The Price Is Wrong, Or Is It?

We went home for lunch on Monday. It's one of the advantages of living only a couple miles from work, now. While we were eating, we had The Price Is Right on the TV. There are a few things that really bugged me about it.

First, how old is Bob Barker? He's been asking people to spay or neuter their pets since before the Civil War. I'm starting to wonder if he's actually Ponce de Leon.

And what's with the weird cult following? Do people hope that he'll pass on the secret to eternal life? I don't know about you, but if I told women to reach in my pocket to get money, I'd get punched, arrested or sued. Bob does it (well, maybe not now), and he's just a cool guy.

Is this the most ridiculous concept for a game show ever? People win prizes they don't want based on whether or not they know the price of a tube of denture cream. I hope that the only time in my life I ever need to know the price of Super Poli-Grip is for this show.

The whole Barker's Beauties thing has always creeped me out (Stepford wives just aren't my thing). It bugged me even more after the sexual harassment suit and firing one of the models for gaining about 15 pounds (allegedly of course). Today, I heard Bob tell contestants to take a look at what Fire had for them to bid on. Fire? Have we started recruiting American Gladiatiors to be Barker's Beauties now? I'm worried that next we'll have Blaze and Laser carrying out..."A new car!!!!"

Finally, has the audience finally made the transition to full-blown "Let's Make A Deal" mode? Everyone has a shirt just for the occasion so that they can show off whatever their cause is or get a little more camera time by having something cute about Bob Barker on the shirt. When you stop to think about it, this show really was the beginning of what would become reality TV: people who may or may not care about why they are actually there, trying to get on television and maybe win something. There's not much difference between these people and the ones on Big Brother, when it comes down to it.

Yeah, I'm complaining a bunch, but hey at least it's not Judge Judy or Jerry Springer. The reality of it is that whether there are problems with the show or not, people watch. People watch because they can play along and because it allows them to feel like they could do better that the actual contestants. You don't have to be able to spell or work out word puzzles (Wheel of Fortune). You don't have to have an encyclopedic knowledge base (Jeopardy). You don't have to put up with that guy who used to be Al on Home Improvement (Family Feud). You just have to be better than someone else at guessing a price. In the end, it's the everyman game, and I guess that's what its appeal is.

Until later...

Trivial Tuesday

Let's go with a little TV trivia today.

A certain television doctor has said that he feels guilty "being paid more to become a fake version of my own father." Who is this actor and what is the show?

Post the answer as a comment and show off your mighty trivia powers.

Update: From the other side of the globe comes Laziest Girl with the answer to the question. The quote is from Hugh Laurie who plays Dr. Greg House on House.

A Fount of Useless Information Holiday Special:

With apologies to Clement Clarke Moore...actually with apologies to anyone who has ever written any poetry, I give you:

A Visit From Booker Claus

Twas a few days after Thanksgiving, and in my neighborhood
Not a scrap was uneaten; at least nothing good.

The new Christmas tree sat over there, in the corner
The sparkling white lights waiting to adorn her.

MK in her hoodie, and I feeling fat
Sat down to watch Simpsons. Or something like that.

Into the room pranced the world's strangest sight
I laughed and guffawed. I roared with delight.

There in front of the tree, sitting straight up
Was a big-eared black dog, barely a pup.

On his head sat a hat, round his neck was a cape
My jaw then did slacken. My mouth was agape.

"Quick take a picture" I exclaimed with great relish.
"I'll use it on my blog. It's lately been dullish."

I couldn't believe the sight that I'd seen.
A visit from Booker Claus is so super-keen.

Laying a paw across his long snout
He scratched at an itch and then barged right out.

And I heard him exclaim as he stormed off to bed,
"I've had enough. Get this hat off my head."

"I am the dog and you are the human
Even though you're as fat as the postman named Newman."

"I'm a proud canine hunter. I shall not be shamed
In your holiday pictures, so festively framed."

"I do not wear hats, have a beard or wear boots
I don't answer to Santa and I don't wear red suits."

"Stop dressing me up. I'm a dog not a doll
The next person to clothe me, I promise, I'll maul."

"You're the one who wears clothing from your head to your feet
Now stop this absurdity and give me a treat."

Happy beginning of the holiday season.

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

I realize that most people who want to see it already have, but I'll go ahead and give my two cents on the latest Potter flick, anyway. A few spoilerish things might find their way in there, so use caution.

Before the film even started, we had a couple of very interesting trailers: Lady in the Water and Superman Returns. (We also had King Kong, but I'd seen that one about twenty times already.) Both of them were teasers really, and gave away little about the films.

The teaser for Superman Returns gave us only a second or two of footage at a time, but also gave us voice over from Jor-El explaining why he was sending his son to Earth. Bryan Singer has a good track record, so I'm looking forward to this even if the big blue Boy Scout isn't my favorite.

Lady in the Water is the latest film from M. Night Shyamalan, who has made intriguing films, but never anything that has lived up to the enormous potential shown in The Sixth Sense. The teaser for his latest showed almost nothing, but was still (in my opinion at least) wonderfully put together. The trailer showed Paul Giamatti in a few everyday situations (working as a handyman at a hotel or apartment building, writing, watching TV) over music that set a mood that was magical and in direct opposition to the normalcy of the images. Just a few words on the screen, then a clip of Giamatti noticing something in the pool. Finally the title card, "Lady in the Water a Bedtime Story from M. Night Shyamalan" followed by an image of Giamatti as seen from underwater. I would hate to get my hopes up, because the trailers for all of Shyamalan's last three films have been better than the films themselves (which isn't to say I didn't like the movies), but this was a wonderful teaser. I know almost nothing about the movie, and I excited to see it. Oh well, on with the main attraction.

For the third time in four films, we have a new director. The Goblet of Fire was the first foray into the Potter universe for Mike Newell. I have to admit that I was a little worried when I heard that Newell was directing. After all, his last film was the retch-inducing Mona Lisa Smile, a film that I could never discuss without using the term "ham-fisted"...mostly because it was. While Newell brought his own style to the series, none of his directorial decisions changed the feel or intent of the story itself. My worries about the new director aside, the movie turned out pretty well with a few exceptions.

As has been pointed out elsewhere, this is a large book that has been turned into a movie between two and half and three hours long. Some things simply had to go. This did cause some problems, such as the inclusion of Rita Skeeter here and there without any real purpose. With her subplot removed as it was, she could have been left out of the film entirely. Also, the subject of how exactly Barty Crouch came to be free was never addressed which left a gaping hole in the plot. One thing that was shortened for time (and almost certainly money) was the Quidditch World Cup. It's a shame too, because even the short scene they included was awe-inspiring. However, I won't quibble over what got cut or shortened because there was just too much to include.

While the effects were impressive and it moved the plot along just like it should have, the best feature of the film was the way it so perfectly captured the painful awkwardness of being a teenager. Whether it's dealing with finding a date for the ball, finally realizing that your friend is, in fact a girl, or the torment handed out by the more fortunate but less scrupulous students, Newell captures this part better than either Columbus or Cuaron did in the previous films.

As with the previous films, Rupert Grint and Emma Watson stole the show. That isn't saying anything bad about Daniel Radcliffe in particular, but rather that the characters of Ron and Hermione have so much more to work with than the Radcliffe's eponymous one. The addition of Mad-Eye Moody also gave the film yet another excellent adult character to go along with the kids. Children's books and movies or not, I look forward to the next book and the next film.

So, where does it fall on the Potter scale? At this point, I still believe that Prisoner of Azkaban is the best film and that Chamber of Secrets would have to be last. I'm not sure where to place this one in relation to the original. It almost certainly was a better film than the Sorcerer's Stone (or Philosopher's Stone if you aren't from a place where they fear children would be bored by the word Philosopher), but that first film has a sense of wonder and newness that manage to lift it up despite some of its flaws. Perhaps with more time I'll figure out where it should rank, but for now I'll place Goblet of Fire right there with Sorcerer's Stone, making them a combined 2nd of the four films.

One last thing, I'm sure Voldemort was scary to some of the audience members younger than me, but I couldn't really think of anything other than how weird it was to see Ralph Fiennes without a nose.

Until later...

The Fount of Useless Information's Nashi Pear Pie

I absolutely love Asian (or Nashi) Pears. They have a great crisp consistency like the best apples and have a gentle sweet taste. I figured there had to be a way to make an excellent pie out of them, but I haven't seen a recipe. I didn't make this for Thanksgiving, because it's a new recipe that is still in development. It did turn out pretty well, so I'll go ahead and share with you. I'm sure there are still ways to improve it, but here is the first iteration of the recipe.

2 store bought pie crusts (Yeah, I cheated; get over it. You want to make the crust yourself, go ahead. I'm sure that would be better, but I had no idea how this would work the first time.)

Filling:
3 large Asian Pears
1/2 cup sugar
1/4 teaspoon nutmeg (freshly grated)
1/4 teaspoon cinnamon (freshly ground or grated)
1/4 to 1/2 teaspoon ground ginger


Peel the pears, the skin can be tough and bitter, overwhelming the subtle flavor of the pears. Quarter and core each pear, then cut it into thin slices (you can get as many as 40 slices out of a single large pear). Place the slices in a large bowl and coat with sugar and spices. Toss the pears with the sugar and spice. Allow the mixture to sit for about 30 minutes, tossing once.

Preheat oven to 375° F.

Press one pie crust into the bottom of a 9-inch pie pan. Add sugar and spice coated pears to the pie pan, taking care to evenly distribute the pears. Cover with second crust and cut several vents to allow steam to escape.

Place pie pan on cookie sheet to catch any overflow and bake at 375° F for approximately 50 minutes, covering the edge of the crust with foil after about 15-20 minutes. After removing from the oven, allow the pie to rest for around 20 minutes before cutting.

I'll probably keep working on this and trying to improve it, but there it is for now. I hope that if any of you try it, you like it. If not: sorry.

(Sorry, no photo: I didn't have the presence of mind to take a picture before we cut it, and I didn't cut it so much as multilate it.)

Until later...

Thanksgiving

Rather than getting all sappy and telling you what I'm thankful for, it's time for the Family Feud^*. Really, what better day for a family feud than Thanksgiving, when people get together regardless of their feelings for one another. Add the wait for a meal, the stress of trying to get everything cooked in time and, in some cases, a little alcohol and feud might be an understatement. On to the feud:

One contestant gave the same answer to the following three questions in the final round before running out of time:

Something people take with them to the beach.

The first thing you pick up at the store.

A food often stuffed.

Do you know what his answer was?


Turkey!!! Yeah, they didn't win.


Have a happy Thanksgiving everybody! And if you aren't from the US, have a happy Thursday!

Now if you'll excuse me, I've got a pie to bake.

^*Yes, I know it was actually Family Fortunes rather than Family Feud, but that didn't work as well with the slightly more tongue-in-cheek direction I was going. No, I wasn't saying that the Thanksgivings in my family are actually like that. It was a joke. What is it with you people.

It's Like There's A Party In My Mouth And Everybody's Throwing Up!

We had to go to Target last night, and as a bribe to keep me from whining MK bought me some of the new Choxie chocolates. When I decided to write this post, I went to the Target website to find info about Choxie and discovered that there was nothing about it there. It's as if they are embarrassed about it. And they should be.

We bought a bag of assorted meltaways. The candies came in four flavors: deep dark chocolate, mint cookie crunch, espresso and raspberry lemon biscotti. I'll describe each of the flavors and rate them individually and then give a final result. The ratings will be on a scale of 1-10 with 1 being "please cut out my tongue to make it stop" and 10 being "magically delicious."

Deep dark chocolate: It's not exactly a strong chocolate flavor and has an aftertaste that reminds me of cough syrup. The chocolate itself has the consistency of a Crayola, but is relatively smooth for all its waxyness. Rating: 4

Mint cookie crunch: The mint flavoring is actually distinguishable as peppermint. The cookie crunch, on the other hand is completely unidentifiable as anything other than something crunchy. For all I know, it could be broken glass. The mint flavor is strong enough to overpower the bad chocolate, making this the best of the bunch. Rating: 5

Espresso: I couldn't really evaluate this one. Given my aversion to all things coffee, I gnawed off half of one piece and decided that I had tried enough. Surprisingly, it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Rating: 4

Raspberry lemon biscotti: Ah, lemon-scented Pledge with notes of bath soap. The grainy biscotti pieces add that special something that all confections on earth have been missing. Not fit for human consumption. Rating: 2

My advice? Stay away. If you want bad to mediocre chocolate, you can get it much cheaper at any grocery store. If that's what you want, spend a fraction of the price and go get a Hershey bar. For the same price as Choxie, you could easily get a nice selection of much better chocolate that won't end up being thrown away only half eaten.

I know, we're all shocked that Target could let us down in making chocolate, but it's true. Though the packaging is eye catching, so it's got that going for it.

Until later...

Trivial Tuesday

It's almost Thanksgiving. I'm having a hard time making it through this short work week. How is it that three days can seem so much longer than five? Oh well, let's move on with the trivia. The theme this week is (predictably) Thanksgiving.

Thanksgiving in the US has bounced around from time to time moving from the last Thursday in November to the next to last and back again. It wasn't until Congress declared Thanksgiving as a national holiday taking place on the fourth Thursday of November that things finally settled down. What year did this act of Congress finally happen?

In researching this to make sure I had my facts straight, I was amused to find that during the time when there was discussion over whether it would be the last or next to last Thursday, some states just took both as a holiday. Why couldn't that have been the final decision? That is the true spirit of compromise. Double the time off work. Double the turkey. Double the pie. Everybody wins. Except the turkey, I suppose.

Bonus Question: According to the Thanksgiving Song by Adam Sandler, whose fans can't be wrong? "Eat that turkey, all night long. 50 million _____ fans can't be wrong."


Usual rules apply. Post your answer to the question and/or bonus question in the comments section to win Turkey day bragging rights.

Call Me Winter...Winter...Winter...

I'll introduce this post with yet another one act play from my life. Eventually, I'll put all of these together into a very boring and uninteresting screenplay which is certain to win an Oscar.

Local Weather Man: Enjoy the 40's while they last, because there's snow coming later this week.

CK: Snow again? I don't want it to snow.

MK: (Makes noncommittal noise)

CK: Why does it have to snow?

MK: Um...because we live in Michigan.

Can't someone feel sorry for me. I know I live in Michigan and it's November, but I deserve a little sympathy. If nothing else, I deserve for someone to listen to me whining without pointing out the obvious. There's a reason no one ever sang a song about dreaming of a white Thanksgiving.

Oh well, at least the snow will cover up the lawn.

Until later...

Book Review: Rammer Jammer Yellow Hammer

From the beginning, Rammer Jammer Yellow Hammer was a book that really hit home for me. The author, Warren St. John, was originally from the Birmingham, Alabama area but had left the area (and the South) for school and then a career (replace Birmingham with Huntsville and that's not too far off for me). Like me, he was raised a fan of the University of Alabama and still has a love for Crimson Tide football.

Using this perspective (Bama fans can be some of the most deranged, for better or worse), St. John embarks on a fascinating journey into what makes the mind of a fan work the way it does. What causes the automatic "Us vs. Them" reaction? What causes the crowd mentality? What makes us want to cheer for a group of guys we have never met and might not even like if we ever did?

St. John spends a season among the RV'ers, a hardcore group of fans that drive motor homes to every game and spend a couple of days at what amounts to an extended tailgate party. We follow him through his trials in getting accepted into the group, meeting the various characters that ride this crazy circuit, through the ups and downs of a rollercoaster of a football season: 1999, which started with the coach getting sued for sexual harassment (bad), included a loss to Louisiana Tech (very bad), an overtime win against Florida (good) coached by Steve Spurrier (making it even better), a loss to Tennessee (bad for what felt like the 20th year in a row), a win at Auburn (very good), and another win over Florida for the SEC championship (also very good). We meet people involved with every aspect of the game other than the game itself. Ticket brokers? Yep. Students? Of course. Sports writers? Them too. Insane fans? By the score.

As I read the book, I was struck by the feeling that I know these people. Fine I didn't know these people. I didn't know Skipper, Chicken Man, the Heart Guy or the Bices, but I know these people. I've sat next to them at games. I've talked with them about the teams chances when I hardly knew them at all. A few years ago, on a flight from Cleveland where I had just gone for a job interview, I was seated directly behind a guy wearing a University of Alabama cap. That was all the help the conversation needed to get started, so that we could find out that we were both Northern Alabama ex-pats living in the same area of the Midwest. The hat immediately said, "one of us."

Throughout the book, Warren St. John tells his story with intelligence and humor. He is telling the story of being a fan, but with the full knowledge that this fandom is an unrealistic place. The fan is mocked and exalted on the same page, by the only person who can accurately explain both sides of the argument, a fan.

While I have never risked missing an organ transplant, or skipped a loved one's wedding because of a football game (hey, I was even in a friend's wedding during the Iron Bowl a few years ago...you know who you are), I loved this book and have to recommend it to anyone who is a fan or loves a fan.

Until later...

Where are you? Place a pin on the map.

Dear Sioux City

Dear reader from Sioux City,

You came here by searching in Google for "Michelle Rodriguez can't act." First of all, welcome to the site. Second, yes, you are correct. She can't act. I'm glad we share this opinion. Come back soon and we can discuss whether or not Mariah Carey lost all musical ability when she lost her mind.

Until later,

Management

It's Been A Long Time, I Shouldn't Have Left You...

...without a good post to amuse you.

I realized that I really haven't posted anything since last Saturday. Sure I posted a trivia question, but that doesn't really count. Other than that, I posted a quick two line thing about Progressive Car Insurance. My last real post was the list of recent searches.

I suppose I could have posted more of those. I could make fun of people who are trying to find information about Star Wars Battlefront, but type "Star Wars Battle Fount" and end up here. I could point out that people wanted to know "random facts about boys", and tell them to go ask their mother. I could even say that someone must have been very confused when looking for "a way to impress your feelings when someone dies." (Dude, if you're out there reading this, (1) you probably meant repress not impress and (2) get help, that's not healthy.)

But I won't. I just don't have the motivation to do much of anything here.

Go, Go Gadget Apathy!

Seriously, I'm running low on ideas and motivation, so you're not getting much here beyond a few random thoughts. Sorry. (Feel free to email with ideas, preferably with fully written posts that I can plagiarize, for future topics)

-I'm sick of winter already. It snowed for the first time a couple days ago, and I'm ready for Spring.

-What's the deal with franchising television shows? We have 8 Law & Orders and 6 CSI's. If this continues, I'm writing a pilot for CSI:Cheyenne complete with Christopher Walken as the sheriff investigating cattle mutilations, and chicken stealing.

-It's deer hunting season here. Actually, it's one of the deer hunting seasons here. I've never gone deer hunting, so I'm not really clear on the concept of why we have multiple seasons. We have bow hunting season, followed by muzzle loader season, followed by rifle hunting. It seems almost as if we are helping with natural selection. First, kill the really stupid and slow, then less stupid and less slow, then just the average ones. Finally, all that's left are the much faster and much more intelligent deer. Chuck Darwin would be proud. The one that really gets me is the muzzle loader season. Is this for people who sit around thinking, "I wonder how much fun it would have been to hunt a deer during the Civil War?" Next, we'll have a club hunting season, where you have to sneak up behind the deer and bash it over the head, Unfrozen Caveman Hunter style. (Did that work? It was either Unfrozen Caveman Hunter or Captain Caaaavemaaan...and son.)

-The new Harry Potter movie starts today. This means that we'll have a whole new round of hysteria over the whole thing. The last time one of these movies came out, we went to see it and saw all sorts of people (children and adults) dressed up like characters. Is this a phenomenon that started with Star Wars and Star Trek? I just have a hard time imagining people fifty years ago getting dressed up as Nathan Detroit and Sky Masterson to go see Guys and Dolls.

-The most depressing "people dressed up for a movie" incident was when we went to the theater and saw a group of late teen or early twenties guys dressed in civil war regalia to go see Gods and Generals. At least they didn't have to worry about scaring anyone else off, since they were the only people willing to pay to sit through it.

-These were supposed to be random, but I seem to focusing on one topic here. Oh well. After all that talk about dressing up for movies, I'm starting to think that maybe I should join in the fun. In case you don't recognize me, I'll be the one in the monkey suit December 16th. Unless, that is, I manage to lose a few pounds and fit into that costume for the Aeon Flux premiere.

Until later...

Trivial Tuesday

Last week's question dealt with John Carpenter, the first person to win on the American version of Who Wants to Be A Millionaire. I figure, why mess with a good thing? We'll stick with the subject of John Carpenter this week.

In John Carpenter's 1986 movie, Big Trouble in Little China, Kurt Russel plays the arrogant trucker, Jack Burton. His love interest, Gracie Law, was played by an actress who would become much more famous for her television role years later. Who was that actress?

Post your answer in the comments section, and just remember what ol' Jack Burton says at a time like this...

Update: Wow. We had two answers posted within seconds of each other. So, congratulations to Fat Chunk and MHN for Short who both gave the correct answer of Kim Catrall.

And oh yeah, add yourself to the map of readers.

Commercial Confusion

Am I insane, or did I just see a commercial for Progressive where they suggested "Playa Hata Insurance"?

Did they really pay someone to come up with this?

Recent Searches

Here are a few of the more interesting search engine keywords used to find this site over the past three or four days. As a public service, I have attempted to provide the appropriate information for each search term. I hope that this is of some help to all of the people out there searching using the following terms:

Joke Microbiologist: Yep, that's me. At least that's what my boss keeps telling me.

Useless information to impress your friends: The giant Asian hornet likes to send out a scout to mark the location of honeybee hives and then send back a group of hornets to kill the bees and steal the larva. Some native bees have a special defense against these hornets. When the scout comes to the bee hive, the bees swarm it and trap it before beginning to move around rapidly. The hornet is trapped inside a ball of wiggling bees where the temperature rises until it reaches a point where the hornet is killed. In essence, the scout hornet is cooked by the jiggling, wriggling and wiggling of the bees. (Thank you National Geographic special for teaching me this.) If this doesn't qualify as useless information and it doesn't impress your friends, you are either an entomologist or your friends are not nearly nerdy enough.

When is Paris and Nicky coing to so Simple Life 3: How can I answer the question if I can't understand it? Is that even English? The worst part is I'm the first site to come up on this search.

Useless interesting information: Wait a second here, buddy. Useless? Sure. Information? Right. But I have never promised interesting. That would be false advertising.

http://thefount.blogspot.com: Oddly, this site is the first one to come up when you search for this in google.

Random stupid facts: Sure thing. I can handle that. The human head weighs eight pounds. Dogs and bees can smell fear. Cuba Gooding Jr. has an Oscar.

Coworker fashion: If you want to tell your coworkers what to wear, that's fine. Just don't look to me for advice, because, as my coworkers could tell you, I often look like I got dressed in the dark.

Useless mole information: A mole is 6.022 X 10²³ particles (atoms, molecules, etc.). Moles are darker than the surrounding skin because of a higher concentration of melanin. Moles can really mess up your lawn, and appear often on the television show 24.

Gaiman Albuquerque visit: No, I'm sorry. Neil didn't get to go with us on our trip out west. I didn't even think to invite him. Do you think he would have accepted?

Odd useless random rude facts: I wish I could help you there. Unfortunately, I make a concerted effort not to ever be rude on this site, so you won't find anything of that nature here. What? Stop laughing. I meant it. Stop it now!

Until later...

It Is November 10th, Right?

Last night I was in the car on my way to go get a haircut, when I noticed something odd. Just a couple of blocks from our house I noticed a house that seemed quite festive. As I got closer, I saw that they house was completely outlined in hanging "icicle" lights, a tree in the front lawn had been fully decorated and they had an enormous inflatable snowglobe next to the house. I have nothing against Christmas decorations, but it might have been a bit much...if it were December. I actually looked at the date display on my watch to confirm that, yes, it was the 10th of November.

How can you have your Christmas decorations up already? If I had decorated for Halloween, I wouldn't even have those decorations taken down yet. I can understand that stores have Christmas products available earlier, but decorating the house at this point just seems excessive.

On a related note, one of the local radio stations has started playing Christmas music. I don't mean a song hear or there. We're talking about from now until the first of the year, there will be nothing but Christmas music on this station. This means two things: 1. You will hear the same songs over and over on that station. Believe me, there is a limit to how many times one can listen to the Chipmunks singing "All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth." (And that limit is pretty low.) 2. Even with a high rate of repeats, there is not enough to fill two months with nothing but decent Christmas songs, so they will play some horrible versions of traditional songs and some very obscure non-traditional ones. My personal favorites include the song in which a woman asks Santa to get rid of all the bombs (oddly, Santa wasn't nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize that year) and of course, "I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas." (Yes, it's real, and it's spectacular. Listen and learn here.)

Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go decorate my house for Valentines Day.

Until later...

The peer pressure to add yourself to the map will continue until further notice.

Feeling Lost

The following post will be about the television show Lost. If you did not watch last night's episode (Abandoned) and do not want to know anything about what happened, you should stop reading now.


I mean it. Don't look.


So, last night was the super gigantic "someone's gonna die" episode. I had read many times in many places who it was, but it still sucked that it was true. I happened to like Shannon. She was one of the characters who had changed for the better throughout the course of the show. When we first met her, she was doing nothing but lounge around demanding that her step-brother wait on her hand and foot. We watched her exert her independence by having using other people to do her bidding. She rapidly became one of the most readily hateable characters on the show. As season 1 progressed, we began to see more strength come out in her. When Sayid asked for help, she was reluctant but pushed on. The more it became evident that someone was willing to put faith in her, the more she showed she was willing to do. Eventually, Boone died and she lost her last tie to her life off the island as well as her last tie to her former dependence. She became stronger and eventually showed her strength by admitting to Sayid in the season finale that she needed help.

Last night, we saw through her flashbacks how exactly she became the manipulative person we saw when she first arrived on the island and in Boone's flashbacks. After her father died (because Jack ignored people's pleas for him to stop working on Sarah and help the man who was about to die), Shannon's stepmother cut her off from all of her father's money. When she asked for help getting started so that she could take a prestigious internship in New York, her stepmother still refused, telling her that she couldn't do it, that she would only quit again. She went to Boone for help, but quickly realized that he had no faith in her either. The only way was for her to come up with a plan to make money herself. How better than by manipulating the people who refused to believe her? The Shannon we first met was damaged, weak and vindictive. The Shannon we had by the end of this episode was stronger and reaching out to Sayid for someone to believe in her. She needed him and she needed him to believe that she had seen Walt.

Unfortunately, it was too late because as she ran through the jungle after the creepy wet backward-talking Walt, she came into direct contact with the tail section survivors and Ana Lucia. Spooked, Ana Lucia fired and killed her. The raftaways, tail section and main survivors are all now reunited, but judging by the look of pure hatred in Sayid's eyes, Ana Lucia has made a serious enemy.

A few more brief notes:

-Everyone seems to like the character of Mr. Eko. I think he's been great so far, but I'm a little worried since we know nothing of his background. He may turn out to be a completely horrible person, but we are being led to like him before they reveal it.

-I truly wish Ana Lucia was the character to die. Michelle Rodriguez can't act, and her character is by far the most annoying one on the show. That said, she has a flashback episode in two weeks and the writers may pull off the reverse of what I just suggested for Eko. Perhaps we will be able to understand her better and not want her kidnapped or killed by the others. Then again, maybe she needs to watch out for bamboo under the fingernails; just ask Sawyer about that.

-My biggest issue with Shannon dying (other than that I had grown to like her) is that it really was not much of a risk. She didn't have a central role. Yes, she was one of the main 14, but it would have been a much greater impact if someone like Jack died.

-I'm very interested to see what happens when they show the history of the tail section survivors next week. They went Lord of the Flies much more rapidly than the first group. With Ana Lucia running the show, it's as if this is what would have happened to the front section group if they had allowed Sawyer to be in charge.

It's going to be long week.


Until later...

The Bacon Dilemma

Two nights ago, it was BLT time for dinner (apologies to the following groups if they happen to be reading: vegetarians, anti-pig folks and my doctor). MK was preparing the bacon while I got other things ready. Open the fridge, take out the bread, you know...the strenuous stuff.

After removing some bacon from the pan, she poured the grease into a can so that it could harden somewhere other than the skillet before disposal. To make sure I didn't do anything stupid with the can (pick it up, knock it over, kick it), she decided to inform me of what she was doing. "Hey," she said, "just so you know, I've got a fat can right here."

You see, this is where we reach the dilemma. I had a wonderful opportunity to pretend to be spontaneously witty and make myself laugh. We all know I rarely pass up a chance to do that. On the other hand, there are some things you don't joke about, and the size of a woman's posterior is one of them. It doesn't matter if you believe it or not, the joke is off limits. Even if she did just say, "I have a fat can." Unless of course, you enjoy the feeling of hot bacon grease on your face.

Fortunately for me, after about 10 seconds of my pained indecision, she realized what she had said and started laughing. I took this as a good sign and laughed at the situation too. We both had a good laugh, and I didn't have to make the decision after all.

I never did make that joke though. I didn't want to press my luck.

Until later...

Trivial Tuesday

Who Wants To Be A Millionaire is showing on the Game Show Network. The first contestant to win a million dollars on the US version was John Carpenter (not the director) who didn't use a life line until the final question, when he called his father to tell him that he was about to win. What US president was the answer to that final question?

Post the answer in the comments section and brag to your friends.

Update: Congrats to Esther for providing the correct answer of Richard Nixon. She earns bonus points for giving the question as well. The bragging rights are all yours.

Sorry for the slow update.

Until later...

Round The Old Oak Tree

It seems that just about everything has a ribbon now. I've seen them for almost every cause from supporting troop to breast cancer to AIDS awareness to jock itch. The giant magnetic ribbons that you put on your car are simply everywhere now.

I was at the grocery store a couple days ago and saw a truck parked a few places away from me with a ribbon that wasn't quite like any other I had seen. As I walked past on my way into the store, I found myself wishing I had brought my camera because the ribbon the side of the truck said, "I Like Ribbons." I laughed and figured that was an amusing one time occurrence of finding someone else who is getting sick of this fad.

Then a link to this site was emailed to me today. A place where I can create my own ribbon magnet! How brilliant is that? I'm having much more fun than I should making my very own. Soon you'll see me driving around town with ribbons all over my car like this one or this one. Ok fine, maybe I'm not really buying them and maybe I still think they are tacky and won't put any on my car, but I can only hope that the open mocking of the magnet ribbons is indicating the coming end of this hideous fad.

Until later...

I Hate To Let Down My Readers

I checked my email earlier this evening, only to find the following comment waiting in my inbox:

"michaelsean said...

I was hoping you has watched Category 7 and included your sagely wisdom upon it. Alas."

After the wonder that was Locusts (the inspiration for a running diary and the source of a great many hits), I began contemplating a running diary of Category 7 as soon as I saw the first commercial. In fact, it was the subject of great debate in my house since we returned home from vacation. I was tired, had no desire to watch it and didn't feel like I had the energy to write about it. MK, on the other hand, felt it was a once in a lifetime (or maybe six-month time frame) chance. The first hurdle was schedule; fortunately, it didn't conflict with the Simpsons. I could handle missing most shows for this, but not the Treehouse of Horror. I began thinking about it more and pretty much became convinced that it was a good idea until I read the synopsis on TV Guide. It had four words that changed everything: "Part one of two." It was one thing to suffer through it while not feeling too inspired, but I just couldn't commit to doing it two weeks (and I certainly couldn't stop halfway through). So the final decision was made to skip Category 7 and hope no one would notice.

So, Michael Sean (and anyone else who hoped for a skewering of really bad TV movies), sorry for letting you down. If it makes you feel any better, as soon as I told MK about the comment, she said, "See, I told you that you needed to blog about it." Now, I've not only let my readers down, I have to admit she was right, and I'm not sure which is worse.

Until later...

Don't forget to add yourself to the map.

On The Subject of Jarhead

I haven't seen the movie Jarhead yet. I'm pretty much indifferent about whether or not I actually see it. However, I did think I should share a conversation we had when the trailer came on TV the other day.

[Television is on and the trailer for Jarhead begins]

MK: It looks like they did a good job with that.

CK: Really? Yeah, I suppose it might be interesting.

MK: Well, they at least did a good job of making Jake Gyllenhaal look like a man for this movie.

Mark it down, people. I let someone else have a punch line in a post. It doesn't happen too often.

Seriously, I don't get the idea of Jake as an action hero in any movie. They keep trying, but I don't buy it (please insert your own Brokeback Mountain joke here). He looks like he should still be asking his big sister's boyfriend to buy him cigarettes. To make him a convincing soldier would be a pretty impressive feat (a convincing movie soldier, that is. I'm aware real soldiers don't always look like the hero in a movie. I don't want realism. I want movie realism.)

Also, when the tagline, "Welcome to the suck," comes up, am I the only one that half expects it to be written as "teh suck"? It's as if some leet-spewing prepubescent boy who just fragged his best friend in Doom 3 for the first time wrote the tagline for them. "U R teh suck!!!!1!1!! W00T!!"

Am I rambling? I'm out of practice with this blogging thing. I think I should have shut up after the conversation about the trailer. Too late now. Changing it would involve effort, and I'm lazy.

Until later...

Go on, put yourself on the map.

A Narcissist And A Thief

I'm stealing this from James, the Malibu librarian of Books Beaches and Blather fame, and I'm not ashamed. Not at all.

Check out the Fount of Useless Information Readers Map and put yourself on it. You can add a photo (or not). You can give me a shout out (or not). Whether you usually comment or don't, go ahead and put yourself on the map. You know you want to.

Until later...

Home Again, Home Again

After a very long, very unpleasant day of traveling yesterday, we arrived home just as the clock in our house stuck midnight.

On our way down to the Albuquerque airport, we stopped for breakfast at the Tecolote Cafe in Santa Fe. They have an absolutely wonderful breakfast burrito, smothered in green chile. Now I understand why MK's dad says they stop there for breakfast anytime they have to go to Albuquerque. Plus, I got this shirt there.



Yep, I'm still a dork.

A few more thoughts on the trip home:

It really makes me upset that airlines will make a mistake, but not try to make it up to you. Instead, they will make you fly standby. If we had wanted to fly standby, our tickets would not have been purchased months in advance. Somehow, the airlines wonder why they are all on the verge of going bankrupt. Let me give you a hint...It's because we all hate you. If there were any better way to get from point A to point B, most people would take it, because there are so many problems with the industry right now. That's as much as I am going to rant about this now, but it may come up again.

Something needs to be done about parking at O'Hare. I'm honestly surprised that the signs telling you the prices for long-term parking do not say "Pound of Flesh" or "First Born Child." I was upset about this to begin with, but then saw that there were multiple lots around the airport in Albuquerque advertising prices under $2.00 a day for stays of 7 or more days. I realize that I comparing things that aren't really equivalent, but I'm annoyed...let me gripe. When we made it back to Chicago last night, I actually had to give them all the cash I had plus two pints of blood to get my car out of the lot.

On the ticket for parking at O'Hare, it stated that a lost ticket would be charged at full rate of a 24 hour stay. Remind me again why I didn't "accidentally" lose it while on this trip. Oh yeah, because that's not who I am. Honesty can be expensive.

The worst part about the long day of travel is that once we made it back to Chicago, we still had about three hours of driving to go. I probably would not have bothered to get up until very late today, if at all, except that we needed to go pick up Booker from the dog resort where he spent his vacation. Apparently, the beast is glad to be home too.


Until later...

Last Two Pictures...At Least For Now

Sorry for turning this into a photoblog recently. Now that I'm home (read more here), I'll try to think up something witty to say.

For now, you'll have to be satisfied with a couple more photos. Unlike almost all of the others, which were taken by MK, these are mine.

Sky Through Aspens taken on Pajarito Mountain

Flower in The Desert taken on the trail to Windows in The Earth at Rancho de San Juan.

Until later...

White Sands

Some pictures of our visit to White Sands National Monument during our trip to New Mexico.






Unfortunately, we had didn't have a sled, so we couldn't go sliding down the dunes. That's actually a lot of fun and nowhere near as cold as sledding in the snow.

I'm Average

From the Weblog Review: "In the end, I really wanted to like this site. Useless is sort of my specialty, throwing practical knowledge out the door and preferring things that won't get you anywhere. However, after going through the site, I have no choice but to label it average."

Read more.