Bipolar Movie Rentals

We rented and watched a couple of movies recently and they really couldn't have been much more different. If anyone out there is trying to develop a personality profile based on the rental history of my account at Hollywood Video, they are destined to be thoroughly confused.

First up: Guess Who

It's really somewhat sad that this was turned into this. In the original, Tracy and Hepburn play parents dealing with their daughter bringing home her black boyfriend. In the remake, the race roles are reversed with the daughter of a black family bringing home a white boyfriend. As a concept, this works well; the problem was that we no longer examined the subject of racism. Oh sure, it was brought up but rather than bringing home a wonderful man whose only flaw is to have been born with the wrong amount of pigment, the daughter in Guess Who brings home a buffoon who happens to be white. Look at the choices: Sidney Poitier or Ashton Kutcher. Forget about race there, people. There's no contest. In addition to the issues of race, Ashton's stupidity causes him to insult others, humiliate himself and infuriate his fiance. This additional conflict distracts from almost any positive comparisons that can be drawn to Guess Who's Coming to Dinner, and turns it into an even less funny and more painful Meet The Parents.

The way the plot develops is formulaically formulaic, to the point that with every new development, the viewer feels that the characters must be complete idiots not to have figure that out by now. This isn't to say the movie isn't funny. I laughed out loud a few times, but I also cringed as many. Most of the humor in the movie comes from Bernie Mac who manages to be amusing and likeable as the overly protective father.

Second: Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter...and Spring

A Korean film from 2003, SSFW...&S (wow, it's still long even when it's abbreviated) deals with the life of a monk in a Buddhist temple floating on a lake. The film takes us through the seasons, both literal and figurative, of the monk's life. We see him as a young boy learning from the old monk about many things, most importantly about the consequences his actions have on others and himself. For summer, we join him as a teenager when a young woman is brought to the temple to recover from an illness. Discovering girls for the first time, he learns the pain caused by desire. In the fall, we see him as a young adult, his life in turmoil, and he learns that peace can be found in even the most tumultuous of times. We see him as a middle-aged adult in winter learning the final lesson of letting go. In the spring once again, he becomes the teacher and begins educating a young pupil of his own, bringing the story around to it's beginning for the end.

Told with little dialogue, Ki-Duk Kim's film uses the scenery and actions of characters to tell a story. In the end, the simplicity of that story leaves the viewer contemplating the complexities of life and the choices we make. It is not a film for everyone, but I would not hesitate to recommend it to those who are already curious.

Until later...

Book Review: American Gods

Neil Gaiman's American Gods tells the story of what happens to legends and myths when people stop believing. In his novel, the gods walk the earth and many moved to America with their followers, only to be abandoned or forgotten over years and generations. Odin roams the country working as a grifter, while Thoth and Anubis run a funeral parlor.

Shadow, a recent parolee, loses almost everything he has to live for and takes a job working for a grizzled old man named Wednesday. As a result, he becomes involved in a (eternal) life and death struggle between the old gods and the new gods of technology. Shadow learns about himself, the gods, the changing world and love that transcends death.

A truly fascinating concept that is executed to perfection, American Gods is an enjoyable read that rewards more intense scrutiny. For any with an interest in mythology, I highly recommend it with the caveat that the gods may not be quite who you expect, because they have been forgotten and the years have not been kind.

Until later...

Trivial Tuesday

Today is the birthday of actress Cameron Diaz. Among the many movies starring Cameron Diaz is the not so funny comedy, The Sweetest Thing. This movie was written by first-time screenwriter Nancy Pimental, who used to appear as co-host of a game show. What game show was it?

First commenter with the correct answer gains the right to brag for a week. The usual rules apply.

Update: Congrats to MC Etcher. Nancy Pimental replaced Jimmy Kimmel as co-host of Win Ben Stein's Money. MC E you have one week to brag, then your title is up for grabs.

Until later...

MTV Video Music Awards 2005: The Running Diary Returns

In a quest to deny how old I actually am, I've decided to blog throughout the entire MTV Video Music Awards. If you haven't read one of my running diaries before, I should say that (1) I completely ripped the idea off from Bill Simmons and (2) because of the nature of this post, it will almost certainly be full of mistakes (even more than normal).

(End of VMA note: It didn't turn out as well as I'd like, but here you go anyway. I'm not about to delete this much work.)

7:57-At the end of the preshow 50 Cent tells us what to look for from G-Unit during the show. It seems they are going to perform a melody. Fifty, we've all heard you quasi-sing, and I promise you won't perform a melody. Maybe he meant medley. We'll have to wait and see.

8:00-We kick off the show with Green Day singing Boulevard of Broken Dreams. Billie Joe had his makeup done by a fifteen year old Goth girl before the show.

8:05-"Please welcome your host: Diddy." Dude, just go with Sean. Then you don't have to change it every two years. Or you could forgo the whole name thing and be a symbol like Prince. In fact, for the duration of this blog, Sean Combs shall be known as &.

8:08-I'm not sure if I've ever seen anyone who loves himself as much as &.

8:11-Best Male and Best Female Video nominees. Why are these both presented at once? I should also probably point out that Lindsay Lohan is helping to present these and her weight loss has certainly served to answer one of the burning celebrity gossip column questions: Apparently, they weren't.

8:12-Kelly Clarkson wins Best Female and Kanye West wins for Best Male. Gwen Stefani is angry. Perhaps someone should remind her that Toni Basil didn't win for that video either.

8:15-Beavis and Butthead are helping with the Viewers Choice Award tonight. I'm very disturbed that MK is next to me laughing at them.

8:23-Performance: Ludacris and Bobby Valentino. Not so good.

8:25-The performance has improved because they brought out a steel drum band, and Bobby Valentino is no longer trying to sing live.

8:27-& just told us about how he's a gentleman and doesn't use words like...several seconds of silence on the delay. Ah, rich and witty.

8:29-To prove that "anything can happen", & just gave away his watch, and now he is telling us about giving $100,000 to charity.

8:30-& makes the night's first reference to Vote or Die, so I will make the night's first reference to the fact that after all the hype, he did neither.

8:31-Orlando Bloom and Kirsten Dunst are presenting an award. It's good that he has facial hair now, because otherwise it would be a toss up as to which of the two was more masculine.

8:33-Green Day just won best rock video. In other shocking news, the sun rose this morning.

8:37-I promise the guy correcting people about music and other facts in the MTV commercial is not me. Really.

8:40-Grandmaster Flash is helping DJ tonight. I wonder how many of the kids in the audience and watching on TV even have a clue who he is. I feel old again.

8:40-Security didn't think that & was serious and took the watch back from the guy, so we had to perform the give-away again. Why? Because "Anything can happen."

8:42-MC Hammer is performing. I seriously could not be happier, unless he were to perform...Wait! He is! Can't Touch This! Congratulations, Hammer you just got an extra 30 seconds of fame.

8:44-The Simpson sisters are on stage to present an award, and it could only be more painful if they were singing. With what Jessica is wearing, she's pretty much assured of being on GFY tomorrow.

8:49-"From the Miami Heat: Dwyane Wade." I love his name because it looks like someone transposed the Y and A, but no one noticed. I'm going to start doing this with other names. "Hi, this is my friend Jmaes and his wife Stephnaie."

8:52-Shakira is performing and singing entirely in Spanish. It always bothers me to not have a translation of what's being said in another language...mainly because I'm convinced they're making fun of me. Is that a bad thing?

8:53-I just realized, Jessica Alba introduced this performance by Shakira. Someone's been paying attention to The Letter D and wanted to get a definitive answer to his question.

8:56-Kanye West is now in a Pepsi commercial. He's come a long way from leaving the American Music Awards after losing Best New Artist to Gretchen "Redneck Woman" Wilson.

9:01-We have people Clowning and Krumping. I would like to take this opportunity to say that dancing clowns are even more creepy than regular clowns.

9:07-Ladies and Gentlemen, lock up your daughters. No, not you with the eighteen year old, just the one's 14 and under. Live on the stage: R. Kelly!

9:08-While we sit through the obviously lipsynced one man opera (I really wish I could put a link to this thing. It's hilarious and everyone needs to see it.), I would like to say that, yes, there is truth to the rumor that I owned an R. Kelly tape back in the day. It was long enough ago that it was R. Kelly and The Public Announcement. It was back before all of the underage girl things. Back then he was busy discovering and then allegedly marrying Aalyiah before her parents found out and forced
them to get an annulment, because she was only 15...oh, umm...never mind.

9:15-The one man opera finally ended. It was really, really bad. He should get prison time for that too.

9:19-I have no idea if the new show "How I Met Your Mother" is any good or not, but in the commercial there was a clip of Neil Patrick Harris saying, "This is totally going in my blog." It made me laugh.

9:20-After hearing the history of his name from Sean Combs to Puffy to Diddy, we now know why & wasn't a comedian.

9:23-How did Hillary Duff end up dating the guy from Good Charlotte? Has anyone bothered to tell him she's underage?

9:23-Who cares about Hillary? It's the Killers playing Mr. Brightside! They're on a stage over a hotel pool, which is cool, but I kinda miss the Moulin Rouge-esque video.

9:27-Little Kim is wearing clothes. The world must be coming to an end. Maybe she's just preparing for prison. I don't think they have standard issue pasties there.

9:31-Beavis and Butthead return and MK is laughing. Though this time it was justified.

9:34-I barely recognized Alanis Morisette in the Gap commercial. She doesn't seem nearly angry enough anymore.

9:35-An ad for a new movie, Flightplan with Jodie Foster. It felt like I was watching the trailer for Panic Room on a plane.

9:39-& is "conducting" an orchestra over a couple tracks of Notorious B.I.G. rapping. It's interesting, but the music on Juicy didn't match up with the rhyme.

9:42-They way he's dressed, Common does not look like he belongs at the VMAs, but that's not a bad thing.

9:45-Fall Out Boy just won an award for Sugar We're Going Down. They performed this at the pre-show and it sounded very different live, and by different I mean horrible.

9:53-Another performance, and I would like to add that I have discovered recently that I like reggaeton.

9:58-Our 501st shot of Jay Z in the audience tonight. He looks completely bored out of his mind.

9:59-To celebrate the fans in the balcony, & is bringing some of the fans down to party with him, because "Anything can happen!" That line is getting old almost as fast as me calling him &.

10:00-Please welcome: Coldplay! I don't like Coldplay, and Chris Martin named his kid Apple; that's pretty much all I can say. On the other hand, they sound almost the same live or recorded, unlike some people (Green Day and Fall Out Boy, I'm looking at you.)

10:10-Ricky Martin. This is too easy, make your own joke.

10:12-Gwen Stefani loses to Kelly Clarkson again and graces us with what is either a fake smile or the onset of appendicitis.

10:13-Kanye West and Jamie Foxx perform Gold Digger. Has Jamie Foxx always been able to sing, but we just found out in the past few years or is this something new? This performance makes me very glad that it's only a few more days until the release of Late Registration.

10:25-For some reason, we have a random comedian performing. The audience looks bored. I agree. Then again, jokes about blowing up ones own child are always funny, right? Right? No? Must just be him that thinks so.

10:28-Best New Artist: The Killers. Is this the kiss of death like it is to win best new artist at the American Music Awards? Hopefully not, because I really like the first album.

10:32-Eva Longoria comes on stage to my least favorite currently popular song, Pussycat Dolls, Don'cha. Trampy girls singing about being trampy with an annoying hook that gets stuck in my head for days at a time, fun!

10:45-Lil Jon and some mostly naked chick come out to present the Breakthrough video award. He tries to put his arm around her and she pushes it off. Nice.

10:47-It's time for 50 Cent's melody. I can hardly contain myself.

10:48-Apparently, in preparation for the melody, someone handed out tambourines to the audience.

10:49-The stage is on fire!!! Oh, it's part of the performance. Never mind.

10:50-Tony Yayo comes out to join 50 on stage. It's good that he got out of jail in time to replace Eminem, who's now in rehab.

10:52-At the end of the performance, the members of G Unit decide to bad mouth other people like Fat Joe. Hasn't 50 Cent been shot enough times already? Eventually, the censors give up on repeatedly hitting the button to clean up their taunts and we get 30 seconds of silence. The silence is welcome at this point.

10:53-Attempts at inciting a riot aside, there was no melody, just a medley.

11:00-My Chemical Romance is playing, according to &, it's because he asked them. Personally, if I would have preferred "I'm Not Ok (I Promise)" rather than "Helena", but that's just me.

11:02-I feel the icy hand of death. Oh wait, it's just Paris Hilton coming to present an award.

11:03-Paris and (Don't call me Lil') Bow Wow compare the amount of diamonds they are wearing, and the collective IQ of the universe drops another 50 points.

11:12-The final award for Video of the Year, presented by Jamie Foxx and Destiny's Child. I can't believe Beyonce is allowing the other two to talk so much. I guess it really is time to break up the group and go solo.

11:15-Unsurprisingly, Green Day wins Video of the Year. I really can't make any remotely objective comments on this, because when our local radio station was playing the song every 20 minutes for 4 months straight, I learned to hate it, passionately.

11:18-As a finale, we get Kelly Clarkson performing Since U Been Gone. Approximately 75% of the performance is Kelly tugging at her pants to prevent crack exposure. Perhaps this should suggest something about your performing attire. Or not. It's up to you; I'm just trying to help.

11:22-To keep me from feeling too old, MTV immediately switches to the after show with Kurt Loder and John Norris, who are both almost ready to retire and move to Florida.

11:23-As exciting as this has been, it's time for me to go to bed.

Well, what have we learned? We learned that I'm old, that many famous bands stink when they perform live, that pants can be held up by one hand and the collective will of the audience, and most importantly that there is a difference between melody and medley. I hope that someone out there gets some amusement out of this, because it's past bedtime for us old folks.

Until later...

That Is One Messed Up Bunny Rabbit

How to handle reviewing Donnie Darko? It's difficult to talk about too much without discussing the entire plot. In addition, even if everyone has seen it there is no guarantee that everyone actually saw the same movie. Sure everyone watched the movie written and directed by Richard Kelly, but what I take away from it may not be what you take away from the movie.

For those as out of the loop as I was until I finally watched it last week (thanks to Invisible Lizard and the wonders of the United States Postal Service), Donnie Darko focuses on the incredibly strange life of an emotionally disturbed high school age boy (Jake Gyllenhaal) who begins receiving visits from Frank a six-foot tall rabbit. Frank tells him of the coming end of the world and encourages him to do several things that would likely get him arrested. Harvey, it's not. Honestly, that's about all I can tell you about the movie without launching into a discussion that would last for a few hours.

I tried to figure out what to say in this review, and eventually decided that the best way to sum it up is with how Invisible Lizard explained it: "Richard Kelly is either some kind of genius or a drug addict. Jury's still out." Right now, I'm leaning toward genius.

Until later...

Things Are Looking Grimm

The Brothers Grimm tells the story of the two story tellers and how they collected their fables and legends. In Gilliam's version of their lives, the Grimms collect the legends, then use their knowledge of them to swindle money for the more superstitious folk. When we first meet them as adults, they are planning to exorcise the soul of a witch that has been haunting the mill of a small town. With the help of two actors of less than average intelligence, they manage to fool the town and take the money. Things are going well until they are forced by a French general to deal with a legend that is only all too real. (Quick side gripe here: The French were French, but the Germans all spoke with British accents? Why?)

The concept of brothers Grimm as medieval Ghostbusters (whether real or fake) was intriguing, though I kept waiting for Venkman to show up. The visuals for the most part were impressive. The wolf, well, let's just say it was the big exception to that statement. The dialogue and performances were ordinary, but expectedly so. A bit overlong at just shy of 2 hours, the film seemed unsure whether it wanted to be slapstick, horror or a fairy tale all its own. This was really the film's downfall, but was also part of what made it compelling. Did I feel it could have been better? Much better. But did I enjoy it? Yes, I did. I'll not recommend it, but neither will I dissuade you from going if you are so inclined.

Until later...

Who Are These Guys?

Looking through statcounter recently, I found that there were several people visiting that I had absolutely no idea who they were. I'm not talking about people who search for information about the Burger King/Fantastic Four Amazon.com cards, then never come back again. These are all people who show up as repeat visitors.

Because of this, I'm declaring today Welcome Wednesday. If you are new here, or if you have never commented, welcome to the Fount. If you are one of these people, feel free to comment so we know who you are. Or if you are too shy to comment, just drop me an email.

So that you know whether I'm talking about you, here are the locations for people who have been visiting, but have never introduced themselves. (Statcounter gives more info than this, but I don't feel like it's ok to publish any more than the location.) Are you one of these lurkers?

• Green Bay, WI
• Mechanicsville, VA One down.
• Rantoul, IL: Found this one too! This one really perplexes me. I used to live in this town, and it has a population of less than 20K. To the best of my knowledge no one I know there is aware of this blog.
• Cincinnati, OH (Ohio State University)
• St. Martinville, LA
• Nixa, MO Another lurker stopped in to say hi.
  

Don't worry, even if you don't introduce yourself, you are still welcome.


On a side note, I miss our old Wright State University lurker. He/She was around for a while, but has recently stopped visiting. I must have become too boring. (We found this one too. Apparently, I didn't become too boring; I'm just too long-winded.)


Until later...

Spam, spam, spam, spam

A new feature to help prevent spam comments, Word Verification. Thank you, Blogger.

I didn't really want to turn off the Anonymous comments, and now I shouldn't have to. Hopefully the number of fake comments will be kept to a minimum now.

Trivial Tuesday

This week, The Brothers Grimm opens in theaters. This movie, which would look more appealing if it didn't star Matt Damon and Heath Ledger, was directed by Terry Gilliam. What movie gave Gilliam his first director credit for a full-length motion picture?

The usual rules apply. First one to answer correctly wins this week's bragging rights.

Update: Invisible Lizard wasted little time letting us know that it was Monty Python's Holy Grail. Brag away, Lizard.

Until later...

Book Review: Garlic and Sapphires

Ruth Reichl begins her book Garlic and Sapphires with the story of a flight to New York City just after she first gained the coveted position of restaurant critic at the New York Times. The woman seated next to her on the plane leaned over and intimated, "I know who you are." It seems that the mysterious woman next to her worked at a restaurant and that many of the finer dining establishments in New York had begun circulating pictures of Reichl as soon as it was known that she was to be working at the Times. This, of course, would present a problem. A critic who gets treated differently than every other patron can hardly be a critic of any use to the public. Not to be dissuaded from her duties, Reichl began visiting restaurants not only as herself, but also in disguise.

The book takes us on reviews with her and through the process of deciding what rating to assign. We see her visit as herself, as was the case when she was arrived 20 minutes early for her reservation and was told that the King of Spain was waiting in the bar, but that her table was ready. We see her visit in disguise, resulting in almost completely being ignored at the exact same restaurant that made royalty wait for her. We see her visit restaurants with her superiors who make sure that everyone knows who she is, so that they can receive the lavish treatment for once. After each section, and each new disguise, Reichl inserts one of her reviews for the place she described in the chapter. While it does break up the flow of the narrative somewhat, it also serves to give the reader an idea of what it was like to review the restaurants, not just eat there.

Whether telling the story of becoming jealous of how much her husband and son come to love one of her alter egos or of how one of her alter egos was picked up by a pretentious business man who was offended when she turned out to know more about food than he did, Reichl's book is a delightful read that leaves you hungering not only for the food she describes, but also for amusingly insightful writing she provides.

Until later...

Kung Fu Hustle

Stephen Chow's Kung Fu Hustle is the highest grossing Hong Kong made film in Hong Kong, according to IMDB. We rented the DVD, this weekend and I'm unsure how to describe it, as it was unlike almost anything else.

Part wuxia, part Zucker brothers-style spoof, part Looney Tunes, Kung Fu Hustle was an enjoyable rollercoaster of a movie. We follow gangsters who spend far too much time dancing, completely inept wannabe gangsters, and the citizens of Pig Sty Alley, who seem to have a remarkable knack for Kung Fu.

Though I'm still not sure what to think of the movie, I did enjoy it enough to want to check out some of Stephen Chow's other movies.

Until later...

Conscience vs. Humor: Conscience Victorious

As I was reading the copy of Everything Bad Is Good for You that I checked out from the library, I noticed that the last person to check out the book returned more than just the book itself. Approximately three-quarters of the way through the book, someone had placed and left two photographs. There were not anything spectacular, simply the type of pictures we all take: People laughing, having fun, etc.

Don't think that it didn't cross my mind to scan them and post them on here with a quasi-witty headline like, "Have you seen me?" or "Lost and Found: Photo Edition." Instead, I thought that it would be best to return the pictures to the library along with the book on the off chance that some poor soul will be looking for them and remember that they last had them when they were reading that library book and maybe they should check the lost and found.

Until later...

Book Review: What Einstein Told His Cook

What Einstein Told His Cook by Robert Wolke is an amusing marrying of both science and food that is presented in a manner accessible to even the least scientific of minds. With topics ranging from artificial sweeteners to the process of curing ham, Wolke not only explains food science, but makes it interesting as well.

Wolke not only delves into the realm of "how does that work", he also attempts to conquer various food myths. If you over-salt your soup, can you just through in some potato to soak up the salt? (No) Does rolling or microwaving a lemon help to get more juice out? (Only if you do both, and not at all if compared to a juicer or even a hand-held reamer.)

While hard-core scientists might find What Einstein Told His Cook to be too watered down (I certainly would have enjoyed more science in the food science), it is an enjoyable read for anyone who enjoys cooking and enjoys satisfying their curiosity.

Until later...

Not Exactly Martha Stewart

Hmm...I can't say that this is exactly my taste in home decor. It just seems to border a little too much on white trash couture for me. On the other hand I am sure there are plenty of people who would love to decorate their bathrooms with an armaments theme, and the bullet toilet seat is just the piece to build around.

I think my favorite part is that Overstock has a warning that supplies are limited. "Sell out Risk: VERY HIGH"

In case they do sell out and/or the link no longer works here are a couple of pictures of it:



Until later...

Lunch With MK and Fashion Maven

Today, MK and I went out for lunch with my coworker and friend, Fashion Maven. We went to a little pizza place near work that has a fairly nice buffet. I soon realized that I should never leave the two of them alone, since by the time I got back to the table with my salad, they were deep in conversation. I claimed they were mocking me, they both protested that they were not mocking, just discussing. Riiiight.

Mercifully, the conversation turned away from my idiosyncrasies and to other subjects. At one point we were discussing the differences in climate from one part of the building FM and I work in to another. She says that her office is always cold, while I say mine is always warm. This probably has less to do with actual temperature variations and more to do with my extra insulation. The conversation about being cold, sparked a new line of thought for MK, who looked across the table at Fashion Maven and said, "Oh, speaking of cold..."

Before she could continue, Fashion Maven looked confusedly down at her chest then turned back to us, "Oh, you said speaking of cold, and I thought you were going to tell me I was nipping out. I had to check."

After we all stopped laughing and I confirmed that the Diet Mountain Dew I was drinking had not come out my nostrils (it just felt like it), MK went on to say that she was originally going to talk about the kids on Brat Camp, a show they both watch, having to sleep outside during the middle of winter. I'm sure they discussed the show, but I didn't really notice, because I still haven't stopped laughing.

Fortunately, Fashion Maven was nice enough (and not too humiliated) to allow me to retell the story.

Until later...

Am I High Maintenance?

I've been pondering that question a bit recently. I can't believe that I'm actually high maintenance. Sure, I'm a bit obsessive, but that's a small thing right? Right?

Come on people, just because I'm convinced that I have or will do something wrong and upset someone doesn't mean I'm neurotic. If I ask you ten times if you're sure that I didn't offend you, it's just that I really, really want to be sure. Even if all I did was not seem cheerful enough when I said hi.

If I seem to take things people say too personally, it's just that I am never really sure of their intentions. You can't be sure how someone meant that comment until you ask. Repeatedly. Needing constant reassurance isn't really the same as being high maintenance.

So you see, I'm actually not high maintenance. It isn't as if there is a lot of evidence to suggest this. Honestly, the only thing I can think of is my friend who forced me to make a deal with her: "I promise to tell you if you ever do anything to upset me, as long as you promise to stop worrying about it so much." Then there was the conversation the other day about a fellow coworker: "He's the most high-strung person I've ever met. More high-strung than you, even." Really, this is all circumstantial at best.

Still, it would explain why MK is the only person I know who receives cards expressing condolences on her wedding anniversary.

Until later...

Trivial Tuesday

Today is Madonna's 47th birthday (no I didn't know that, I saw it earlier today). In honor of Ms. Ciccone, we'll ask a question related to her illustrious movie career.

In the 2002 remake, Swept Away, Madonna stars as a woman shipwrecked on an island with a sailor who abuses her and with whom she falls in love. The male lead in the movie was played by an actor whose father played the same role in the original. Who is that father and originator of the role?


Don't forget to play by the rules and have fun.

Update: Invisible Lizard came by and gave us the correct answer of Giancarlo Giannini. I have to admit that this disappoints me a little. I was looking forward to needing to give out hints about how he has one of the most enjoyable names to say or by making snarky references to Keanu Reeves in A Walk in The Clouds. "Whoa, Mr. Aragon! Your vineyard is on fire, dude!" Alas, it was not to be.

Until later...

The Wisdom of Books

In reading Everything Bad Is Good for You today, I came across a section that I felt I had to share. Steven Johnson, the author, is discussing what he describes as the Sleeper Curve, and how it shows that compared to earlier incarnations of television, our brains are required to function on a higher level to watch current TV shows.

The relevant comparison is not between Joe Millionaire and M*A*S*H; it's between Joe Millionaire and The Price Is Right, or between Survivor and The Love Boat.

What you see when you make these head-to-head comparisons is that a rising tide of complexity has been lifting programming both at the bottom of the quality spectrum and at the top. The Sopranos is several times more complex than Hill Street was, and Joe Millionaire has made comparable advances over Battle of The Network Stars. This is the ultimate test of the Sleeper Curve theory: even the crap has improved.

Agree or disagree with his arguments, but that man deserves a Pulitzer for that line.

Until later...

Book Review: The Girl Who Loved Tom Gordon

The newest selection for the work book club was The Girl Who Loved Tom Gordon by Stephen King. I'm sick and I'm tired, so the review is going to be short:

Meh.


Until later...

Book Review: The Curious Incident of The Dog in The Night-time

Mark Haddon's The Curious Incident of The Dog in The Night-time begins as a mystery. Our protagonist, Christopher, discovers his next door neighbor's dog dead on her lawn, and decides that it is up to him to determine what happened. Christopher is not the typical detective, however. He is a fifteen year-old boy who happens to have Asperger's Syndrome.

Telling the story from the perspective of an autistic teenager is a risky proposition. It could easily have been a simple gimmick which exploited those who think differently than most of us and used it to generate humor or tension. Haddon could have had him solve the original mystery, then start up his own detective agency, allowing for a lucrative series of books narrated by Christopher. Fortunately, the author instead chooses to use this as a chance to give us insight into the mind and life of someone who would often be overlooked.

Despite his problems, Christopher sets off to determine just who has killed Wellington (the dog), and eventually on to an even greater adventure. It is a story of overcoming one's fears. It is a story of overcoming other's prejudices. It is a story of amazing accomplishment. I would highly recommend this to anyone who hasn't read it already and who is interested in broadening their view of the world just slightly.


Until later...

When The Penguins Go Marching In

March of The Penguins is one of those rare documentaries that capture the attention of the public at large and find success as a cross-over to mainstream cinema. I was somewhat surprised to find that our local theaters were playing March of The Penguins and jumped at the chance to go see it.

It is simply beautiful in concept and in execution. From beginning to end the film is visually awe-inspiring. The warm familiarity of Morgan Freeman's narration lends an even more personal feel to the penguins' story. It is a story that, while many would call a story of life and death, can only be accurately be described as the story of life.

Through beautiful cinematography and unobtrusive narration, the filmmakers allow the penguins themselves to guide us on our journey. Our journey takes us not only from the sea to the breeding grounds and back again, but also from emotion to emotion deftly reminding us of the precarious balancing act that is life.

We watch in amusement as the penguins waddle toward their goal or drop to their bellies to scoot along, as if swimming across the ice. In wonder as they march 70 miles across a wasteland free from landmarks. We watch with feelings of love as the penguins bond with their mates and later with their newborn chicks. With horror as we see predators try to devour mothers who have returned to the sea to feed. With fear as we see winter's wrath come down upon the fathers as they try to guard the eggs from the cold. With exultation as the sun returns and the eggs begin to hatch. With outrage as another predator attacks defenseless chicks. Finally, as the chicks mature and venture into the sea for the first time, we watch with a feeling of peace, knowing that through the ups and downs, the pains and trials, things go on as they always have.

Until later...

Uniform Deception

On the way home this evening, MK and I stopped off for dinner at a Chinese restaurant. While we were eating, a couple of new patrons came in and were seated at a nearby table. I noticed that they were both wearing a black and white uniform with some sort of official looking badge.

When we were leaving MK, mentioned something about them being paramedics, to which I replied that I thought that they were TSA agents on break from inspecting baggage at the nearby airport. As it turns out, we were both wrong.

We walked out of the restaurant and toward our car in the parking lot and there sat two black and white VW Beetles with the logo of the Geek Squad. Our paramedics/baggage inspectors were Best Buy technical support.

Until later...

Trivial Tuesday

A very vaguely Star Wars related question tonight.

In one episode of The Simpsons, Mark Hamill makes a guest appearance at dinner theater performing Guys and Dolls ("Luke be a Jedi, tonight. Do it for Yoda, while we serve our guests soda. Luke be a Jedi, tonight.") and trying to tell everyone about Sprint. What was the entree for dinner theater that night? (Hint: It was his face up there next to it.)

Read the rules. Play the game. Win nothing. It's great fun.

Update: Congratulations to CrystalPistol for knowing that it was indeed pepper steak, as was revealed in this exchange:

Mark Hamill: Hey, pal, that's my face up there next to the pepper steak, and don't you forget it.
Louie: You're all talk, Hamill. You never even finished Jedi school.

Also kudos to Invisible Lizard for getting the secondary question I posted in the comments. It was indeed I Will Always Love You (the Whitney Houston version, not Dolly Parton) that played as Homer carried Hamill through the crowd, kicking fans as he went.


Until later...

In Defense of Oompaloompaphobia

So, after reading Laziest Girl's post, I felt that I needed to defend myself against a few of the things she said. Unfortunately, when it comes down to it, I really can't argue with most of it. I am sometimes a bit odd, deserving recipient of the point-and-laugh on occasion and a self-proclaimed obsessive-compulsive. The Oompa Loompa thing, though, that's entirely different.

To defend against those who do not understand my issues with Oompa Loompas, I shall attempt to elucidate my reasoning here using evidence from both the 1971 and 2005 versions of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

1. In 1971, they were orange. Orange!!!! As if they had some horrible run-in with a giant bottle of self-tanner.

2. In addition to being orange, the 1971 OLs had white eyebrows. This was a very creepy combination, and I highly recommend all of my readers avoid it if at all possible.

3. In 2005 they are no longer orange, but every single Oompa Loompa is identical. A clonal population of factory workers is not only scary, but smacks of Huxley's Brave New World. The Oompa Loompa's are the Epsilon Semi-morons.

4. The tinyness. I'm no small person by any means and the 2005 incarnation of the Oompa Loompas scare me with their tiny little selves. They are would come up to somewhere between my ankle and mid-calf. I can't spend that much time worrying whether I'm going to trample someone.

5. The complete lack of any emotion. They mill about doing their work and have no care for anything or anyone else. Someone almost drowns in a river of chocolate and gets sucked up a tube to the Fudge Room; they don't care about anything but whether he might ruin the product. Someone falls down a trash chute to an incinerator that may or may not be currently burning? That's ok. They'll just sing a song about how it's what she deserved anyway.

6. The choreography. Oh, the choreography!

7. They are eerily prescient. No matter what has just happened, they have a perfectly rehearsed song prepared and ready to deliver a moral for the edification of little children everywhere.

Hopefully, I've convinced you all why the Oompa Loompas are in fact evil little creatures that should have been left to the vermicious knids. If not, I hope you realize the error of your ways before they dance around singing a mocking song as you go to your inevitable, but fitting and amusing doom.

Until later...

I'm (In-)Famous

The mainstream press may still be ignoring us here at the Fount, but that's ok. Right now, you can go over to Angry Chimp and check out the most recent edition of the Monday Interview featuring The Fount of Useless Information.

Thanks very much to Herge at Angry Chimp for doing the interview. For those of you not familiar with the concept of these interviews, Herge has posted interviews of a couple of other bloggers, here and here.

Until later...

Having The Last Word

Wal-Mart greeters are interesting people. Their entire job is to stand at the entrance to the store saying hello to people coming in, making sure that the customers get a cart if they need it and then wishing them well on their way back out of the store. This is a job that requires the ability to interact well with all sorts of people and to remain cheerful in any situation. I imagine that if Wal-Mart were robbed at gun point, the greeter would thank the criminal for choosing Wal-Mart as he dashed to his get away car.

Our Wal-Mart has one greeter that stands out from the rest. She is a very friendly woman, but I'm never sure when the conversation ends.

A sample of the typical dialogue as we attempt to leave the store:

Wal-Mart Greeter: Have a nice night.

CK: (Politely) Thanks, you too.

WG: Bye now!

CK: (Still trying to be polite) Bye!

WG: See you later.

CK: (Wondering if I should just ignore her) Ok, you too. (walks out the door)

WG: Thanks for shopping at Wal-Mart.

CK: (To MK, now that we are in the parking lot) Is she still talking to us? She always gets the last word. I'd hate to try to win an argument with her.

Until later...

Trivial Tuesday

It's Tuesday once again, and time for trivia.

I picked up a copy of the PC game Sid Meier's Pirates! recently, and I absolutely love it. I can remember playing the old-school version of Pirates! on the Nintendo and then Pirates! Gold on the Sega Genesis. It's great fun. With that in mind, we have a nautical theme for you today.

Way back in the day (16th century), Sir Francis Drake was an English navigator and pirate...oh, privateer, sorry. He was the first Englishman to circumnavigate the globe. When he left his flagship had one name but by the time he made it all the way around the world he had renamed it. What were the two names of his flagship?

Usual rules apply. Happy answering. Sorry, no bonus points are awarded for answering in pirate speak.

Update: Congratulations to the Blissfully Insane Middlechild. The flagship was indeed the Pelican which later became the Golden Hind. On a slightly different note, the Second Dose of Trivia has been suspended. To feed your much needed trivia fix Wednesday through Monday, check out Trivia Nerds.

Until later...