It's Like There's A Party In My Mouth And Everybody's Throwing Up!

We had to go to Target last night, and as a bribe to keep me from whining MK bought me some of the new Choxie chocolates. When I decided to write this post, I went to the Target website to find info about Choxie and discovered that there was nothing about it there. It's as if they are embarrassed about it. And they should be.

We bought a bag of assorted meltaways. The candies came in four flavors: deep dark chocolate, mint cookie crunch, espresso and raspberry lemon biscotti. I'll describe each of the flavors and rate them individually and then give a final result. The ratings will be on a scale of 1-10 with 1 being "please cut out my tongue to make it stop" and 10 being "magically delicious."

Deep dark chocolate: It's not exactly a strong chocolate flavor and has an aftertaste that reminds me of cough syrup. The chocolate itself has the consistency of a Crayola, but is relatively smooth for all its waxyness. Rating: 4

Mint cookie crunch: The mint flavoring is actually distinguishable as peppermint. The cookie crunch, on the other hand is completely unidentifiable as anything other than something crunchy. For all I know, it could be broken glass. The mint flavor is strong enough to overpower the bad chocolate, making this the best of the bunch. Rating: 5

Espresso: I couldn't really evaluate this one. Given my aversion to all things coffee, I gnawed off half of one piece and decided that I had tried enough. Surprisingly, it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Rating: 4

Raspberry lemon biscotti: Ah, lemon-scented Pledge with notes of bath soap. The grainy biscotti pieces add that special something that all confections on earth have been missing. Not fit for human consumption. Rating: 2

My advice? Stay away. If you want bad to mediocre chocolate, you can get it much cheaper at any grocery store. If that's what you want, spend a fraction of the price and go get a Hershey bar. For the same price as Choxie, you could easily get a nice selection of much better chocolate that won't end up being thrown away only half eaten.

I know, we're all shocked that Target could let us down in making chocolate, but it's true. Though the packaging is eye catching, so it's got that going for it.

Until later...