From The Home Office in Crazytown

Have you heard about this yet? It appears that some woman in New Mexico has managed to get a restraining order against David Letterman. I don't know that the two have ever met, but she is claiming that Letterman has been harassing her through secret messages, code words and gestures during his show. To prevent this from continuing, Letterman is not permitted within three yards of her and is forbidden to think of her. Honey, I've got news for you: You just found the one way to make sure he's thinking of you. And it's not happy thoughts.

I'm unsure why a judge would possibly give a restraining order, even a temporary one, to this woman. Not because she's insane and thinks that he means her when he says Oprah. Not because if she wasn't insane and this were true, she could simply not watch the show and it would all be over. I'm confused about the restraining order, because this is clearly all her fault. You see, this all began when she started "sending thoughts of love" to Letterman over ten years ago. He quickly became obsessed and, according to her, began harassing her. Really though, what can you expect? If you are going to telepathically give love to a complete stranger, you have to prepare yourself for the potential that they won't be able to draw the line. The last time I attempted something like that Salma Hayek wouldn't leave me alone for at least three years. Why else do you think she took that role in Frida? The acclaim? Please. It was so awkward to see her talking to the press about Edward Norton and know that she was really using her code name for me. The difference is that I didn't go to court and make a big deal out of it. These are the risks you take when you mix ESP and celebrities.

I actually can't understand how she could get a restraining order for this when so many people who need to protect themselves from people like her have trouble obtaining them before things have escalated too far. In my opinion, that is the real crime here.

Until later...