LA Face with the North Pole Booty?

With incredible apologies to Sir Mix-a-lot and pretty much anyone who reads this, I give you this year's holiday poetry:


I want new toys and I cannot lie,
You other kiddies can't deny,
That when Claus walks in with his big ol' jiggly waist,
And that white beard on his face,
You act good,
Wanna be all nice,
Cause you know he checks that list twice,
Mixed in with toys he's carryin',
Is coal but I'm just not carin',
Hey Santa, I wanna sit with ya,
And take our picture,
My mommy tried to warn me,
That those toys you've got,
(Are for good boys only,)
No Cabbage Patch Kids,
But a Wii to play with my friends,
Well check me, check me, the nice list is where you'd expect me,

So gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme lots of toys,
Santa's Toy Sack