Well, we've pretty much covered most of the Fount of Useless Information Exercise Program, but we have to look at the subject of motivation. If you're going to get into shape you have to have something to keep you going. Invisible Lizard came up with a pretty good idea today, and he's not too far off the mark for Part 3 of our program. (If you need a refresher, here are Parts 1 and 2.)
1. After repeatedly determining that you will "start tomorrow", realize that you need some sort of motivation to make yourself exercise.
1.1. Be impressed with yourself for still being able to say you will start tomorrow with a straight face, even after all this time.
2. Go to your local library and select an enjoyable sounding audiobook. Books on CD are preferable to tapes, as tapes will complicate the process.
3. Return home and place the audiobook CD into the CD-ROM drive of your computer.
4. Rip the audiobook and save as MP3 files.
5. Place MP3's of book on the hard drive of iPod or other portable music device.
6. Rid yourself of distractions: television, dog, significant other, etc.
7. Attach iPod (or other suitable device) to clothing, armband or lanyard to stabilize.
7.1. Attach earphones to iPod (or other suitable device) and place buds of earphones into your ears.
7.2. Set MP3 player to play audiobook.
7.3. Press play.
8. Utilize elliptical walking machine according to owner's manual.
9. Enjoy exercising while rewarding yourself with listening to an audiobook.1
10. When the book is complete return the CDs to the library.
10.1. While at the library, fill out the questionnaire on audiobooks, making sure to mark the box by MP3 for preferred future choice for Talking Books.
10.2. Remove and discard MP3 files of audiobook, taking with them the overwhelming guilt that would come from keeping a copy of the audiobook.
11. Rinse. Lather. Repeat.
There you have it my friends. There is a way to get motivation, all you have to do is find yours. All you have to do now is implement the plan. I, unfortunately, tend to get stuck at the end of step 7 of Part 3, with only occasional ventures into step 8 territory. I've really got Part 1 and Part 2 down though.
Until later...
1 This method also works with Playstation 2 gameplay as motivation, a method employed by The Fount of Useless Information in the past. A few notes on this variation must be made.
A. Controllers must reach from the PS2 to the elliptical without significant stretching.
B. Even if the controllers reach without any problems, you must be careful to avoid getting the cords of the controllers entangled in and moving parts.
C. A suitable game must be used. The Fount personally recommends any in the EA Sports NCAA Football series.
D. As both hands are occupied utilizing a controller rather than using the handles of the elliptical trainer, balance is key. While moving your body will not help your players avoid getting tackled in the game, it may make you fall off of the elliptical trainer, possibly causing injury or, worse, humiliation.
July 15, 2005
The Fount of Useless Information Exercise Program (Part 3)
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1 comment:
I just finished Harvey. I hadn't seen it in years, and I'd forgotten how much I like that movie. One line, in particular, and I'll paraphrase: "My mother used to say to me, In this world, Elwood, you must be oh so smart or oh so pleasant. Well, for years I was smart. I recommend pleasant."
This has little to do with what you've been saying, but I heard that line and needed to put it somewhere, and since I was on the elliptical at the time, I figured this was as good a place as any.
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