It Might Be Time for An Intervention

I don't like McDonald's. Really, I don't. The only reason to go there is convenience and the occasional apple pie (which is not as good as actual apple pie, but much more portable...the world needs more portable pies.). So why am I going there so much recently?

They keep luring me back in with the chance to win at Monopoly. I even went there for lunch today. Did I take a look at the menu and order based on what I most wanted to eat? Of course not. I ordered based on the number of game pieces I get. Ok, if I get large fries, I get two pieces and a Best Buy game piece, two more for the large soft drink and--wow! look at that.--two more pieces and another Best Buy Buck for a chicken sandwich. I don't really like their chicken sandwiches, but how could I pass that up?

So, instead of losing weight like I should, I'm getting fatter. It's like I'm starring in my own homage to Supersize Me. The Monopoly game pieces? Well, I'm one piece away from winning each prize, and I imagine it will stay that way until the game ends. I'm not stupid. I know I won't win, but I still have to keep going back. Meanwhile, I'm almost ready to purchase a 42-inch plasma screen TV with my Best Buy Bucks.

And people wonder why I won't play the lottery or gamble. I go insane over a stupid fast food game. How do you think I'm gonna handle those?

I think I need help. And if I find out that the game is rigged again, I'm suing them to pay for the triple bypass I'm gonna need.

Until later...