You Never Get a Second Chance to Make a First Impression

I hate finding out what other people think when they first meet me. It's never a good thing. Case in point, my friend and coworker, whom I shall call Fashion Maven.

Since she is making her first appearance, I'll take a moment to introduce her. She works in the same building I do, just one door down from my office. I decided to call her Fashion Maven because that's really what she is. She seems to know what is fashionable before it becomes fashionable and can pull of wearing things no one else would even consider (raise your hands if you have a pair of lime green slingbacks). She is always dressed well even when she's not dressed up. A while back, MK and I went to a movie with Fashion Maven and a friend of hers. There we were, waiting in the lobby of the theater: jeans, sweatshirts, sneakers. It was 10:00 at night for crying out loud, we were lucky I was conscious. In walks Fashion Maven who is also in jeans, but with a nice top, a shawl and a nice selection from her seemingly endless shoe collection. Don't let the clothes and shoes fool you though, she's a nerd too, just a closeted one. In fact, she wanted to be NPR Barbie instead of Fashion Maven, but I refused on the grounds that I couldn't allow her to pick her own name, especially if it was several times wittier than the one I gave her. So, the official introductions: netdom meet Fashion Maven. Fashion Maven, netdom. Now that we've all been formally introduced, let's get to the story.

In talking with Fashion Maven recently, I have, on two separate occasions, learned of impressions she had of me when we first met. She recently told me that when she first met me she thought that she wasn't smart enough, or, to be more specific, she felt that I didn't think she was smart enough to be my friend or to work with. It would seem that I give off some sort of elitist vibe to people who do not yet know me. The other thing she told me is that after she did get to know me better, she thought I didn't like her. Fashion Maven has a fairly playful personality and tends to tease people a lot. Early on, I feigned offense at this a few times, and my sarcasm was apparently not clear enough. Because of this, she was convinced for quite some time that I hated her. So now I am apparently a overly-sensitive, grudge-holding elitist (I personally believe myself to be only one of those three things). These are the types of things I really don't want to find out that people think about me. It shouldn't upset me, but it does. She freely admits that she is almost always wrong about first impressions, but I still feel quite guilty. Obviously, since I referred to Fashion Maven as a friend, these things didn't have a permanent impact, but it still bothers me.

If you'll excuse me, I'm going to go curl into a ball and rock back and forth while pondering whether I am actually giving off these signals or if I am just easily misunderstood.

Until later...