Meme Time Is Here

Since Mikey decided to tag me with this meme (a week ago), I suppose I have to post something now. The meme is simple, list 5 things about myself that you don't know. The problem I have is what am I willing to tell you that I haven't already? I guess we'll find out.

1. When I was in grad school, there were several occasions where I spent a good bit of time in a dark room to expose and develop x-ray film for Southern blots. It turns out that if you leave all alone in a pitch black room for a while, my mind starts deciding all sorts of things. Things like that there was another person in the room and if I was still enough and listened closely I could here them, or that there was a crazy killer rampaging through the halls killing everyone else and he wouldn't find me as long as I didn't make any noise. I never believed these things, they were just thoughts that popped into my head for a moment before being pushed out by logic, but I take them as evidence that my mind is broken and shouldn't be allowed too much time on its own. (As an aside, I found out after working in the dark for a while one day that if you pull out one of the cardboard spacers that are between the pieces of x-ray film and try to expose and develop it, it doesn't work too well.)

2. When I was young, I hated school so much that I would often play sick so that I could stay home. I refused to lie about how sick I was, so I would occasionally gag myself with my finger so that I would throw up and then I could say that I had thrown up and not have to lie. You have to love that logic: I won't lie and say I threw up when I didn't, but it's perfectly ok to ignore the fact that it was self-induced.

3. If I'm not good at something, I tend to try to be funny instead. For example, observe these Christmas cookies from 2001. I can make the cookies just fine, but when it comes time to decorate them, my attempts at nice looking cookies end up looking like 3rd grade art projects (I apologize to any third graders who are offended by being compared to me.), so I decided to be humorous. That's how I end up with stocking cookies turned into gold-toe dress socks,



and gingerbread men in prison jumpsuits



or gingerbread men wearing wife-beaters (complete with tattoos).



I figure that if I'm goofy enough no one will be paying attention to the fact that I'm not very good.

4. I don't write this blog to become popular (which is good, because I'd be a complete failure), but when I see year end blog awards, I kind of wish I could have as many people interested in what I have to say as they do.

5. I have a tendency to get songs stuck in my head, like just about everyone else. The main difference is that when a song is stuck in my head I tend to sing it to the dogs, complete with new, dog-centric lyrics. Sure the lyrics are repetitive and I'm a complete dope, but how many of your pets have songs about them? That's what I thought.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to get back to baking Christmas cookies. (What? Have I not told you that I'm always running late? I guess I should have made that #6.)