Empty Headed Ramblings

Before we start, a warning. Only random thoughts on random things lie ahead. Those looking for a coherent post should look elsewhere.

A Red Robin restaurant opened up near us not too long ago and we've gone there a few times to eat. Recently, I discovered that one of the appetizers they serve is a gigantic plate of chili-cheese fries. Simply calling them chili-cheese fries is misleading though. It is a massive pile of fries topped with chili, at least two types of cheese, jalapeño slices and bacon. I love these things, but I have to admit that I'm curious as to whether they could take the entire mass, batter it and drop it in the deep fryer. That's gotta make it even better right?

In related news, my heart hurts.¹

I found out recently that stonewashed jeans aren't typically stone washed anymore. The original process involved tossing the fabric in with some pumice but was apparently not cheap, environmentally friendly or all that nice to the fabric. A newer process uses various molds like Trichoderma to essentially eat a little bit of the cotton and give the jeans the color and texture of being already "broken in." Now, this may show why I'm a scientist and not a marketing executive, but shouldn't you stop calling them "stonewashed" when you remove the stones from the process? Maybe fungal-digested denim doesn't have as nice of a ring to it. If it were up to me, I'd be bragging about the things and marketing them with names like Levi's 501 Fungipants. Can you honestly tell me that wouldn't be a big seller?

Heard on Jericho last night: "The internet was created by the military. It was made to withstand nuclear war." Ok, so if the internet was invented by the military² and designed to withstand nuclear war, why is it that I can't get online if there are 10 mph winds?

I was looking through some of the unfinished posts I have and realized that I have a draft in my Blogger account from March. If I've waited this long to finish it, should I just go ahead and delete it now? I feel like that would be giving up, but at the same time I'm not sure how good the idea for a post was, so I might not ever finish it either.

Every once in a while, I like to do a google search using my name to see what comes up. I have an uncommon last name, so pretty much anything that comes up actually involves me. It's essentially the same four or so things every time, but I go back and check to see if there is anything new. First of all, is that weird? Second, why isn't there a good term for googling ones self. This will be my new quest: to come up with a name that can be used in regular, polite conversation for this process.

That's all I've got for you folks. My head is as empty as that Jack O' Lantern you scooped out in preparation for Halloween.

¹ I don't have to tell you guys it's a joke, right?³ I mean, it should be obvious that if I'm actually dying, I wouldn't sit around blogging about it instead of calling 911⁴.

² Aren't you impressed how I sidestepped that Al Gore joke masquerading as a dead horse.

³ It's also a line from the Simpsons. We see Homer sitting at a table with Bart telling him that "as long as you live in my house, you live by my rules. Now butter your bacon." Bart puts butter on his bacon and eats it. "But Dad, my heart hurts." "Bacon up that sausage, boy!" Bart wraps bacon around his sausage link and eats it. (This isn't a perfect version of the scene, but you get the point.)

⁴ Get, get up. Get, get down. 911 is a joke in your town⁵.

⁵ Not really, I just felt like using the lyrics to that song. Then again it might be for all I know. I don't know your town. It could have a perfectly wonderful 911 system or it could be a joke.