I Have The Power!

Well, we finally have power at the house again. After going through the fridge and freezers, it doesn't look like too much survived the past few days^*. That's ok, because I have a computer, internet access, tv, phones that can actually be charged, lights, and many, many other things which run on electricity. It doesn't matter if I am going to use them all or not, the important thing is that if I want to, I can.

^*And of course, since it was nature's fault and not that of the power company^**, replacing all the food that has been damaged is my responsibility not theirs.

^**Though, I would argue that the length of the outage is their fault. We saw two of their repair trucks go by today, and less than 30 minutes later, we had power. Why did I wait 3 days? I guess they don't owe any sort of service to us. It's not like we pay them way too much every month.

Another Update, Still No Power

Tonight while we were out, we saw a guy out in front of a local business holding a sign. I couldn't tell what it said at first, but as we passed I realized it said "We sell generators. 10% off, today only."

Tempting...

Stormy Weather Pt. 2

I just got our first update on power restoration from the electric company (didn't get to speak to Morgan Freeman though). They are currently estimating our power will be restored on August 25th, 2007 at 4:00. Ah yes, there's nothing like rapid service. I guess I should just be glad that they included 2007 in the date so I don't have to wonder if they'll get to me this year.

Friday AM update: They now claim power will be restored by August 26th, 2007 11:59 PM. Will someone do me a favor and tell them that I hate them.

Stormy Weather

A large line of strong thunderstorms came rolling off Lake Michigan this evening. Around 5:15, a tornado warning was issued for areas just to our southwest. The storms looked to be severe and headed in our direction rapidly. The only good thing was that they were moving fast enough that they wouldn't stay for very long.

They didn't. In fact, we only had around 5 to 10 minutes of a strong storm, but it was enoughto knock limbs down around the neighborhood and cause a power outage (I'm posting from my phone again). Now, if you will excuse me, I have a long evening of sitting in the dark planned.

Guitar Hero

It may be one of the bigger hits that Van Halen ever had, especially during the Sammy Hagar era, but even 15 years later, every time I hear Right Now I want to go give Crystal Pepsi a try.


I wonder if that was really what Eddie Van Halen wanted.

This Little Piggy Went to Market

After a while in a marriage you can pretty much tell what your spouse is thinking. I've discussed the importance of this kind of understanding previously, but the understanding that comes with years of living together was made evident again while we were watching television and had the following exchange.

Man on the Food Network: In fact, I've got a buddy who's actually in a Bacon of the Month Club, where they send him a different type of bacon each month.

Craig: *chuckles to himself*

Melissa: No. Don't even think about it.

I Have No Toothpaste: Ruminations on Trains, Planes and the Herd Mentality

That title sounds a bit grandiose for what this really is, doesn't it? Oh well, the title still amuses me, so it stays.

Each time I travel gives me more things to ponder and more things to want to write about. I figured I might as well collect them here in a poorly organized list so that you can waste as much of your time reading them as I am writing them.

In the US, there are really only two decent means of long distance mass transit: train (which really means Amtrak, since there is only one major carrier) and airplane. Sure there are buses named after dogs that travel the highways that run across our country, but those are usually reserved for people who aren't afraid of spending 72 hours sitting next to a guy who might have been profiled on America's Most Wanted last night or who might just smell like he hasn't showered since the first Bush administration. Besides, if I'm going to travel by road, I would rather drive myself. I can control the music, when and where we stop and who sits next to me.


I hadn't travelled by train for anything city-to-city until recently, and the experience really helped me realize a few things. Mostly, I realized that trains are not designed for people of any size whatsoever. If you ride the train, you had better be thin and short. There is no leg room and no butt room. You can feel free to get up and move about as long as you don't mind getting thrown around the car. There is less security to deal with, so it's easier for everyone to get to and from the trains and waiting areas, but on the down side there is less security so it's easier for everyone to get to and from the trains and waiting areas. Really, everything I've seen indicates that train travel is basically a slower version of air travel, only with more mental illness and less teeth.

Travel by air becomes more and more annoying the more restrictions are put into place for security. If you want to take liquids on a plane, you can...as long as no single container is greater than 3 ounces and all containers fit into a "quart-size, clear, resealable, zip-top bag." I'm not sure whether I believe there was ever any sort of plot that caused this or if the actual plot was one that involved companies that make Zip-loc bags and trial size toothpaste. Like everything else in air travel, the enforcement is completely arbitrary, so I managed to get on a plane in one airport with my toothpaste safely in my carry-on bag, only to have it confiscated at the next security station because it was three and a half ounces, and I might try to brush the teeth of the passengers around me against their will. (Personally, I'd think that would be a public service, but I guess not everyone agrees.)

One of the most fascinating things about air travel is the layover at an intermediate airport. You may be stopping in Detroit for three hours on your way from Chicago to St. Louis or spending all day in Charlotte when you travel from Denver to Los Angeles. Not only do the routes you have to take seem to make no sense, but the lengthy layovers provide you the opportunity to spend time observing the other people stuck in the airport with you. There may be families running from gate to gate trying not to miss their flight. There may be couples on their honeymoon, who are the only ones that don't seem to be frustrated by the entire process. Mostly, however, you will find the travelling businessman. There are a few differences depending on whether he is single and hitting on every girl in the gate area, just hanging out in the sports bar, or trying to be productive with his time before the next flight. In spite of these differences, you can still spot them based on the characteristics they (almost all) have in common. First, there is the ubiquitous cellphone, preferably a Blackberry. This is out and on at all times, and even while walking through the airport, the businessman will be sending emails on it. In addition, you can often spot them by the Bluetooth ear piece which makes it look like the terminal is full of extras from Flash Gordon. Of course, there are exceptions to this. You might even happen upon a business man who isn't wearing an earpiece, but rather carrying a book (and by a book, I mean the most recent John Grisham novel or a book about business management). The more time you spend in the airport, the more time you realize that there are really only about 10 people at most wandering around there with you, the rest are just clones of those 10. The real fun is figuring out which of that 10 you are.

It doesn't seem to matter which method of travel you choose, you have to deal with plenty of waiting as well as other people who may be concerned with things other than your convenience. It's useful if you have to travel an extremely long way, but otherwise, I think that until someone perfects the Stark Trek style transporter, I'll stick with my car.

I Don't Know How to Put This, But I'm Kind of a Big Deal

I was listening to the radio this morning and they were discussing the results of a recent survey (from Glamour Magazine or another similarly scientific journal) which discussed what women really want. They asked for women to complete the following sentence: "My perfect man would be ____."

The answers weren't all that surprising, but they certainly don't do anything to help build confidence in the normal guys out there. Just once, it would be nice to hear something praising the average guy (or more specifically, praising someone like me). I want to turn on the radio and hear that 47% of women finished that sentence with "a morbidly obese scientist who happens to run a blog on the side."

Is that really too much to ask? It would make me feel a lot better about myself, and in the grand scheme of things, it's much less insulting to women in general than the actual results in which 100% of the women surveyed essentially said "a wallet."

Useless Information about The Fount of Useless Information

Oh, look. Craig has nothing interesting to say again. What a surprise.

Since I don't have anything to talk about right now, I'll just allow you to feed my narcissism (or my self-loathing, I guess we'll have to see how it works out). Let's find out what you know about me. The quiz below has 20 multiple choice questions about me, all (like everything else on this site) completely useless information. How many do you think you can answer? (and yes, I realize that this is a pathetic post, but like I said I've got nothing left to talk about)

Create your own Friend Quiz here

Say, Say, Say

A few random and completely out of context things that have been said recently.


"We're just lucky we didn't crash. I'm going 65 miles per hour, and suddenly I've got a biscuit in my eye."

"White lion, snow leopard. Same thing."
"Believe me if it was singing When the Children Cry, we'd be videoing it."

"That's going on Youtube with the title, Not as Dramatic as You've Been Led to Believe."

"Remember my thoughts on people who wear their hair in a fauxhawk? I think it's even worse when you style your kid's hair into a fauxhawk."

"It wasn't bad, but I wouldn't buy it again...ever."

"This is either going to be the most disgusting thing ever, or it's going to be really good."

"No, no, I know you need to feed your root beer habit."

"That's quite the hodgepodge of flavors you've got going on."

"I don't know. Maybe they like licking hippies."

Trivial Tuesday

Today is David Duchovny's birthday. Back in the 1990's Duchovny was on The X-Files and played an FBI agent named Fox Mulder. (Oh, come on, you didn't think it would be that easy, did you?) During the height of X-Files mania (just a year or so before the movie), he starred in a not so successful movie called Playing God. Starring opposite him was a future Academy Award winning actress who had not yet reached full star status. Who was she?

Good News Everyone!

As many of you know (and if you didn't know, you could probably figure it out just by reading this site), one of my all time favorite shows is Futurama. It's one of three shows for which my TiVo is set to record all episodes, because I gladly watch episodes multiple times (the other two are The Simpsons and Good Eats). In fact, when I was watching an episode and the text during the intro (You know, the part that always changes: "Bender's humor by Microsoft Joke", "Hey TiVo, Recommend this", etc.) read "Soon to be a major religion," Melissa scoffed and said, "seems like it already is in our house." I have no problem rewatching just about any episode. Well, any episode except for Jurassic Bark. I can't handle that one anymore (and I'm not the only one. Check out this comic from xkcd. You need to hover over the image for the tooltip referencing Jurassic Bark.)

I've said all that to say this: There are new episodes of Futurama coming. Embedded below is a clip from Comic-Con about its return. The quality isn't great (at times you can't even make out what they are saying), but it's the best I can find at the moment. (Unfortunately, there is no sign of Scruffy in this clip.)

Feasting on Asphalt: The River Run

Are you watching Feasting on Asphalt 2? You should be.

The basic premise, much like the original Feasting on Asphalt, involves Alton Brown and his crew traveling the back roads (or at least not the interstate) and finding all the wonderful local food that is available. As we travel along with them, we find not only great regional food, but culture, history and amazing people.

Season One was excellent, and Season Two promises much of the same, though hopefully this time it will not conclude with Alton wiping out on his motorcycle and breaking his collar bone. While the first season took us from the Atlantic Ocean to the Pacific, this season sends Alton north along the Mississippi. The premiere episode included Alton and the crew eating on the street, failed attempts at petting an alligator, references to Pink Floyd, Iron Chef America, Dead Man Walking and The Coneheads, and concluded with a man dancing around in a sausage costume. All in all, it was a informative and entertaining, just like I'd expect.

Set your TiVos my friends and enjoy the journey and the food. Oh, and if you haven't seen the first trip yet, watch for repeats or go buy the DVDs. (how many DVD sets do you know that come with a View-Master? Exactly.)

We Could Have A Butter Eating Contest

I promised the story of making butter but have failed to go back to it. I figured, since I have nothing else to talk about, now would be a good time to share.

One of my absolute favorite television programs is Good Eats. Our TiVo records each episode that airs, and I often go back and rewatch older episodes that have been recorded again. A few weeks ago, I was watching an older episode ("The Case For Butter") and Alton Brown did a quick demo where he put heavy cream into a food processor and turned it into butter. Immediately, my brain went to work. Can I do this? Is there any reason to do this? If I decide to make my own butter is that voice of reason, better known as a wife, going to try to stop me? Eventually I decided the answers were, "probably", "Is there any reason not to?" and "of course" and that I wouldn't do it.

Not long after that, Melissa's sister, L, came to visit. While we waited for Melissa to finish getting ready to go see Harry Potter¹, L decided she wanted to watch some Good Eats. We had already watched the most recent episode, so she asked what other episodes would be good. Since the episode is one of the most informative, I suggested the butter episode I had recently watched. When we reached the portion of the episode in which he makes the butter, she looked at the TV, surprised, and said, "Wait a minute, so..."² By the time we left for the movie, we had talked Melissa into it and made plans to get supplies after the movie.³

There are other ways to make butter⁴ but here is how we did it (with pictures):

Obtain cream. We used heavy whipping cream. The key here is that the more fat in the cream, the more butter you will have at the end.



Put the cream into a mixing bowl, perhaps like the one for this mixer. (The test tube spice rack is entirely optional)



Decide if you want your butter salted. I added a half teaspoon or so of salt to our butter, since I knew we wouldn't use it up too rapidly.

Begin whipping. Just act like you are making whipped cream (but without adding sugar). You know how people say not to over-whip whipped cream? There's a very good reason why, and in this case you want to completely ignore that advice. When you keep agitating the cream past the point of being whipped cream, you begin to separate the fat and the liquid that were in the original cream (it took us about 20-25 minutes for this to happen). Keep beating until this separation happens and you end up with distinct solid and liquid elements⁵ in the bowl. Like this:



Remove the solids and place them on cheesecloth (or in our case, paper towels in a colander) to help remove any of the remaining liquid. Your dog may look on longingly at this point, but it is not required (even if it is cute).



Once the butter has drained a little more, put it into a container for storage and put it in the fridge or just start putting it on some bread.



In the end, you are left with a big hunk of butter that tastes...well, like fresh, creamy butter.

It was fun, tasty and perhaps a little pointless, but I'm certainly glad we did it. Now if I can just get Melissa to let me try making bacon...

¹ One disadvantage of having only one bathroom in a house is that you spend a lot of time waiting for everyone else to get ready.

² As you might guess, the success of my unintentional nefarious plan was met with much evil laughter and dry-washing of hands.

³ Don't you love how I'm portraying Melissa as against me having any fun? Apparently she's the Marge to my Homer in this post.

⁴ The easiest being, go to the store and picking up the package of Land O'Lakes.


⁵ The solids are, of course, the butter. The liquid is buttermilk. Actual buttermilk. It's very thin and apparently not as tart as the buttermilk you buy at the store. The buttermilk from the store has nothing to do with butter, it is cultured buttermilk, which is just milk to which certain bacterial cultures have been added. I imagine you could use the buttermilk from this process for anything you use cultured buttermilk for, but we just threw ours away.

Strange Happenings at the Grocery Store

I was at the deli counter trying to get ham and pastrami for sandwiches, and the person at the counter questioned where I was from originally. I told him, and he explained that he could tell that I was from Alabama or at least somewhere in the South. I can't tell you how long it's been since anyone picked up my remnant of an accent, much less pinpointed where I got it.



Apparently, the way I say "pound" gives me away. Who knew?