of another place, another time. Even if the memory itself is no longer crisp, a smell can bring you back.

Recently, I got into our rental car and something about the smell of that car made me think about riding in my grandparents' car when I was a kid. I'm not sure what it was, but it started me thinking about how smells will mean different things to different people. They may recognize it as the same thing, but the memories associated with it are completely different.

For example: The smell of apples should mean Fall, and it does, but when I smell apples strongly I remember entering (what I think is) a store as a child. The store smelled of apples so strongly that it is automatically the first thing to come to mind. It was Fall and apparently near Halloween, because I remember a cackling witch that was there as part of the decorations. I remember essentially nothing else, but this is what I think of almost every time.

It's strange isn't it. You probably have similar things of your own. Even if you can't think of them now, they will come to you when those certain smells are there. We humans are very weird creatures.