Friday Film Festival Vol. 4

Short on time, so we have an abbreviated edition of F3 this week.

It seems that Chris Rock is of the opinion that straight men don't watch the Oscars.

I'm aware he's attempting to be funny, because that's what Chris Rock does. However, that does make wonder if I should be concerned that I took this quiz and got 11/12...and that was only because I forgot that Judi Dench won Best Supporting Actress.

As if it isn't bad enough that I have to deal with being a straight guy that would rather bake something than fix a car (You can't eat the car when you're done, I really don't see how this is even a competition?), now I have to have Chris Rock questioning me?

I feel like there's a "Not that there's anything wrong with that." joke in there somewhere.

Until later...

MIB: More Interesting Blogs

As a new feature, I will occasionally post links to other blogs that you may find interesting. In fact, chances are that any blog I feature in this section will be more interesting than The FOUI, itself. Thus the name of this feature, MIB: More Interesting Blogs.

First up, a site dedicated to t-shirts. I love amusing t-shirts. I may not ever buy them because I would never wear most of them in public, but I love them nonetheless. Preshrunk is a blog all about t-shirts, with links to all sorts of great shirts. Check it out, have a good laugh, maybe pick yourself up a nice new shirt. Of all the new posts, I'm personally partial to the Cobra Kai shirt. Of course, if I got that shirt I would be tempted to randomly tell people, "Sweep the leg!" (I hope at least one person out there reading this remembers the Karate Kid well enough to get that.)

Until later...

Doughnut Diatribe

I was on my way to work this morning when a commercial for Dunkin Donuts came on. They were advertising their new cappuccinos, lattes and other coffee drinks. The voice over man (VOM) then began describing the wonderful drinks and how they were made from fresh beans delivered personally to the store by Juan Valdez and his donkey, made with milk the employees of DD obtained from the cow earlier that morning, etc. Halfway through his description of the drinks, VOM states that they are made from "perfectly brewed expresso."

Huh? I'm sorry, what?

Expresso?

I should probably interject for a moment here and say that I am not a coffee snob. In fact, I don't like coffee at all. Anything with bitter flavor is overpowering to me and prevents any other flavors from being detected. Flavored coffees, various flavored cappuccinos, mocha...it all tastes the same to me. All I can taste is coffee, even when other people insist they can hardly taste it anymore. I personally like to think that my issues with bitter tastes are because my taste buds are attempting to give me extra protection against poisoning. Whatever the reason, the end result is that I can't handle anything that's very bitter at all: coffee, tea, dark greens that haven't been prepared absolutely perfectly. Anyway, back to the point.

So there I am, sitting in my car, driving to work, annoyed with VOM for saying "expresso" rather than "espresso." Then I start getting annoyed because the commercial is making me wonder if frustration over his use of a nonexistent word makes me petty?

That's when it hit me: I was surprised and annoyed, but this was coming from the company that misspelled both Dunking and Doughnuts in their name.

Until later...

The CSI Broadcasting Station

If you pay much attention to TV, you are probably aware that there are now three different CSI series on CBS, putting it a close second to Law & Order's 15 separate series including the newest edition Law & Order: Litterbug Unit.

MSNBC has an article today on the "CSI effect." It seems that due to the popularity of CSI, many more people are interested in studying forensics. Unfortunately, the popularity of the shows has also caused people to expect miracles from forensic labs.

I have to admit, I love to watch CSI: Miami. It's not a good show. In fact, it's actually quite bad, but every Monday night I watch so that I can mock David Caruso's overly dramatic, pause-laden dialog. Then again, he isn't the only thing worth mocking on the show. We also have the medical examiner who talks to the dead bodies and calls them all "baby" and the unbelievably bad storylines.

The problem with this is two-fold. First, it requires me to stay up until at least 11:00 if I want to make fun of the show, which doesn't always work so well with when I need to get up for work. Second, I have mocked the Horatio Cane (Caruso) melodramatic speech patterns so much that I occasionally find myself speaking that way without thinking about it. Maybe I need to cut back a little.

Until later...

What Is It About Wal-Mart?

For most of my life, there has always been a Wal-Mart nearby. It's a wonderfully convenient place where you can get almost anything from groceries to car batteries to CDs (edited versions only) to movies (ironically, these aren't edited versions) to an engagement ring if you so desire. If you are hoping to hear a wonderful discussion of the socioeconomic impact of Wal-Mart on a community, there are plenty of places on the web to find that. For a another blogger discussing treatment of workers at Wal-Mart, check out this post. All of this is far too serious for us here at The Fount. I'm much more interested in looking at Wal-Mart from a cultural and anthropological point of view.

For those of you not from the Midwest, specifically the Michigan/Illinois/Indiana area, the predominant discount store in Michigan is not Wal-Mart, but Meijer, a company headquartered in Grand Rapids, MI. When I first moved here, I was shocked to find that the closest Wal-Mart was actually in the next county. Since then, several Wal-Marts have been built in the area, including one relatively close to my home and work.

I ave visited this nearest store a few times since it opened recently, and each time I am left with the same questions. This is not the most cosmopolitan of areas, but even though I am aware of that the people I encounter at Wal-Mart amaze me. Whether it is the man having a screaming argument with his mother in the pharmacy or the people who look like they are waiting to be interviewed on the local news after a tornado tore through the trailer park (Yeah, go ahead act offended, but then try to tell me you didn't know exactly what I meant.), I am in awe by the time I leave...and don't get me started on the prevalence of the mullet. The first time we went to this store, the cashier greeted by asking in full-blown Southern drawl, "Did y'all find everything all right?" Prompting me to ask MK as we left whether they import cashiers from the Arkansas headquarters when a new store is opened.

These people have obviously been here. They didn't just appear or move here because there was a Wal-Mart opening. Why have I not run into them in such concentrations in the past? What is it about Wal-Mart that brings the dentally-challenged out in droves?

Alas, I think this may be one of the mysteries of life that can never be answered.

Until later...

Snow, Simpsons, Seafood

The weather stinks. It's snowing...AGAIN.

Thoughts on Sunday night TV.

The Simpsons (new episode):

Springfield legalizes gay marriage to help improve tourism. Homer performs ceremonies for any and all couples, gay straight or brother and sister (oh, come on, like anyone was surprised about Cletus and Brandeen). Sadly, the episode was right on about a couple of things about the issue: First, many people will always change opinions given the chance to earn a little extra money. Second, it's one thing to discuss an issue in abstract, but regardless of your viewpoint, it's entirely different when it involves someone you know.

However, I think I may be permanently scarred by the dream scene of Homer married to Homer complete with Homer on Homer action.

The Simpsons (rerun):

For a contest that is difficult to get into, it certainly does seem that almost everyone we know is involved. There were even entries involving and entire fish on a pizza and a roadkill armadillo. Bart start up a "Playdude" mansion in his treehouse. Homer eventually has to explain the facts of life to him. Is this ever not traumatic for any children? Somewhere between 75-99% of all kids would like to think that their parents have never done that and hearing it directly from them is just too much. James Caan getting killed at the toll both, a la Godfather, was an absolutely hilarious ending to the episode.

Iron Chef America:

Morimoto is the Iron Chef battling tonight. The secret ingredient is...Crab. And it's not dead yet. It's not fun to have to prepare food that's trying to fight back. The introduction of living secret ingredients does bring some of the fun of the original series back. The challenger just spoke directly to Alton Brown, the host. I miss having a panel of commentators trying to figure out what's going on rather than simply having the chefs tell us. The thing that amazes me about this show, regardless of version, is how much they get done in an hour. I can barely even get a sandwich made in an hour. If I only had an hour to prepare food for the judges, they'd end up with a can of soup and microwave popcorn.

Another difference between the original IC and ICA is that no one makes completely outrageous things. Just once, I would like to see Bobby Flay or Mario Batali making some cod soft roe ice cream, as Sakai once did. Of course, that ice cream didn't go over so well with the judges.

This episode was probably the best so far, but the lack of urgency makes the new version of the show occasionally border on dull.

Enough of my rambling for one night. I started posting a book review earlier this weekend, but IE crashed in the middle of it, and I haven't been able to remotivate myself for that yet. When I get the motivation, the book review should be coming soon.

Until later...

Random Links

Coming up short in your search for bling? Jose Canseco is selling a World Series ring. To be completely honest, I had forgotten he played for the Yankees in 2000.

Is it a requirement for parents of famous kids to be insane? Lindsay Lohan's dad is in the news again. It's a toss up between her father and the patriarch of the Simpson clan (Ashlee and Jessica, that is). In this battle, I'm going with Mr. Simpson, because few things are more disturbing than a man talking to the press about his daughter's breasts...repeatedly.

Former American Idol contestant Kimberley Locke is getting married. I say this not because I care at all, but because I wonder why this is worthy of a headline on MSN. The personal life of someone who once appeared on reality TV is newsworthy? Isn't the inexplicable fame of Paris Hilton enough?

Point? I may not really have one, but I happen to enjoy mocking what lunacy of the world around me. If the rest of the world is that insane, maybe I'm not quite so crazy.

Until later...

Friday Film Festival Vol. 3

This weeks edition of F3 deals with Sideways. I had been hearing all sorts of things about this movie for quite a while, but had not had the chance to check it out. Last night I was finally able to see it for myself.

The movie is a comedy, yet the amount of raw human emotion throughout the story is enough for any drama short of a three-hanky tearjerker. As you may or may not know, the story centers on two men (Paul Giamatti and Thomas Haden Church, who I have to fight not to constantly refer to as Lowell from Wings) on a trip through California wine country. While on the trip, Giamatti deals with finally getting back into life two years after his divorce and Former-Lowell looks for one last fling before getting married. The two women who allow them to accomplish these tasks are played fabulously by Virginia Madsen and Sandra Oh, respectively.

While wine plays an important role in the film, a knowledge of wine minutiae such as Giamatti's character constantly imparts on his fellow characters is not necessary. One of the best scenes in the film involves Maya (Madsen) and Miles (Giamatti) discussing wine, and through their explanations of why they like wine or like certain types of wine, they open up and reveal their inner selves for the first time. The contrasting images of two people who have been deeply hurt and how they have dealt with it are shown in how each reacts to wine.

The thing that impressed me most about this movie was Paul Giamatti. His ability to convey an amazing range of emotions, including convincingly portraying a man who has just been emotionally devastated but must try to restrain himself from making a scene in public, caught me completely by surprise. He deserves every bit of praise that has been heaped on him for his performance.

My one issue with the movie is that once, just once, I would like to see a movie involving romance where we do not have the typical, late second act realization that one or both of the characters involved in the romance have been lying and therefore the romance is over until we can resolve it in the third act. It worked just fine in this movie, which is more than I can say for 90% of the films in which this happens. I'm just tired of it always being the case. This is a relatively minor issue with Sideways, and certainly does not take away from the excellent film.

The Verdict: 3 Stars. Highly Recommended.

Quickly, my take on this weeks new releases:

Because of Winn-Dixie: First the movie has a couple of marks against it right off the bat, because naming a dog after a grocery store is more than a little strange, but not as odd a a movie that stars Dave Matthews. Yes, the one with the band. More importantly, the American Dental Association has asked for a boycott of this movie until theaters provide toothbrushes to all patrons after ingesting almost two hours of sweetness.

Son of the Mask: This week's entry in the "Least necessary Sequel Ever Sweepstakes" comes eleven years after the original film starring Jim Carrey. I really don't know what I could say about this movie other than .

Constantine: In an attempt to offend comic book fans everywhere, Keanu Reeves was cast as the anti-hero in this film, and just in case that wasn't enough to really anger the 30 year olds dwelling in Mom's basement, they made the main character, John Constantine, American rather than British and changed the name of the film to Constantine from Hellblazer. I'm not sure whether they did that to avoid confusion with the the Hellraiser movies from the late 80's and 90's or to avoid using the "H-E-double hockey sticks" word in the title even though the film involves hell fairly prominently. The bottom line (for me at least), it's a Keanu Reeves film. Until I start hearing from other people about how good it is, I'll pass, thanks anyway.

That does it for this edition of F3. I'll leave with a brief useless bit of trivia. Did you know that actor Paul Giamatti is actually the son of former MLB commissioner A. Bartlett Giamatti? Somehow, I have a feeling Pete Rose is probably not a big fan of Sideways.

Until later...

Lost and Other Thoughts

Ok folks, it's late, I'm tired, and I going to bed. But first, just a few brief thoughts.

1. Last night's episode of Lost was great. Possibly the best so far. I'm a little upset that there is a 6-week gap after next week's episode before we get the next new episode. If you haven't gotten caught up in this show yet...well, it's probably a little difficult to start this season, but check out the DVDs before the second season.

2. Saw Sideways tonight. More on that tomorrow.

3. Finally, a link. I don't know what it means, but it makes me laugh. I'm sure it's something horridly crude, and I'm just too naive to get it. Whatever it is, it's amusing.

Ok, off to bed.

Until later...

Confessions of a Skittle Sorter

Ok, I think I've made references on here before to the fact that I may, possibly have a few obsessive tendencies. With that in mind, on to today's blog; it's confession time once again.

1. There is a definite reason I chose to read Devil in the Details. It's not just that it's funny--I can relate much more than I would like to admit.

2. People with OCD probably should be prohibited from blogging. It's not that I have to blog everyday. I can stop anytime I want. Ok, that may be an exaggeration. By may be I mean is and by exaggeration I mean complete lie. I have to restrain myself from posting multiple things in a single day. Everything I see, hear, eat, watch, read or say I think about what I would write about it. I think I need help.

3. I love the Pepsi iTunes promotion. For those of you not familiar with the contest, one of every 3 bottles has a cap with a code for a free song download on iTunes. Each song on iTunes costs $0.99. Contrast this with the price of a 20 oz. soft drink: $1.00-1.19 on average (plus the $0.10 deposit here in MI). I know that the possibility of winning a free song does not justify buying a drink, but I do it anyway. My Diet Mountain Dew consumption has skyrocketed because of this game. The other day, the store had no Diet Mountain Dews with the iTunes game caps, so I drank a regular Mountain Dew (and won). Last year during this promotion, the caps were not on Mountain Dew products so I drank only Diet Pepsi for about two months instead. Why wouldn't I buy only the drinks I want and only buy them when I want/need them? I don't want to buy them. A lot of the time I go in thinking I won't buy a drink, or that it's the last time, but I come out with them anyway. Stupid compulsions. (In the interest of full disclosure, I have won 6 times so far.)

4. I also love candy. My will power for resisting candy in a convenience store is almost as bad as it is with the aforementioned iTunes promotion. Given the choice of any candy, I would choose chocolate. However, if I am going to be sitting somewhere with a space to work, I will often choose Skittles instead. You see, I can't just open a bag of Skittles and eat them. That's far too simple, and the flavors should never be allowed to mix. I have to sort them. I have a specific routine that must be adhered to or something will happen. I'm not really sure what will happen, as I refuse to find out. First, take a handful of Skittles and lay them out on the table. Now sort each color into its own little pile, or better yet put them in a row. Once you have sorted the Skittles by flavor, determine the number of each color you have (e.g. 5 purple, 4 green, 2 yellow, 6 red and 3 orange) and sort the piles/rows by number in descending order from left to right. Ok, now we can eat. Wait! Don't just grab any Skittle! You have 6 reds; you have to eat one of those first. Ok, now you have 5 reds and 5 purples; it's ok to eat either one, followed by the other, bringing us to 4 each of red, purple and green. Continue this process until all groups are consumed, then remove a second handful of Skittles from the bag. Repeat sorting, collating, filing and eating. Wow, candy makes me tired. I'm ready for a nap.

This has been both amusing an embarrassing. While I'd love to humiliate myself a little more, it's almost time for Lost to come on...not that I'd obsess about TV shows or anything.

Before I go, a non-OCD related note: I noticed a comment on yesterday's post from another blogger, named Laziest Girl. This brought up a couple of things. First, it made me wonder how a blogger in Australia happened to come across my blog (hey, she even commented on my second post ever back in January). Second, it got me to check out her blog, which is pretty amusing and even has a reference to yesterday's post. (If other people mention my blog on their blog, does that make me famous?)

Until later...

Book Review: The Tipping Point

Ok, now that the audiobook review is out of the way let's talk about the book I've actually been reading recently, The Tipping Point by Malcolm Gladwell.

This is a book that is hard to explain. What is it about exactly? It seems to defy any particular category into which one might try to place it. Some people have called it a business book. Sure, it has sections in which business concepts are discussed, but it also has sections regarding the American Revolution, children's television and an syphilis epidemic. It is no more a business book than it is a history book. At his website, Gladwell describes the book as "an intellectual adventure story." The book examines the way ideas spread from person to person and how the smallest of factors can make a difference.

Gladwell goes through several rules that guide these idea epidemics, ranging from the people involved in spreading the idea to how memorable a message is to the impact of context to the optimal size of groups. I won't go into any details with these, because there is no way I would do justice to his ideas. Each section is presented with multiple examples giving support to the premise.

The book is well written, making it easy to read through multiple chapters in a single sitting and very hard to put the book down and do anything else. This subject of the book and all of the concepts presented in it are so interesting that I have ended up recommending this book to just about everyone I know. Now, I'll do the same with you.

The Verdict: 3 stars. Highly Recommended.

Until later...

Book Review: Dave Barry Hits Below the Beltway

I know, this isn't what was in the What Am I Reading section. I ended up spending some time on the road this weekend and while driving we listened to the book on CD. I've always liked Dave Barry; with all of his detours, tangents and rambling, his writing style reminds me of mine, only funny...and enjoyable...and good. In Dave Barry Hits Below the Beltway, Barry helps us take an objective, if not quite serious, look at government from early man to present day Washington, D.C.

As I would have expected from Dave Barry, it was funny. His typical non sequiturs and absurdities help to keep the mood light regardless of how depressing the subject of government may be. He goes through history and examines the various governmental forms, before examining the problems of our government. Barry pulls no punches in his conviction of our current system and attacks both parties with equal fervor.

Surprisingly, there is even a section in his description of South Florida that includes a touching discussion of his wife's Cuban family and the hardships they and others like them have gone through. While this section stands out as different in tone from the rest of the book, it also stands out as impressive and heartfelt.

So what went wrong? I said before that I have always liked Dave Barry, but I tend to like him more as a newspaper columnist. In any particular column or book, there is always one particular joke that gets beaten to death. In a column, the overuse of one joke can be amusing. After about five chapters giant prehistoric zucchini jokes are much more annoying than amusing. While I also like the digressions in his writing, he did at times go on a tangent for so long that I forgot where we originally started. For example, in a discussion of resolving our election process, Barry decided that we should kick South Florida out of the Union. He then described various oddities of Florida, which, while amusing, went on for so long that when he returned to the subject at hand, it felt like that was the detour. The other unfortunate issue with this book was really a result of the timing of its publication. The book was originally published in early 2001, and of course the biggest political happening near that time was the 2000 presidential election. He did a good job with it, but I really could have done without ever hearing about that election ever again.

If you are in the mood for humor and a critique of the political system that provides no answers (and is honest about not even attempting to provide them), this book may be for you.

The final verdict: 2.0 Stars. Recommended with reservations.

Until later...

Friday Film Festival Vol. 2

This week in F3 I'll be covering some of the movies that are hitting theaters this weekend. I'll give a few facts or background about each and then my take on them. I have not yet seen any of these, so "My Take" is simply an impression based on what I know right now. Shocking though it may be, I have been wrong in the past--just not often.

Hitch starring Will Smith, Kevin James and Eva Mendes. Didn't we cover this in the Super Bowl post? Will Smith plays the ultimate dating guru, who can teach any man how to get the girl of his dreams. Eva Mendes plays the woman that makes him turn into an idiot resembling all other men. Kevin James plays what appears to the the only character he can play. My Take: Do you think we can get odds on whether or not Will Smith exclaims "Oh, Hai-yul No!" at any point during this film? Like many Will Smith movies, it might be enjoyable but probably forgotten a day or so later. (Note: Wild Wild West is the major exception to this rule. I'm still trying to forget that one.)

Pooh's Heffalump Movie. Winnie the Pooh has been on a hiatus for quite sometime, at least as a headliner, though Tigger and Piglet have been keeping themselves busy. I don't have children, nor have I watched a Winnie the Pooh movie in quite sometime, so it's a little hard for me to say much about this one. Clocking in at just over 60 minutes, it should at least keep the torment parents must endure down to a minimum. My Take: I really can't say too much about this one, except that the title made me start singing "Heffalumps and Woozles" from Winnie the Pooh and the Blustery Day, which then led to me singing "I'm Just a Little Black Rain Cloud." No, I haven't watched these recently. Shut up and leave me alone. Don't try to pretend those songs aren't stuck in your head now, either.

Ong-Bak. This movie has been playing in Asia and at film festivals for a while now. The big draw for this film is of course the martial arts which are performed with no stunt doubles, computer graphics or wire-fu. Plot? Umm...yeah, I'm sure it has one. Does it really matter? My Take: The movie has an endorsement from RZA of Wu-Tang on the official site, what more do you want? It really doesn't matter to me because I live in Michigan and won't get a chance to see this whether I want to or not.

Uncle Nino. This movie played in Grand Rapids for what seemed to be an eternity (it was over a year). I understand that many small movies play in only one or two places until they get picked up for wider distribution, but Grand Rapids? Really? (Interestingly enough, Pierrino Mascarino, the actor who plays Uncle Nino, was apparently at many of the showings in GR.) Now that it is getting a wider release, Uncle Nino will be distributing its feel-good message to the masses. My Take: I have seen reviews of this movie that range from being passionate recommendations to calling it an "overrated after-school special." I think I can see why either might be justified. I'll have to wait to decide which side of the fence to fall on until after I have seen it.

Bride & Prejudice. Jane Austen meets Bollywood? What do you need to know about this movie? Director Gurinder Chadha also directed the amusing multi-cultural Bend It Like Beckham. The movie stars Aishwarya Rai, who won the Miss World title in 1994 and was named most beautiful woman by Hello magazine in 2003. Rai supposedly gained 20 pounds for the role because she felt it was a more realistic look for her character. Austen's Pride and Prejudice gets updated and gets a Bollywood makeover. In case you aren't familiar with the Bollywood style, this means you should expect song and dance numbers throughout the film. My Take: I have to admit, this one intrigues me. Unfortunately, it once again does not matter because of where I live.

That about does it for this edition of F3. As always, if you have a topic for future F3 columns, let me know.

Until later...

Abeus Corpus

Every once in a while, I come across a web site that makes me laugh out loud. When that does happen, I feel compelled to share. Today's post is one of those times.

We've all heard them. Many of us know someone with one. Maybe even a few of us have been burdened with one ourselves. They are bad names. The maddening monikers given to children by parents who are overly creative, hyper-individualistic or just plain nuts.

I have been to this site many times, and I always feel a little guilty laughing at the names. After a few bouts of uncontrollable laughter, I realize I'm not laughing at the children, I'm laughing at their crazy parents, and the guilt fades a little.

There are many absurd names to choose from and so much hysterical commentary on the names. It makes it hard to pick a favorite, so I have a few. Oleo, Cinsere, any of the many names referring to the place of conception (because what kid doesn't want to think about that every day for the rest of his life) and Abeus. My one disappointment with Abeus is that the commentary did not contain what I considered the most obvious joke (see title of today's post).

Before I send you off, a word of warning: Do not drink anything while reading this site. You don't want to clean it off your monitor. Actually, you might want to stop at the bathroom too; especially if you are one of the people needing this shirt.

Now head over to Baby's Named a Bad, Bad Thing.

Until later...

It's All About 'Cue: Part II

It's the second Wednesday of the month, and that means it's time to talk barbecue. Last time I started going over the basics of the different forms of barbecue and focused on ribs. This month's edition is about brisket.

What is brisket? First of all, brisket is beef. It comes from the underside of the cow, in a region that is usually fairly tough and requires special care to prepare properly. This is the same cut of beef that is used to make corned beef. The principle there is to soak the meat in a spiced brine for (depending on who you ask) a week to three weeks. This helps deal with the toughness of the brisket. I personally prefer dealing with the toughness in a different manner: smoking. (By the way, you could actually smoke the brisket after corning, but you have created something different entirely. Pastrami.)

Smoking meats cooks them at a low temperature for long periods of time. Typically for a brisket you would use temperatures of 200-235 degrees (Fahrenheit) for several hours. Depending on the size of the brisket, that could be hours...like 15 hours. This long cooking time helps to melt what is making the meat tough (do we really want to have a discussion about gelatinization of collagen and other connective tissue? No? Let's just leave it as tenderizes the meat then, hmm?) and exposes it to some of the aromatic compounds in the smoke from whatever wood you are using.

Oh, we didn't cover wood yet? For smoking you will need a nice hardwood. You'll get all sorts of arguments on which wood to use. Some people swear by mesquite, while others say it's too strong. Others will tell you to use a fruit wood like apple, and even others will say that you won't be able to tell the difference between the woods anyway. If you have a preference, great; otherwise, I'd suggest something like chunks of hickory which is essentially the default and therefore the easiest to find. Alternatively, you could check out this article and read the recommended uses for each type.

Just like ribs, there are all sorts of decisions to make when preparing a brisket. The first ones happen at the grocery store or butcher's counter. First, which cut do you want, the point or the flat? Each one has its own disciples, and I'm not sure that I have a preference. As long it's prepared well, I'll eat the brisket without much thought to which cut it was. Now what about trimming? Normally when you get meat from the butcher you are going to want it to be trimmed of most of the fat. In this case you do not want the fat trimmed, because when you cook for most of the day, the fat cap on top of the meat will melt and keep the meat moist. Remove the cap, and you may end up with a dry hunk of beef.

Seasoning the brisket is entirely personal preference. Some people will recommend a dry rub and others a marinade. Personally, I like a good spicy dry rub with some cayenne and cumin. Either way, you are going to want a mop. No, not that mop. This mop will be sprinkled or basted on the brisket throughout the cooking time to help keep the moisture level up. Recipes for mops range from just a barbecue sauce (which doesn't really help the cause) to complex mixtures of everything from vinegar to coffee to beer. Whatever mop you choose, make sure it's something you like, because it will impact the flavor.

If it is prepared and smoked perfectly, the brisket will be moist and tender with a complex flavor of both the beef and the smoke. It's hard to beat a well done (but not well-done) brisket. So what are the downfalls? As we've already seen, there are lots of decisions to be made, just like with ribs. Brisket is a balancing act between tenderizing a meat that is too tough and keeping the meat from becoming dried out. Cook for too long or don't mop enough? You can end up with jerky. Cook at too high a temperature? You just might end up with a beef-flavored fruit roll-up. If you can manage to walk that line (or get someone else to do it for you), it is worth all the effort.

In the next edition: Pulled pork. The final member of our barbecue triumvirate.

Until later...

Tuesday TV Thoughts

Tomorrow night is the first new episode of Lost in three weeks. I understand that networks can't make a show for each week. We all expect to see reruns or have a show preempted once in a while. When you watch a sitcom, it's really no big deal. When you watch a hour-long drama, it's still not so bad. However, spacing out episodes of a show that plays as if it were 20 one-hour chapters of a single work is borderline sadistic.

I have to give credit to the people responsible at ABC and Fox for scheduling Alias and 24, respectively, to start late in the season and play with no repeats or breaks. Those shows, like Lost, are bound to suffer from extended periods of downtime during a season. Want to see people being driven insane by a television show? (Must resist temptation to say "force them watch Hope and Faith"...too late) Go to a board online for any of these shows after a cliffhanger or an especially intense preview and see how patient people are.

You could go right now to a Lost board, like The Fuselage, and see people desperate to know what happens in tomorrow night's episode. You see, the promo for the episode showed several people carrying what seemed to be a body wrapped in a blanket. Is someone dead and, if so, who is it? No one knows yet, but there are only about 45-50 people on the island and a half-dozen of them were in the scene. By my math that still leaves a good 40 or so people to choose from.

These are not shows like Seinfeld. That is one of the greatest shows to have been on television, but if you miss an episode, you can catch it later. If tonight's episode is a rerun, you can watch and laugh again. There's no suspense built for the new jokes or new plot lines.

One of the reasons often given for spreading seasons out so long is "Sweeps." A few specific weeks a year, networks pull out all the stops to get the highest ratings possible. Higher ratings in sweeps weeks should result in higher prices for advertising during the show. I'm not really sure how that is supposed to work. After all, if you were an advertiser, would you base your ad placement on how a show performs during one or two weeks or would you base it on longer term performance. It seems to my unitiated in the advertising world brain that it is more logical to base your decision on the long term results. How does the performance evaluation process work at your place of employment? Does your boss track your performance for only two or three weeks a year and ignore whether you have been significantly better or worse the rest of the year? If so, where do you work and are they hiring?

Sadly, all my complaining will not make the show get here any faster. I'll just have to wait patiently and be glad that I'm not addicted to too many shows like this.

Until later...

An Aptly Named Day

Tomorrow is the day known as Fat Tuesday or Mardi Gras. The last day before Lent. The day to indulge in all that your piety requires you to give up for the next forty days. This means different things in different places. In New Orleans, it means parades, parties, drinking, beads and a few more potential lawsuits for the minds behind the "Girls Gone Wild" DVD series. In areas with a large Polish population, like portions of Chicago or, apparently, West Michigan, it means something else entirely: Paczki. What is that and how do you say it?

Based on what I know (which isn't much) Paczki is pronounced as either "punch-key" or "poonch-key" depending on who you ask. Paczki also seems to be the plural of paczek ("pohn-chek").

Great, now we can say it, but do we have any idea what it is? A few weeks before Fat Tuesday, local bakeries begin to advertise that Paczki are coming. That's the first sign that it has to be good. If it comes from a bakery and is meant to be indulgent, it can't be wrong, can it? At first glance, they appear to be simply jelly doughnuts. In fact, one of the places selling paczki has a sticker on the boxes with the slogan, "It's not just another jelly doughnut." So what sets it apart? They are much denser than your average jelly doughnut; much more like a roll or a chewy loaf of bread. This is then filled and covered in powdered sugar. What are they filled with? So far this year, I have seen fruits of all sorts, Bavarian cream, chocolate Bavarian cream and Holland cream (think super sweet cake icing thick enough to use as mortar when you build your next house--the perfect way to send someone's blood sugar spiraling out of control).

If you want to make your own paczki, here is a recipe from Food Network. I haven't tried it, so I have no idea how good it actually is. If that's not your style, perhaps you'd prefer paczki dolls. Why wouldn't you want a stuffed toy made in the likeness of a filled pastry?

Let's recap: We have sugary dough deep fried and filled with a sugary substance of one form or another and then covered in more sugar. That my friends is not only delicious but also perfectly appropriate for Fat Tuesday.

And in case you were wondering: Yes, I was eating one while writing this.

Until later...

Commercialism's Big Day

The concept of a running diary is not new, nor is a review of the commercials, but I have never said I was original. I’ll post thoughts as I have them and review commercials on a 10 point scale. I won’t rate ads for movies, but I will comment on them. If you want a better review of the commercials, try Slate. Their Ad Report Card column is usually very interesting and informative. (Early Monday a.m. update: You can check out Seth Stevenson's Ad Report Card here for a more concise review than mine.)

If I can stay awake, I'm going to run this all the way through the Simpsons and American Dad. Let's begin.

5:59—The Black Eyed Peas just finished performing live. My ears hurt. Apparently they need a little studio help.

6:00—Eugene Levy is in the Fox Super Bowl intro. Is this really what things have come to for Eugene?

6:04—Nationwide commercial with MC Hammer. Hammer mocks himself with a spot on poor financial planning. Self-deprecation always gets high marks. 7/10

6:06—Oh good, Joe Buck is calling the game, exponentially increasing our chances of hearing “That’s DISGUSTING!!” during today’s broadcast.

6:13—DirecTV spot with the progression of one man’s life through television. Good idea, but it turns out more scary than anything else as he ages. 3/10

6:15—24 promo. Did he just tell someone the show was so exciting they’d need another pair of underwear? 4/10

6:17—The teams are introduced by Michael Chiklis (MK: “Do you think he’s destined to be single?”) and Will Smith.

6:20—Ford commercial. Biker gang versus Ford truck gang. All in all, pretty dull. 5/10.

6:21—McDonald’s Lincoln Fry commercial. Well, I guess it was effective. I’ve already gone to the website and it’s been less than a minute. 8/10

6:30—The Lincoln Fry is currently going for $500. From the auction site: “Lincoln Fry is not edible.”

6:30—XXX:State of the Union. It wasn’t good with Vin Diesel, does anyone think it will be better with Ice Cube?

6:33—American Idol commercial. Same concept as the earlier Ford commercial (stereotypical tough guys doing something you don’t expect), but they pulled it off much better. 7/10

6:36—Mustang commercial. Hey, it looks like winter at my house. Ok, the frozen guy in the convertible was kind of funny. With all the snow and the Minnesotan cop, it was like Fargo. I kept waiting for the wood chipper. 6/10

6:38—The Lincoln Fry is now $2750.

6:38—He may have won two of the past three Super Bowls and be competing for his third in four years, but Belichick still looks like a bum on the sidelines. Come on Bill, you have money, do something about the wardrobe.

6:40—TO just made a catch. Will he be a factor? Not if McNabb fumbles like that. Ok, never mind, no fumble, but they still have to punt.

6:49—The Lincoln Fry is now $250,100. I have to wonder if that’s a fake bid.

6:50—Diet Pepsi ad. Everybody wants to be like Puffy. Xzibit pimps a Diet Pepsi truck. Whatever happened to Carson Daly? Nice spot. 8/10

6:51—LeBron’s gum commercial. Well, that was incredibly unexciting. 2/10

6:51—M-robe from Olympus. Scary wiggly people do not make me want to buy a camera/music player hybrid. 2/10

6:54—The Pacifier. This is why Vin Diesel passed up the XXX sequel? I think I’d rather watch a blank screen for two hours.

6:55—Fed Ex. Mocking the concept of Super Bowl commercials. “Product Message (optional)” Best of the night so far. 9/10

6:55—Bud Light with Cedric the Entertainer. Nagging can even ruin fantasies. 8/10

6:59—Volvo is giving away a trip on Virgin Galactic. Am I the only one that thinks Richard Branson is nuts? 4/10

7:00—Diet Pepsi. A man walks down the street drinking a Diet Pepsi. As he continues, women start following him and eventually Carson from Queer Eye for the Straight Guy joins the group. Mildly amusing. 6/10

7:00—Godaddy.com. Why is it Budweiser (or was it Bud Light) can’t mock the “wardrobe malfunction”, but this site can? At least the Budweiser ad that has been shown everywhere but the game was funny. 3/10

7:07—Umm…wasn’t Owens supposed to be hurt? He looked healthy on that play.

7:11—Bud Light picture phone commercial. The second of the night to make me laugh out loud. 9/10

7:11—The Longest Yard. Oh good, another remake. No thanks.

7:12—Another Lincoln Fry commercial. By the way, it’s now $275,000

7:13—Nice pick by Rodney Harrison!!

7:14—Visa Check Card. Not good, not bad. 3/10. Wait, 4/10 for Underdog.

7:14—Ameriquest. Don’t judge to quickly. Absolutely hysterical. 9/10

7:15—Quizno’s with Baby Bob. Creepy. He wasn’t funny on a sitcom. He’s not funny in an ad. Bring back the Spongemonkeys!!! “We love the subs!” 3/10

7:20—Another turnover by the Eagles.

7:22--One quarter down, and I’d say the MVP so far is Rodney Harrison. That’s ok, because he’s from Western Illinois University and that gives me a chance to mention that they are the Leathernecks.

7:23—Hitch. Will Smith. Kevin James. I don’t know what to say other than "I have a suspicion I’m going to get dragged to this next weekend."

7:23—MBNA. Ok that was just odd. 4/10

7:24—Honda has a pickup. The commercial was still boring. 3/10

7:24—24 promo. Nuclear, not “nuke-yuh-lur”. Apparently, the same people write speeches for W and scripts for 24.

7:30—“Brian Westbrook is starting to get his legs underneath him.” It seems earlier in the game they were on his head. Is there a rule that says that sportscasters have to be idiots?

7:33—Touchdown Eagles. The first time the Pats have trailed in the playoffs.

7:34—Budweiser continues last year's ad with the donkey who wants to be a Clydesdale. Now all of the animals want to join in the fun. Cute, but not great. 6/10

7:34—Lays. Our second MC Hammer self-deprecating ad of the night. Even funnier than the previous one. Yes, kids. I'd throw him back too. 8.5/10

7:35—Subways Toasted Subs. To quote my wife, “It’s better than Jared.” 5/10

7:37—Pepsi and iTunes. Pretty amusing. Not that I’m anything like that last guy dancing to Jay Z in bathroom. Not at all. Leave my iTunes account alone. 6/10

7:38—Be Cool. Finally people are being given what they want: A sequel to Get Shorty. Uma and Travolta dancing again. Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson playing a gay character.

7:38—Degree In-action Heroes. Harsh, but funny. 7/10

7:42—Pepsi and iTunes again. This might be a little better with less Gwen Stefani. Not as amusing as the first version. 5/10

7:43—Cadillac. Bang? That was the pay-off? 2/10

7:46—Corey Dillon just dragged the entire Philly defense for about five yards.

7:51—Career Builder. Chimps at work. I’ve felt that way before. 6/10

7:52—Bud Light. That is one scary cockatoo. Just because it’s a talking animal doesn’t mean it’s funny. Though was it Cuban? I felt like I was watching Scarface for a minute. 5/10

7:56—Batman Begins. Nolan. Michael Caine. Morgan Freeman. Christian Bale. All good. Too bad the Batmobile is just goofy looking.

7:57—I am Diana Pearl. Our third “stereotypical tough guys doing something against type” commercial of the night. Not really very funny. 4/10…ooh Dennis Rodman in the bathtub. 3/10

7:58—Michelob. Rich and Smooth. 7/10

8:00—Touchdown Pats. Tie game.

8:11—Nascar pirate commercial. Ok, that commercial just plain sucked.

8:14—NFL Network. Everything in my being tells me I should hate this commercial, but for some reason I don’t.

8:15—Ok, they’ve wheeled out the reanimated corpse of Paul McCartney, so it’s time to go make some nachos.

8:25—Ow, jalapeño juice in the eye. Probably karma for the reanimated corpse comment a minute ago.

8:45—Touchdown Pats. Impressive drive to start the half.

8:48—M-Robe. Nope, not any better this time. 2/10

8:50—Robots. Wow. That was intolerable in a 30 second spot. I can’t wait to spend 90 minutes in a theater watching it.

8:57—Napster MP3 player. It certainly piqued my interest, even if it was unexciting. 5/10

8:57—24 promo. “We just spent 2.4 million…” It was funny when E-trade did it. Now it’s just old. 4/10

8:58—Staples easy button. I hate these commercials. 1/10

8:58—Ameriquest “Don’t judge too quickly” part 2. Great again. 9/10

8:59—Career Builder. More chimps in the workplace. Now, it’s just annoying. 2/10

9:02—The nachos are really good. I love cilantro. Just thought you might like to know.

9:03—War of the Worlds. Interesting, but I’m not exactly a Tom Cruise fan. Hopefully, no one will be so convinced that it’s real that they kill themselves.

9:03—Cialis. The 4-hour erection warning makes its second consecutive Super Bowl appearance.

9:11—Touchdown Philly, and we’re tied again.

9:11—Look Tom Arnold, and I somehow resisted the urge to change the channel.

9:12—Honda pickup again. At least the belt buckle gimmick was amusing. 5/10

9:12—Verizon V-Cast. Mostly stupid, but we did get to see Christina Aguilera go flying across the room when her stylist tried to dry her hair. That’s worth a couple bonus points. 6/10

9:21—End of the third quarter and it’s still tied. The score has been tied at the end of each quarter so far.

9:23—Nice screen pass, and this probably won’t be tied for much longer.

9:24—And it wasn’t. Touchdown Pats.

9:25—Toyota Prius. Cool ad concept. Cool car. 7/10

9:31—Budweiser Select. Boring. 1/10

9:32—Master Card. I’m a little tired of the “priceless” campaign, but I got to hear someone ask Count Chocula “So, how’s Frankenberry?” and Mr. Clean was stuck doing the dishes, so…7/10

9:38—Emerald Nuts. That man was so mean to his daughter, and yet this commercial was so funny. 8/10

9:38—Budweiser. Cedric the Entertainer starts a new dance while trying to communicate in a loud, crowded club. 7/10

9:41—Vinatieri hits a field goal to put New England up 10. Philly was lucky to hold them to three there.

9:46—McNabb throws another pick. That could be the end. 10 points against this Patriots team with less than seven and a half minutes and NE has the ball? That’s going to be tough.

9:59—The Eagles may be driving, but how do they not realize that they have to score twice in two minutes.

10:00—Sahara. Am I the only one that sees Matthew McConaughey and thinks about bongo drums? What about getting him confused with Josh Lucas? I don’t know that I can get excited about a movie where the author of the book upon which the movie is based tried to stop shooting, because the scripts were unacceptable.

10:03—Touchdown Philly. Will they try an onside kick or hope the defense can make the Pats go three and out?

10:06—That may have been the worst attempt at an onside kick I have seen. It would already have been difficult for the Eagles to win, but now it approaches impossible.

10:13—The Eagles have the ball inside their own 5 yard line with 46 seconds to go. If they manage to score, it will be the best ending to a Super Bowl ever…but I don’t see that happening.

10:15—Picked off. Game over. Rodney Harrison has 2 interceptions on the night, and is my pick for MVP. Of course, it’s probably Brady again. He’s the NFL’s über-marketable golden boy.

10:22—Cadillac. “Just take your mother’s car.” A much better commercial than the one earlier in the evening. 8/10

10:23—Verizon commercial with the cottonmouth. 6/10 The rating probably would be higher if it weren’t for Verizon.

10:24—Wow. Sports Illustrated wasted no time getting the Patriots merchandise out.

10:25—The post game show is starting. Who cares, just get to the Simpsons.

10:30—Ok, so it was Deion Branch instead of Brady as MVP. I won’t argue too much with that.

10:40—The Simple Life 3. Is it wrong for me to hope that Paris and Nicole get the Dave Matthews Band treatment from that plane?

10:45—Nike Pro Apparel. I’m really not sure I get the point of this ad, but I am scared. 3/10

10:50—The Simpsons is on, and it was just revealed that Comic Book Guy is named Jeff Albertson. You learn something new everyday.

10:57—Homer just choreographed a dance which ended with him mooning. I think Joe Buck just started shouting again.

11:15—Maybe it’s too late and I’m tired. Maybe they hyped it a bit too much, but that episode was not what I hoped for, despite a nice helping of social commentary.

11:16—American Dad is starting. I hope it’s good, since I’m staying up for this.

11:18—If Paul Lynde weren’t dead, I’d be sure he was doing the voice for Roger the Alien.

11:22—God just called W on American Dad.

11:30—“Twinkies, Ho-Ho’s, your basic white trash food.” Nice.

11:43—Well, it’s no Family Guy, despite being an almost exact copy of Family Guy.

The conclusion, part I: My pick for ad of the night is the Fed Ex, "How to Make a Super Bowl Ad." With the two Ameriquest ads just behind it. Also, special bonus points are given to MC Hammer, for humiliating himself not once, but twice.

The conclusion, part II: I should never do this again.

The Lincoln Fry is now $99,999,999,999.98. McDonald’s may have stumbled onto the solution to our national debt.

Until later…

Fashion Tips from the North Korean Government

The government of North Korea has decided that men with long hair are "incompetent and unhygenic". According to the Associated Press article, the television news, which is operated by the government, shows men whose hair is too long and identifies them by name and address. This concept brings up a couple of questions for me. First, are the men that are shown on television humiliated enough by this to cut their hair? Second, could we start a similar service here in the US where Brian Williams or Peter Jennings make fun of people with mullets to get them to change hairstyles?

It seems that the "official" length for hair to be acceptable is 2 inches. This seems quite short to me, and I keep my own hair pretty short. The North Korean government is not without mercy, however. They have made an exception to the 2 inch rule, allowing some men to have hair 2.8 inches in length "to hide balding", which to the best of my knowledge would make this the world's first government-sanctioned comb-over.

Note: The Fount of Useless Information makes no claims as to the veracity of this information. In fact, I find it a little hard to believe. Irrespective of its accuracy, it was reported by the AP and is pretty funny.

Until later...

Friday Film Festival Vol. 1

Welcome to the inaugural edition of F3. Each week, I'll write a bit about movies. Sometimes it will be something I have seen recently. Sometimes it will be about the week's new releases. Sometimes, like this week, it will be about upcoming films.

X-Men 3, Spiderman 3, Constantine, Sin City, Iron Man, Fantastic Four, Batman Begins, Superman Returns, Ghost Rider, Watchmen, V for Vendetta...Notice a pattern here? These are all films in various stages of planning or production, and all are based on comic books or graphic novels. Some of these are direct adaptations, while others simply draw from them as source material. These are just a handful of comic book movies that will be coming soon, on top of the astronomical number of comic films we have seen in the past few years.

Why is it that all of the studios are turning to comics for inspiration? Is it the built-in fan base? Are these movies guaranteed to be good? Are they a sure thing at the box office? Is it that studios are enthralled by the success of recent hits like The Matrix, Spiderman and X-Men? The built-in fan base, ready-made stories and characters certainly didn't seem to help give that same success to Daredevil, Elektra, The Punisher, The Punisher, Superman IV, Batman and Robin, Fantastic Four, Catwoman or The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen.

It seems that the studios have seen a few of the successes of previous comic book films and feel that it's a guarantee for a hit. Unfortunately, all too often they forget that these movies need some of the same things as every other movie, like good writing and character development.

I enjoy some comic book movies, but I wish studios would stop looking to them as the quick fix, and perhaps spend a little time and money on originality and quality.

Got something to say for the next F3? Email me here.


Until later...

The New And Improved Fount: Now With Structure!

When I first started this blog, I really had no idea what I was getting myself into. In what will certainly come as a shock to any and all who know me well, I began to discover that I had a lot to say, none of it important. The problem has been that unless something was really bugging me that day, I had a hard time deciding what topics to cover. I can't talk about everything everyday; my writing style is confusing enough when I stick to one topic. If I become much more random, I'll lose both of my readers.

I thought about this over the weekend and realized that if I was going to be completely self-absorbed and assume that any one in netland cares what I have to say, I may as well go all out and do this right. I am going to dedicate specific times to specific topics and create recurring columns.

The first of those columns premiered a last week. About once a month, I'll post a new "It's All About 'Cue" column. I will give my thoughts on all things barbecue, from style to restaurants to sauce to recipes. I will post this column on the second Wednesday of each month. For other Wednesdays during each month, I will discuss other food-related topics.

Another recurring column made its debut yesterday. The FOUI Book Review will be posted each time I complete a book. The current book under consideration will be listed in the "What am I reading" section in the sidebar. Right now, that's The Tipping Point by Malcolm Gladwell. Since this will be dependent on how quickly I finish reading each book, there will not be a regular schedule for this column.

Finally, I am planning a weekly column to discuss movies. I may discuss something I have seen recently, a movie I saw years ago and would like to see again, movies that are still in production or the movies starting that week at the theater. So, starting this week, you should see the Friday Film Festival posted here. If you have anything you want discussed in F3, just drop me an email and I'll see what I can do.

As time goes on, I'm sure I'll add new columns and cancel others. This may not be the final version of the Fount, but we're moving in the right direction. Structure is good. Structure is your friend.

Until later...

Book Review: The Hydrogen Economy

"So, it's a fiction book?" Those were the words of a good friend of mine, when I told her I was reading The Hydrogen Economy. We both laughed at the time, but as I got further into the book, I began to think that perhaps she was more right than she or I realized at the time.

Going in, I really wanted to like this book. I felt that the subject matter was important and needed to be dealt with as such. Unfortunately, as I went through the book I had a few issues, not the least of which was that the discussion of the use of hydrogen as an energy source did not really get underway until page 176 of the 253 page book. Below I detail some of the problems I had with the book, broken up by section.

Background

· The History of the World: It seems to be somewhat self-aggrandizing in a book about energy to describe the quest for energy as the reason behind all culture and civilization. Perhaps it’s just me, but that somehow seems short-sited and neglectful of any contribution ever made that did not directly contribute to the collection of or more efficient use of energy. Not only this, but the lack of energy is the reason behind the fall of any civilization. Germany was destined to lose World War I and II because they did not have enough energy. So, now we are running out of oil and this will mean the end of civilization as we know it. Right…at least we know ahead of time.

· Islam and Oil: Yes, most of the world’s oil reserves are in predominantly Islamic nations. Yes, the Middle East will likely possess the last of the useable oil in the coming decades. Both are valid and important points. There are still a few problems here. First, while Rifkin does seem to be aware of it based on portions of his book, someone should probably make sure he remembers that not all followers of Islam are extremists bent on global destruction. Also, he seems to be unsure about what to think about the instability of the Middle East. At one point he seems to be leaning toward the democratization of the region, then he changes course and, using the example of Algeria, points out that conversion to democracy would likely put fundamentalist groups in control of at least some Middle Eastern governments. In addition, he points out that the Middle East is instable and that the governments are only able to do anything because of the power given to them by their oil reserves. He fails to see that the switch to a new non-oil based economy could quite possibly cause desperation and destabilize things even more in a region that feels that the West marginalizes it’s relevance save for it’s ability to produce the much needed oil.

· Terrorism: The book was written very soon after the September 11th attacks, and published in 2002. The section on terrorism seems to almost be thrown in to give some sort of urgency, and never really connects with anything having to do with the need to switch to a hydrogen-based economy. This was not a “handful of determined terrorists” as he claims, but a large network that spent time and resources preparing. While I’m sure the author felt that the idea that any person or small group of people can bring a nation to its knees is frightening, I believe that the reality is disturbing enough. In addition, he goes on to talk about bioterrorism, which feels even more out of place than the previous section. Once again, he tries to make the concept seem even more frightening than they truly are, by implying that anyone with knowledge of “the rudimentary uses of recombinant DNA and cloning technology” can set up their own designer bioweapon factory in the backyard. Well, as one who has some knowledge of recombinant DNA and cloning technology, I say I don’t think it’s going to be quite that easy.

· Global Warming: Please do not misunderstand what I’m about to say, because I do feel that it is very important that we pay attention to what we are doing to the biosphere. That stipulation aside, this section was so alarmist that I felt I was back in the theater watching The Day After Tomorrow again. (For the record, I wouldn’t watch it again, but I did learn a couple of important things from it: 1. If the climate changes dramatically, and temperatures are instantly falling to a couple hundred degrees below zero, shut the door. It seems that extreme temperatures are stopped completely by public library doors. 2. If the climate changes suddenly, watch out for the wolves from the zoo. They are probably going to escape and look for people to kill.) I really don’t know what else to say about this section. A fairly important issue ends up being marginalized by over-dramatization.

· Entropy: This really is an issue throughout the entire book. If it were not for the fact that Mr. Rifkin had already co-authored a book titled Entropy, I would suspect that he had just discovered the word and was attempting to assimilate it into his vocabulary. The concept is so overused that I worry I might actually resort to violence if I ever hear anyone use the phrase “the entropy bill” again.

Hydrogen and Energy

· The Perpetual Motion Machine: Or, as he terms it, “The Forever Fuel.” The author really seems to gloss over the difference between hydrogen as an energy source and hydrogen as an energy store. Hydrogen is not found freely enough in nature to be an energy source. We must first find a way to convert another compound (ideally water) into elemental hydrogen. This requires energy. The question then is where does that energy come from? The key here is to view the Earth not as a closed system, but as an open system with energy coming in from outside. Harnessing renewable, natural energy sources, like solar energy, is the key to removing dependence on fossil fuels. Hydrogen is simply the way to store that energy in a readily useable form. (On a side note: As a microbiologist, I find it somewhat amusing that we are so enthralled by the concept of storing energy in hydrogen, since cells function by storing and converting energy in ways that include the H2/H+ redox cycle and formation of electrochemical gradients across cell membranes. Sorry, just had to wax nerdy for a moment. Back to the task at hand, then.) Rifkin spends only a small portion of the time dealing with what is the real obstacle to overcome. He goes from being overly alarmist in the early sections of the book to overly optimistic when discussing the wonders of the hydrogen economy. One of the benefits of moving to a hydrogen economy is that there are no real waste products. The reaction produces energy and pure, drinkable water, which he touts as extremely important in currently developing nations, which currently have limited access to pure water. This caused a bit of confusion for me, because wasn’t pure water (with the addition of an electrolyte) what you were using to create the hydrogen in the first place?

· The HEW (Hydrogen Energy Web): The author suggests that the switch to a hydrogen based energy system and utilization of fuel cell should also bring about free or almost free energy to all people. He even compares the HEW to the WWW and peer-to-peer file sharing systems. While I think the idea of free energy to all is wonderful, I have my doubts about the willingness of the companies who will invest in the creation of the system to give anything away for free, and the idea of “H2-ster” is slightly less than believable.

I was looking forward to reading this book. I wanted it to be something that could help explain the need to move away from dependence on the Middle East for the backbone of our economy and toward a different energy system. The book held my interest throughout and the author made some very compelling points, but unfortunately I had too many issues to feel anything other than disappointed.

The Verdict: 1.5 Stars (Shrug) Ehh…

Until later...