August 25, 2006

Who Wants to Be a Superhero ep. 5

Tonight on a very special episode of Blossom Who Wants to Be a Superhero...

It's the penultimate episode of WWTBAS, featuring the penultimate elimination. (By the way, I really like the word penultimate. Have I mentioned that?) Down to the last three (Fat Momma, Major Victory and Feedback), we start off with our beloved superheroes doing housework in full costume. And who could blame them; wouldn't you be more likely to clean a toilet if you got to wear a cape and boots while doing it? Yeah, me either.

Stan notifies the remaining three that it's time to face the toughest judges: Children. They visit an elementary school class and have prototypes of comic covers revealed to them. After seeing the covers, they each have a turn explaining their character to the kids. While Major Victory amuses the kids with his typical antics, Fat Momma explains the purpose of her superhero, to teach kids to respect themselves. Feedback attempts to explain his origins and powers to the children, but is met with blank stares and the sounds of crickets chirping. Perhaps if the kids were a bit older, they would have been interested, but at this age, everything he said was beyond their comprehension. His talk with the kids did provide the best line of the night, however. When asked what his favorite video game was, Feedback told the kids that it was Pong, inspiring one of the kids to later say, "I've never heard of Pong. I think he just made it up." After everyone has a chance to explain themselves to the kids, the children must choose their favorite superhero. As expected, Fat Momma wins in a landslide.

Before the superheroes have a chance to unwind, it's time to leap into action. The Dark Enforcer has been spotted and they need to find him before he hurts anyone. He doesn't really seem all that threatening, since he isn't doing anything besides standing around with a stopwatch, but who are we to question Stan Lee? They are each given a clue, which leads to the next clue and the next until they eventually know where to locate the Dark Enforcer. Major Victory races around looking for the next clues and cracking jokes. After just over 15 minutes, he meets up with the Dark Enforcer. Feedback is next, and he moves through the clues as quickly as Major Victory. Unfortunately, when he reaches the person with the final clue, he takes a while to help her get her purse back in order, including spending an eternity trying to pick a penny up off of the ground. He finishes helping her and runs on to the last checkpoint, just a few seconds behind Major Victory's time. Last is Fat Momma, who decides that instead of hurrying through the clues, she will stop to borrow a french fry or two from various people. She does reach the end of the course, but not until 40 minutes later than either of the others took.

Back at the lair, the superheroes prepare for the next (and penultimate!) elimination. As they discuss the ramifications of what is about to happen, Fat Momma excuses herself and ends up locking herself in the bathroom and refusing to come back out until she can talk to one of the producers of the show. As she uses her superhero powers to smash through the fourth wall, she tells the producer that she just doesn't think she can go on. She believes that Feedback wants and needs this more than anyone else, and that she should be taken off the show. They talk for a while and eventually, the producer tells her to talk it over with the other contestants. After much talking and crying and hugging, Feedback and Major Victory talk her into staying and they all head up to the roof.

Stan has them all step forward onto the red cubes and prepare for the elimination. He tells them all how proud he is of how they have done so far. He does, however, provide criticism for each of them: Feedback for talking over the kids' heads, Fat Momma for not taking the timed aspect of the challenge seriously, and Major Victory for always joking. When the time finally comes for someone to be eliminated, he has to let Major Victory go, because at times he is "almost a parody of a superhero". Major Victory steps off his cube and goes to turn in his costume, and both Feedback and Fat Momma are stunned. Feedback looks at Major Victory, then back at Stan. He stands back on his cube and attempts to address Stan, prompting Major Victory to tell him to "Shut up. You're not the shot caller," which likely saves Feedback from doing anything that would qualify as both noble and stupid. Before Major Victory can leave, Stan stops him and reminds him of why he entered the contest, which was to show his daughter that he could be a hero. Stan tells him that he has accomplished that mission and points him to a phone where his daughter is waiting to talk to him. He talks to her, they say that they love each other, and she tells him that she's proud and that he is her hero. He cries. She cries. Feedback cries. Fat Momma cries. Even Stan cries. Not one to leave on a sad note, Major Victory tells his daughter that he will talk to her later, more privately and as he walks away asks Stan, "Can I keep the phone? It's a nice one."

With only one episode left (because this was the penultimate episode), I can't help but think that Major Victory had better have a cameo appearance in the comic made for whoever wins this competition.

2 comments:

Agent 31 said...

Why not address the true issue here, Craig? All of these heroes are absolutely terrible! I plan on writing a full post about it once the season is over, but really, do any of these clowns warrant immortalization?

Meh. Either way, I'm glad Major Victory is gone. He was about one more goofy hair flop away from getting slapped with a lawsuit by Morrissey.

Marni said...

I thoughy MV was hilarious -- of course he reminds me of one of my best friends. Only my best friend doesn't wear a red body suit with black, shiny panties...

Anyhoo! Loved it last night. Have to admit I got a little teary eyed during the phone call.

Who will win? My guess is Feedback. The final two may not be the most superhero-ish, but they are a couple of characters. Feedback wants it SO much and I think Stan wants him to have it as well.