Playing 20 Questions and 20 More Questions

Ah, memes. Salvation of the uninspired blogger. I stole this one from Ms. Q of Whirled Peas. Sort of. She only did 20 instead of all 40, but we won't hold that against her. Anyway, here's the meme.

1) Who is the last person you high-fived? I honestly couldn't tell you the last time I high-fived someone. It's probably been a while.

2) If you were drafted into a war, would you survive? Considering my inability to remain quiet, my tendency toward clumsiness and a few million other factors, the answer is probably yes, for about 5 minutes.

3) Do you sleep with the TV on? Only if I fall asleep in the recliner.

4) Have you ever drunk milk straight out of the carton? I started to say yes, but not in a long time. Then I remembered that if we buy chocolate milk, it might not ever see a glass.

5) Have you ever won a spelling bee? I couldn't win a spelling bee if I were the only contestant.

6) Have you ever been stung by a bee? Once, about ten or fifteen years ago. Or maybe it wasn't a bee, but a wasp. It was some sort of stinging thing that ran into me right as I walked out the door. It stung me on the side of the head.

7) How fast can you type? Interesting question. Type with a keyboard and free use of the backspace key or on a typewriter with no corrections allowed and deductions for typos? On a computer where I can backspace and correct all I want. Reasonably fast, but not exactly blazing. The other way...well, let's just say I once took a typing test in high school and ended up with negative words per minute.

8) Are you afraid of the dark? Dark? Not really. The unknown, heights, failure? Yeah.

9) What color are your eyes? Green

10) Have you ever made out at a drive-in? Do I look like I grew up in the fifties?

11) When is the last time you chose a bath over a shower? Whenever I want to hide and read, don't feel good, am sore or just feel like it.

12) Do you knock on wood? Only if it is a door I want someone to answer.

13) Do you floss daily? If you are my dentist I do.

14) What happened to question #14? Nothing, it's right here.

15) Can you hula hoop? I can't even hu-

16) Are you good at keeping secrets? Like I'd tell you.

17) What do you want for Christmas? I can't come up with an answer to this question when someone asks me at Christmastime. I have no idea how to answer this in April other than to say, my two front teeth. (Stupid Chipmunks corrupting my brain.)

18) Do you know the Muffin Man? Cue Shrek flashback in 3, 2, 1...Not my gumdrop buttons.

19) Do you talk in your sleep? How would I know? I'm sleeping.

20) Who wrote the book of love? I guess that depends on what you mean by love. Since just about everyone who has done this has answered with a reference to the song, I'll venture a guess that it might be Masters and Johnson. (It's a joke, people.)

21) Have you ever flown a kite? Yes, but not for many, many years.

22) Do you wish on your fallen lashes? No, but if I get too stressed I pluck hair from the crown of my head or from my chin. Trichotillomania: fun for the whole family.

23) Do you consider yourself successful? Sometimes, when I'm not busy obsessing over being a failure.

24) How many people are on your contact list of your cell? Wait, does the pizza place count as one person or do have to count all the employees too?

25) Have you ever asked for a pony? No. It sounds like too much responsibility. Besides, I have a car.

26) Plans for tomorrow? Let's see...tomorrow is Thursday, so I'll be working.

27) Can you juggle? Almost as well as I hula hoop.

28) Missing someone now? Who isn't?

29) When was the last time you told someone I Love You? Probably the last time I walked out the door to my house, if not since then.

30) And truly meant it? I find this question kind of insulting. I wouldn't have said it otherwise.

31) How often do you drink? Several times every day. If you don't you'll die of thirst. You can't live without water, you know.

32) How are you feeling today? Stressed, tired, and I have a bit of a sore throat now that I think about it. Thanks for asking. Wait, I was probably just supposed to say "Fine" like everyone expects when they ask that.

33) What do you say too much? I never shut up. The real question is what don't I say too much.

34) Have you ever been suspended or expelled from school? Please, my halo was practically glued on. (That was a no, by the way.)

35) What are you looking forward to? Now, do I go for the cheap joke and say "Question 40" or actually answer this one? Decisions, decisions. Nope, laziness wins and my final answer is Question 40.

36) Have you ever crawled through a window? I don't think so, and if I haven't done it in the past, I'm certainly not going to do it now.

37) Have you ever eaten dog food? No, and I'm rather proud of that fact.

38) Can you handle the truth? I can handle it as long as you admit that you want me on that wall. You need me on that wall.

39) Do you like green eggs and ham? I don't care if it's from a book, St. Patrick's Day won't get you off the hook. Meat and eggs aren't green in color, nor blue nor orange nor any other.

40) Any cool scars? Hmm...I have scars from having my gall bladder removed and from having my knee repaired. I don't know if they qualify as "cool" or not, they never tended to hang out with the really cool crowd.