Morning Meme

I have nothing better to do while waiting for oatmeal to cook this morning, so I present to you a meme, stolen without any sort of remorse from Esther.

1. The phone rings. Who are you hoping it is? Ed McMahon letting me know that I won the Publisher's Clearinghouse American Family Publishing Sweepstakes that I never entered.

2. When shopping at the grocery store, do you return your cart? Almost always. The exception is the Wal-Mart parking lot, because they don't have cart return places other than all the way up by the doors to the store.

3. In a social setting, are you more of a talker or a listener? Do I know everyone? Am I comfortable around them? Am I heavily medicated? If the answers to these questions are not all yes, I'm much more of a hide in a corner kinda guy.

4. If abandoned alone in the wilderness, would you survive? At first, I'd be afraid. I'd be petrified...long story short, yes, I would survive.

5. Do you like horses? Well, they are quite pretty animals, but they smell bad, and you can't (or, at least, I won't) eat them. I can take 'em or leave 'em.

6. Did you ever go to camp as a kid? I went to Boy Scout camp every summer. Yes, I was in the Boy Scouts. I'm an Eagle Scout. Did I not tell you that? Well, I have now. I also went to YMCA summer camp once and hated it.

7. What was your favorite board game as a kid? I'm not sure. Clue, maybe.

8. If a sexy person was pursuing you, but you knew he/she was taken what would you do? Why do you know something I don't? Who is it? Is it Angelina Jolie? It is, isn't it?

9. Are you judgmental? No, I'm not. Man, you're awfully nosy.

10. Would you date someone with different religious beliefs? Melissa won't let me date anyone no matter what religious beliefs they have.

11. Are you continuing your education? Only if someone wishes to pay me my full salary and pay for school and even then I don't think I really want to.

12. Do you know how to shoot a gun? You can't prove that. I don't know what you're talking about.

13. If your house was on fire, what’s the first thing you’d grab? A fire extinguisher?

14. How often do you read books? As much as I can. I almost always have at least one I'm reading.

15. Do you think more about the past, present or future? I think about them all. The past: "I can't believe I did something so stupid." The present: "You know, this thing I'm doing right now may actually be fairly stupid." The future: "What stupid thing am I going to do next?"

16. What is your favorite children’s book? I'd have to say the Velveteen Rabbit, because I like rabbits and I like cheese. OK, seriously, I have no idea how to answer this one.

17. How tall are you? 6’3", or approximately as high as I am wide.

18. Where is your ideal house located? I'm not sure. I don't think I've found it yet.

19. Last person you talked to? Melissa to say, "The oatmeal is done."

20. When was the last time you were at the Olive Garden? It's been a while. Mostly because the last time I was there we decided not to go back because the service and food were so bad.

21. What are your keys on your key chain for? Front door, back door, back door deadbolt. I don't have a key to the car, it's magic.

22. What did you do last night? The same thing I do every night, Pinky, try to take over the world. (So far, no success.)

23. Where is your current pain? My neck. Do you want a list of all the people causing that pain?

24. Do you like mustard? Yes, yellow mustard and brown mustard and honey mustard and Dijon mustard and especially stone ground mustard.

25. Did you like your mom and dad? Did I like them? Are you implying that I don't like them anymore? Yes, I did and I do. So there.

26. How long does it take you to shower? Am I awake? If I'm fully awake, it can be quick, otherwise, I might stand there for a while hoping that the hot water will wake me.

27. What movie do you want to see right now? El Laberinto del Fauno. Sure I could have just said, Pan's Labyrinth, but it wouldn't have sounded nearly as pretentious.

28. Do you put lotion on your dog or cats? As furry as our dogs are, I can't imagine that being a good idea. Besides, I won't put lotion on myself, why would I put it on the dogs?

29. What did you do for New Year’s? I'm not completely sure, but I believe it involved sitting around in front of the TV.

30. Do you think The Grudge was scary? Scary as in because I saw it and the movie scared me? No, I haven't seen it. Scary as in "It's scary that they keep remaking films from other countries and putting people like Sarah Michelle Gellar in them?" Yes.

31. Do you own a camera phone? No, but Melissa does. Do you use it?Anytime there's something funny.

32. What's the last letter of your middle name? G

33. Who did you vote for on American Idol? I voted once on the show, for Kelly Clarkson. Now, I don't even watch anything past the awful auditions shows.