Youthful Indiscretions

I was talking with a few people at work recently about seeing the same movies over and over at the theater as a child. During the conversation, a point was raised that, with many of these movies we watched repeatedly, it is embarrassing as an adult to admit how much you used to like them. Today, we're going for the same principle, but I'm changing media.

Let's talk about embarrassing music I owned when I was younger (long enough ago, that these would have been tapes):

Milli Vanilli. Don't act like you didn't think they were rad back in the day. Before it came out that they were frauds, everything they touched turned to gold (or platinum, as the case may be). Now, unfortunately, Rob is dead, or is it Fab?

New Kids on The Block. This would without a doubt be the most embarrassing except that it was a gift. At least I only had one tape and didn't own the remix tape (no, I'm not implying anyone else did, why?).

Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch. Yeah, we're sticking with the Wahlberg family here. The first Marky Mark album, I bought for myself. The follow album up was a gift, so I think we can excuse that. What I can't excuse is that I played that first album over and over.

Slaughter. You know, "Up all night, sleep all day." Remember? No? I wish I didn't.

Vanilla Ice. Another competitor for most humiliating. Unfortunately, it also loses out because everyone owned this tape. The truly humiliating part is that I can still quote, "All right, Stop! Collaborate and listen. Ice is back with a brand new invention. Something grabs a hold of me tightly. Flow like a harpoon daily and nightly. 'Will it ever stop?' Yo, I don't know. Turn off the lights and I'll glow. To the extreme, I rock a mic like a vandal. Light up the stage and wax a chump like a candle." I wonder what I could have stored in that portion of my brain that might have been of more use than those lyrics? Even more depressing is that when we began to combine tapes after getting married, we discovered that we now possessed two copies of To the Extreme, because not only did we both own it, but neither of us had bothered to throw it away yet.
Damn Yankees. Can you take me high enough? Hopefully high enough to jump to my death if I have to listen to that song again.

Great White. I bought this album because of how much I loved the song "Once Bitten, Twice Shy." If I remember correctly, I think I also turned the cover of the cassette insert around, because I was worried about getting in trouble for the cover art which had female legs that were exposed all the way up to the hips. Yes, I sucked as a child. I was a loser. Shut up and leave me alone.

MC Hammer. Technically I only had one MC Hammer album. When the album with "2 Legit 2 Quit" came out, he had dropped the MC and was just Hammer. I'm not sure which of these was more embarrassing. I'm going with the 2nd, because it means I didn't learn the first time.

Poison. As if owning a Poison album (in this case, Open Up and Say Ahh) wasn't bad enough. I had a copy made by a friend. I played that tape so much I just about wore it out.

Samantha Fox. She was attractive, and somehow at 12 or 13 I was convinced that hot female artists would have revealing pictures of themselves on the inside art. See note at end of Great White comments.

Paula Abdul. I believe I had three Paula Abdul tapes, including a dance remix tape. I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that this is the most embarrassing portion of my youthful music collection. I'd love to defend myself, but I really can't. Even the above Samantha Fox defense can't justify this.

I thought this might be cathartic, but instead I just feel pathetic. Feel free to comment and list some of your own. I wouldn't want to be the only one humiliated here.

Until later, check out the hook while my DJ revolves it...