Speaking of Being Stuck at Sea...

Last night was the season finale of Lost. For those of you who haven't seen the final episode yet, didn't watch during the season but plan to watch on DVD, or live in a country where Lost hasn't started yet: Don't read this if you want to stay spoiler-free; there will be plenty of spoilers in this post. If you don't watch the show and don't plan to, feel free to read, but realize that you'll probably grow bored with me even more quickly than normal. And if you watched the season finale of American Idol instead of Lost, please seek psychiatric help immediately.

Recap:
The show focused on three major areas on the island (or close to the island): 1) The Hatch 2) TurnipHead and 3) The Raft.

1) The Hatch

Jack, Locke, Kate, Hurley and Arzt/Artz had been lead into the Dark Territory by Danielle to find the Black Rock and the dynamite stored inside. Danielle immediately and rather suspiciously deserted them as soon as they found the boat, but not before delivering one of the best lines of the season. When Hurley questioned how a pirate ship ended up several miles inland, Danielle replied, "Are you living on the same island I am?" Even the crazy lady knows this place is messed up.

The Lostaways retrieved the dynamite only to have the know-it-all Redshirt, Arzt blow himself up while explaining how to properly handle the explosives.

The monster (or something) attacked Locke and dragged him to a hole. While everyone else tried to free him, Locke begged them to let him go, insisting that he would be fine. They refused and tossed some dynamite down the hole instead.

After preparing to blow up the hatch, Jack pointed out to Kate that Locke was nuts and would potentially be a problem in the future.

Just before the hath was blown, Hurley noticed The Numbers on the side. He freaked and insisted that blowing up the hatch was a bad idea. Rather than trying to figure out why one of his companions was suddenly hysterical, Locke lit the fuse and blew the door to the hatch.

Finally, we see what is inside the hatch, and it is...a very, very, very long ladder leading down to a point where we can no longer see.

2) TurnipHead

Everyone is preparing to go to the caves as a temporary hiding place from the others until the hatch is opened.

Claire is trying to pack, but is panicked because she has a new baby and is still convinced that someone other than the dingos is going to take her baby.

Charlie begs Sayid for one of the guns to protect Claire and the as yet unnamed TurnipHead, but Sayid refuses on the grounds that the last time he touched a gun, Charlie emptied a clip into the only person who might be able to give them useful information.

Once Sayid has left to help others move toward the caves, Danielle shows up frantically asking Charlie and Claire to find him. When Charlie runs off to find Sayid, Claire sees scratches on Danielle's arm and has a brief flashback to a time around her kidnapping when she gave Danielle those scratches.

The next time we see Claire she is bleeding from a head wound and sans TH. It appears the French Chick is even more of a nut job than we realized.

Sayid and Charlie get guns and prepare to go after Danielle. Claire begs to go with them, but they refuse. She then begs Charlie to bring Aaron back...and thus TurnipHead was named.

As they chase Danielle, wouldn't you just know that Sayid and everyone's favorite heroin-addicted Catholic hobbit come across the plane containing a heroin conveniently packaged inside of statues of the Virgin. Who could resist the siren's song of drugs prepackaged with guilt? Apparently not Charlie.

They reach the origin of the black smoke (the sign that the "Others" are coming), but find the area deserted. Danielle and the baby are there as well, and she is distraught to find that the Others were not there. It seems that in her complete insanity, she decided it would be a good idea to try to trade them a new baby for the one they stole from her 16 (or so) years ago. She was convinced they would be there because she heard them whispering that they were going to take the boy. 'Cause, you know there's only one of those on the island...D'Oh!!

3) The Raft

Michael, Walt, Jin and Sawyer float along out to sea as if they actually have some reasonable chance of ever being found. As they travel, Sawyer reads all of the messages put into the bottle for families back home. One woman misses her family even though Sawyer knows she spends her island nights with Scott, or is it Steve? He is particularly perplexed when he comes upon a message from Hugo that says he's leaving 160 million dollars to his mom. If only Sawyer were privy to the flashbacks the rest of us see.

The rudder of the makeshift raft detaches and Sawyer leaps into the water to retrieve it. After a few tense moments, he manages to grab it and return to the boat. When is back onboard, Michael hands him his shirt and makes it apparent that he saw the gun Sawyer was given by Jack, "just in case." I'm not sure if he was angry, or if he understood and just didn't want the boy to see.

Michael and Jin have a conversation about the hooked on phonics program Sun developed for Jin. It seems he has learned to say several nautical terms and "eat." At least he has the basics.

Michael and Sawyer talk about child rearing tactics, and Sawyer reveals that his father shot himself when Sawyer was eight. Michael asks if that is why he wants to die, because the only reason to be on the raft was because he wanted to be a hero or he wanted to die. "I sure ain't no hero."

Turning the radar on one more time, the Craphole Island ex-pats find that they are picking up something. After arguing about whether to fire the one flare, they shoot it off and see the blip on the radar approach.

It's a ship! They're saved! Or not. The occupants of the boat, who seem to be going for a Gorton's fisherman meets Deliverance kind of thing, declare that they want Walt. Sawyer pulls the gun, but gets shot first. Jin and Michael are knocked into the water, and the Walt-nappers (the Others, I am assuming) escape with the kid, but not before tossing a homemade bomb onto the raft, leaving Michael, Jin and Sawyer (assuming he's not dead or attracting sharks with his blood) 15 miles away from the island with all summer to think about what they've done.

Thoughts and Theories:

Did we receive as many answers as I would have liked? No, not at all. Was I happy anyway? Absolutely. I felt that the episode was a great finale that help us understand more things about what was going on without revealing the big mysteries. We understand more about Danielle than ever before. We have seen the Others. We know that the hatch actually can be opened, leads somewhere and isn't a giant septic tank (which was my personal pet theory). Most importantly, we know that Arzt is explosive.

Then we were left with several new questions: Were those people the Others? (I think so.) Where were they taking Walt? (Safety? Disneyland? To use his special powers for evil? For other "let's try not to think about that" purposes?) Was that a woman on that boat? If so, could it be Alex, stolen daughter of insanity? (Yep to the first, and it wouldn't surprise me to the second.) Was Danielle involved in kidnapping Claire earlier or was she trying to help her escape? (The jury is still out on this one in my mind. I'm going with helping to escape because of the next question.) If she was involved, who was Ethan? (I'll file him under Other for now.) Is Ethan dating Katie Holmes' cousin? Where does the ladder lead? (To the control room for the monster. Or perhaps to the Others' living quarters) Was it a reference to Pandora's Box when Locke said that what he thought was in the hatch was "hope" or was that just Lockespeak again? (Probably Lockespeak.) Is Sawyer dead? (I doubt it. He's the anti-Jack. We need both.) What about Michael and Jin? (Probably hanging on to some wreckage 15 miles out.) How did the Others know about the raft and that Walt would be on it? (Somebody told them.) Does the monster sound and act almost mechanical? (It sounds that way to me. It looks that way to me. But then what does that mean is going on.)

Share your own thoughts and theories in the comments.

Finally if anyone from ABC happens to be reading (don't worry I'm not having delusions of grandeur, I can barely handle delusions of mediocrity): Please run all the episodes consecutively next year. I hate the multiple breaks in the season.

Until later...

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