Who Wants to Be a Superhero?

Tired of living in your parent's basement? Sick of the lack of geeks like you on TV? Well, then SciFi has got a show for you. *

Last night was the premiere episode of Who Wants to Be a Superhero? This show pits wannabe super men and women against each other for the praise of comic book legend Stan Lee. Each contestant has created a character, powers, weaknesses and costume. The 12...well really 11, since one of them was a plant who revealed that Creature was a slut, Iron Enforcer wants to kill everyone and Levity hopes to make millions by making action figures of himself...actually 10 since they kicked Levity out before they ever got going...contestants live in "The Lair" where they talk with plasma screen televisions showing Stan Lee who gives them instructions and challenges.

The first challenge for all of them was to inconspicuously (please keep that requirement in mind) change from street clothes to costume and then race to a previously established finish line. The twist? They must be fastest to do this in "true superhero fashion." That means that the supposed heroes who raced right past the little girl who was sobbing about losing her mother did not complete the challenge as it was intended.

Some highlights from the challenge: The Iron Enforcer, who had already been warned that talking about how much he wanted to kill people with his giant wrist laser was not exactly superhero appropriate, being inconspicuous by running around in his street clothes while carrying a gun approximately the size of Rhode Island. Nope, nothing odd going on there. Then there was Creature, in real life a "raw foodist" who drives a car fueled by used vegetable oil (sweet, a car powered by irony). Creature decided that the most appropriate place to change her clothing was in a trash can. Unfortunately, the trash can was less than three feet tall, meaning that her legs were hidden , but that was about it. Also changing in the open, Nitro G and Lemuria, who provides a good laugh by insisting in an interview that no one could see her despite the footage of a man sitting less than two feet away watching her undress.

Back at The Lair, Stan Lee explains the purpose of the challenge to the heroes and chooses three to step forward and explain why they should be allowed to remain: Nitro G, Iron Enforcer and Monkey Woman. Nitro G apologizes for letting him down, and promises to learn from his mistakes. Monkey Woman weeps and claims to have been so focused that she didn't even notice the crying girl, though footage seems to indicate that she looked right at her then ran past anyway. Iron Enforcer combines what the two previous heroes facing elimination have said, which is probably for the best as all evidence seems to indicate that he can't form a sentence on his own. Stan eliminates Nitro G who must remove his costume and throw it into a conveniently located trashcan.

Despite the complete absurdity or this show (or because of it) I loved it and have already picked out a favorite (Fat Momma, because who doesn't love the idea of gaining superpowers from eating doughnuts) and least favorites (Iron Enforcer and Creature).

My only regret is that they didn't have an episode made entirely of bad auditions.

*For the record, I'm poking fun at myself here as well. After all, I'm the guy who just returned Essential X-Men 5 to the library and picked up Essential X-Men 6. I saw ads for this show and my first response was to grab the TiVo remote and set up a Season Pass.