Even More Llama

So, I titled yesterday's post with a reference to the Llama Song. (Click here, but be careful, it's like musical crack) This started me thinking about what exactly it is that makes llamas so funny. I think I've come up with a few pretty good reasons why they just might be the most amusing animals on the planet.

1. The name. Say it: llama. It's just not as amusing to say alpaca.

2. They spit on people. If you go to a zoo or petting zoo and stand around for a few days, eventually, you're going to see some kid (or immature adult) annoy the llama. They can only handle so many people reaching through the bars to poke at them while baby talking. Eventually the llama's gonna snap, and when it does, stand back. Personally, I think there should be an entire TV network dedicated to people getting spit on by llamas, or at least a DVD.

3. They are fuzzy and just funny looking. Llamas look sort of like what would happen if you left a camel and a sheep together unattended for too long. Their forbidden love would eventually come out as a llama. They're camels without humps but with wool like sheep. We went to a zoo a couple weeks ago, and the llamas had been recently shorn. Bald llamas are actually funnier looking than regular ones. I would have stayed around to laugh at them longer, but I was a little afraid that they'd spit on me.

4. They should be spokesanimals for Invisalign. Have you ever seen a llama's teeth? They need braces worse than any human you've ever met. At one point ABC tried to have an episode of Extreme Makeover: Llama Edition where they send a llama to a cosmetic dentist, but the dentist took one look an decided he couldn't help.

5. They've been used to guard sheep from wild animals. This means that if a coyote or wild dog tries to come after the sheep, they get attacked and run off by a llama. How does a carnivore explain that to the rest of its pack? "No, really, guys. It spits at you." If you ever see a pack of dogs where most of them are rolling around on the ground laughing and one is standing around looking embarrassed, this is probably what happened.

There's really no argument about this. There is no member of the animal kingdom as funny as the llama. The only one that comes close is the capybara.

Until later...