You Kiss Your Mother With That Mouth?

Ways to anger me if you are a dog:

Decide that the dogs on TV are real and must be barked at to make them leave your territory.

Repeatedly demand to go outside in the cold and snow, but don't bother to do anything to eliminate waste from your body...which is the whole reason we're out here in the first place.

While outside, go to one of the piles you left on a previous visit (now completely frozen), pick up the poopsicle (You see what I did there? Clever, isn't it?) and run full speed around the yard with it in your mouth.

Ways to amuse me if you are a dog:

Immediately aft coming inside, go try to give "puppy kisses" to the person who didn't have to stand outside with you.