May 04, 2005

Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Marketing Department

It seems that George Lucas is not content with collecting money from every parent, child and person with fond memories of his original trilogy that overwhelm good sense and make them believe that they have to go see his new movies. While Revenge of the Sith will almost certainly make a few hundred million dollars at the box office, Mr. Lucas needs more money to pay the bills for his soul-removal surgery. In an effort to stay one step ahead of the collections agents, Lucas is selling out his characters to any company willing to pay.

It isn't as if these are limited to the usual tie-ins. Sure there are the games, toys, video games, even a Star Wars/Lego combination video game, but it goes far beyond that. So far, I have seen Yoda and Chewbacca on Pepsi products and in Pepsi commercials. It seems that if you enter a code from certain Pepsi products over the phone, there is a chance that Yoda may answer. While I would relish the opportunity to chat with someone whose grasp of syntax is even more confused than my own, I don't know that I am going to run out and purchase cases of Pepsi for the chance to "Call Upon Yoda." Darth Vader and C-3PO are currently gracing the fronts of Cheeze-It boxes in a peculiar homage to gold medal winners on Wheaties boxes of years past. Chewbacca is now featured in commercials for a cell phone company. T-Mobile? Cingular? Verizon? I don't remember, nor does it matter. I can think of no reason to have my cell phone notify me of an incoming call by playing a Wookie roaring. I do have some dignity left. (It's a very small shred, but I promise, it's there.) Just tonight I saw Darth Vader in an ad for a new Slurpee drink available at 7-11. Even when I checked my email, the spam was from characters in the movie: "If Dysfunction you have, click here you must." "I've got a bad feeling about this. Mortgage rates are about to go back up. Refinance now." "See Padme live on her webcam. Free!!!!"

Don't get me wrong. I'm not anti-Star Wars. Remember those groups of people I listed at the beginning? I'm in group number three. When Revenge of the Sith comes out, I'll be there. I won't be the fool in costume. I won't be the fool in line for months. I certainly won't be the fool in line for months at the wrong theater, but I'm still the fool.

Until later...

3 comments:

Anita Powell said...

I can't agree more. It's like everywhere you look, you see Star Wars. And I think it's Cingular that has the wookie ring tone. That's my carrier. I'm so ashamed. Maybe after May-June this whole thing will be over.

Laziest Girl said...

And now that you've done a post on Star Wars - every single Google ad is now Star Wars related. Previously I had no idea that Darth Vader helmets are available for purchase on ebay - now I'm getting one.

Craig said...

That has to be only the second time the google ads have helped to reinforce a post (the other was when they offered to help everyone earn a degree as a criminalist online). There are a lot worse things than Star Wars wallpaper or Darth Vader helmets that could be advertised on the side bar...but I suppose we've already covered that.