May 03, 2005

Idol Hands Are The Devil's Workshop

With all of the hype surrounding ABC's expose tomorrow night, I had to revisit the subject of American Idol. I have not watched the show (save for either flipping past or switching to Fox a few minutes early and catching the end) since my initial confessions post. Not watching, does not, however, mean that I have been paying so little attention that I don't know what is going on, thanks in no small part to a local radio station's insistence on recapping each week during their morning show.

Last week, Constantine, the "rocker", was booted, sending shockwaves through the audience, contestants and judges. Paula Abdul was reduced to tears, saying "Constantine...I am shocked. I just lerful snerful. They adxded woarthding," before degenerating into complete hysterics and preventing even every third word from being intelligible. The ouster of Constantine raised many questions for me.

Was anyone that shocked? He was horrible. The vocals on his rendition of Nickelback's "How You Remind Me" were at least 100 times worse than the original, and (in case this has escaped your notice) Chad Kroeger is not exactly Pavarotti.

If he was as hardcore rock as he claimed to be, what was he doing on American Idol? I asked the same thing before about several other supposed "rockers" as well as season one's "punk" princess Ryan Starr. (Because everyone who is truly punk wants to be on a pop music show and then go on to do ads for Old Navy.) Advice for all current or future Idol contestants: Singing covers of rock songs does not mean that you rock.

Did his parents really love the Hellblazer comics or were they just fans of Roman emperors who offered deathbed conversions?

Most importantly, it also made questions Paula's histrionics. Was this truly the "nice" judge overcome with emotion after seeing a contestant leave too early, or perhaps was it something more? After all, this is part of the bombshell ABC intends to drop on us all: According to ABC, Paula had an affair with allegedly abusive (to his sibling not Paula) and arguably tone-deaf contestant Corey Clark. You can read more about this situation here and (please forgive me, this may be worse than when I linked to Britney) also here.

Allow me to give you a quote from the ABC news article about the special (emphasis mine):

Clark, then 22, said that during the competition he had an off camera relationship with Abdul, then 40, which was at first platonic but later became sexual. He said Abdul, who was herself a chart-topping singer in the late 1980s, initially told him, "I want to look out after you like I'm your mom." He said Abdul then quickly changed her mind and said, "Well, maybe more like your special friend."


In conclusion, I think I speak for all of us when I say, "Ewwwwwwwwwww!" It seems that idle or Idol hands are indeed the devil's workshop.

Until later...

1 comment:

Mistrmind said...

I think ALL the contestants suck an couldn't carry a tune if you gave them a bucket.

Constantine sucked, and I for one would never buy his CD of other people's hits let alone buy Bo Bice's CD or that Pig-man Scott Savol.

Here's a name from the past: Just Guarini. Where is he? Where's his hot new CD?

Yeah...thought so.