Look What They've Done Now

Last week, the temperatures here were up in the 80's. It was warm. It was dry. It was sunny. All was right with the world. Then came the weekend, and it all went straight down the toilet. On Friday the temperatures began to drop, and on Saturday it started snowing. Snowing!!! It didn't stop snowing until late in the day on Sunday. Fortunately the ground was still quite warm from the earlier weather, so we didn't have much in the way of accumulation, but I still had to get the snow brush back out to clean off the 3-4 inches of snow covering my car. So far this week, the temperatures have moved all the way up into the 40's and it's windy and rainy.

I realize that I live in Michigan so I shouldn't expect warm weather until July and I should only expect it to last through August, but why, why why must I be tormented with a taste of such wonderful weather followed by this awful, dismal, gray, cold, windy stuff we have now?

I've been thinking about this for the past several days and have narrowed it down to two reasons.

1. Someone has done something to upset Mother Nature, and she is showing wrath in the weather patterns.

2. It's not just weather patterns, and some of the towns in Michigan are more aptly named than I realized.

Right now, I'm leaning toward the first reason. Not only that, but I think I know why. I discovered it in the grocery store recently. As I walked through the produce section, I spotted it, sitting right next to the apples. The Grapple. No, not grapple, as in the verb meaning to grasp, but Grapple. Pronounced (according to the packaging and the website) as grape-L. The package has a seemingly harmless slogan, "Looks like an apple. Tastes like a grape." First of all, is the look of an apple that much more appetizing than a grape? Second, if I want something that tastes like a grape, why wouldn't I eat grapes? Oh, right because they don't look like apples. Sorry, I forgot. But why not go for something more useful: "Looks like an apple. Tastes like chocolate." or "Looks like a brussel sprout. Tastes like a grape."? Really, what kid isn't going to shell out the extra couple of bucks for brussel sprouts that taste like grapes? It pleases his parents, yet doesn't have the same effect as syrup of ipecac. Let's move on from the marketing issues here and get back to the real point. This abomination* is the root of the problem. Someone wasn't satisfied with apples or grapes the way they are and had to find a way to improve them. They are the ones responsible for this weather. That's right Grapple company, I'm blaming you. You messed around with Mother Nature, and now she's pissed and taking it out on me.

Until later...

*In the interest of full disclosure, The Fount would like to point out that the Grapple is simply a Fuji apple soaked in water and "Concord grape flavoring", and is probably not a crime against nature. This does not mean that we are not far too afraid to try the Grapple or that we are willing to pay the price that seemed more suitable on a product which "Looks like a lobster. Tastes like lobster."