A Fount of Useless Information Companion to A Prairie Home Companion

A Prairie Home Companion was broadcasting live nearby this weekend...Ok, not nearby, in Chicago...Ok, not in Chicago, in Highland Park. You get the point. Anyway...We went to see Garrison Keillor et al. perform live. Since I'm not really a huge fan of Keillor or PHC, I figured I should at least document the event. The following are excerpts from the notes I made during the show.

• It's sooo hot. I'm too well insulated for this.


• I'm going to be sitting here outside with hundreds of people for over two hours. This was not the day to forget to take my allergy medicine. I'll do my best not to sneeze on the back of anyone's head.


• These seats were not designed for the legs of people who are 6'3". Tom Cruise would even be uncomfortable sitting here.


• As we walked into Ravinia Park , the employees were handing out complementary bottles of water. I think this was their way of saying, "We are not liable for any heat related deaths."


• Between our entry into the park and taking our seats under the pavillion, MK came up with the following jewel, "What I'd like to see: More women with brassieres on. Just because it's summer is no excuse to let it all hang out."


• As I sit here waiting for the show to begin, my OCD is kicking in. I really, really want to use this pen to trace the tattoo on the exposed shoulder of the woman in front of me. I think she might object.


• Several people in the audience brought binoculars to the event. Does one really need to see Keillor that close up? You could just look at the back of a Stephen King book for the same effect.


• Before this things gets started: There was a jazz band walking around the park, playing as a prelude to the show. They were quite impressive, but I did wonder about the choice of Ray Parker Jr.'s "Ghostbusters" as a jazz tune.


• Honestly, I've never seen more men wearing flowered shirts in one place. I thought Lake Wobegon was in Minnesota, not Hawaii.


• A woman in front of us keeps having to stand to let people by. It unfortunately appears that her posterior is attempting to eat her pants, as each time she gets up they disappear farther and farther.


• Garrison levitates onto the stage while singing "Under The Boardwalk."


• It sucks to be the lone person clapping to keep time with the music.


• The pavillion area has a no children under 7 rule. Too bad. They're the only ones that would fit in these seats.


• Another chorus of Under the Boardwalk, "Now all the boys." Umm...No thanks. You can lead a blogger to PHC, but you can't make him sing.


• After Garrison wanders through the audience, he prepares us for the broadcast show. "We do our show as a live broadcast. I don't know why." MK: "Cause at 30 bucks a pop, you make a killing on tickets."¹
  


• GK has some impressively red shoes on.


• The sound effects for the skits on this show are even more peculiar when you see the man making them. He's incredibly animated as he makes each noise.


• A message from the Partnership of English Majors. These are always odd, but kind of funny.
  


• Alice Peacock (guest musical artist for tonight's show) is really tiny.
  


• Hey, she might be comfortable in this seat.


• We are treated to an original song called "Suburban Blues." It's quite clever, both funny and pointed.


• It's still hot. I'm becoming dangerously dehydrated and lacking in electrolytes. If this were a Gatorade commercial, I'd have neon green sweat running off of me. Of course, if this were a Gatorade ad I'd be trying to explain to the big-headed Derek Jeter kid why it's creepy for him to hit on the giant-headed Jennie Finch kid.


• There's a mandolin orchestra tonight. I have to wonder if I'm the only one thinking of Bruce Hornsby.


• "People in Chicago are naturally leery of sing-alongs." Yeah, who isn't?


• Keillor keeps running his hands through his hair. At this point in the show, he looks a lot like out cockatiel.


• Despite all the anti-mandolin jokes in the Guy Noir skit, I actually enjoy the sound of the orchestra playing.


• Alice Peacock is singing again and she has a nice voice with a smoky/jazzy sound, though I do prefer the first song she sang.


• Oh, finally a breeze to cool things off...a giant hair just came floating by on that breeze before becoming entangled in my eyelashes. I'll now spend the rest of the evening trying not to think about where it came from.


• It's intermission and everyone stands up. It's disturbing to see how much sweat is on everyone now.


• Did that woman just sing, "The turtle eats the skin from your eyes?" Tonight's guest songwriter, Buffalo Bill.


• A child two rows ahead of us is plugging his ears. I think he's had enough.


• I'm stuck next to a whistling lady, and I am now bleeding from the ears.


• Ok, whose bright idea was it to go eat Thai food before having to sit here for two hours?


• The tattoo on the lady in front of me is still causing problems. My OCD is battling with my sense of social propriety and self restraint.


• It's time for News from Lake Wobegon and the crowd goes insane.


• There seems to be a serious turtle theme in today's News.


• Hmm, make that a turtle and poop theme.


• We end with a Dusty and Lefty skit which includes a song about moving the Cubs out of Chicago. It's an amusing end to this evening's show.


• "Good Night, Ladies" and we can finally get up and stop being packed in like sardines.

Well, I'm still not a big Prairie Home Companion fan, but I do have a certain appreciation for the show. And for fans of the show, I would certainly recommend seeing the show live, but preferably someplace air conditioned or at least not where both temperature and humidity are over 90.

¹ This is where I point out that we did not buy our own tickets. There aren't too many things I'd be willing to pay $30 each to see, and most of them involve the word "ball."