1. Decide to go for a walk/run outside.
2. Determine if the weather is appropriate for outdoor activity.
2.1. If outdoor temperature is greater than 90 degrees1 or greater than 80 degrees1 with a relative humidity greater than 50%, wait for a better day.
2.2. If outdoor temperature is less than 65 degrees1, wait for a better day.
2.3. If wind speeds are greater than 8 mph2, wait for a better day.
2.4. If chance of precipitation is greater than 60%, wait for a better day.
3. If weather is acceptable for outdoor activity, go outside and prepare for activity.
4. Realize that outdoor activity will allow neighbors to see you, exposing you to all forms of scorn and ridicule, both real and imagined.
5. Retreat to the relative safety of your home.
If you follow this plan, you should be in top physical shape in no time.
Until later...
1Approximately 32, 27 and 18 degrees, respectively for the more metrically inclined of my readers.
2Approximately 13 kph, again for those of you who have not yet converted from the metric system to infinitely more logical US Customary/Imperial Units.
6 comments:
Oh man, that's funny. I hear you, brother. My New Year's resolution was to get healthier. Nearly every day for 5 months I had that same exchange in my head. I even added the following:
4.1. Question the possibility of walking/running at 4am to avoid said scrutiny.
4.2. Return to reality.
So I bought an elliptical, and now I can be both cowardly and slightly more fit.
As always, you seem to already know the direction I am heading. You have hit on exactly why this post is Part 1.
CK forgot to mention that we have had an elliptical for almost 5 years. My reasoning for not using that more than once every few months (this spurned on by guilt that is is sitting in the livingroom holding clothes) is that it "bothers the dog". In reality, we are both just shamefully lazy.
Hee. I can't even bring myself to walk outside to my car in order to go to the gym. I figure that in 113 degree weather I'm sweating my weight off.
First, what is it with you people and wanting to get into the second part of the series before I get there. Patience people, patience.
Aurora, You at least didn't infringe on my second post, but the gym? Have you seen how many people are at the gym? Really, I just can't imagine...{shudder}
Generally I don't care about other people seeing me. I look like a jerk most of the time so it's not a change for me to make an ass of myself in public.
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