Trivial Tuesday

While you now know that yesterday was my birthday, you may not realize that it was also the anniversary of the Battle of Stamford Bridge where, in 1066, King Harold II of England defeated Harald III of Norway. Unfortunately, any celebration of the victory was cut short along with the reign of Harold II when less than a month later he was killed at the Battle of Hastings. The conquering forces at Hastings were led by what man who went on to be king of England?

Three Decades Down

So, it appears that I'm officially old now. At least, that's what people keep telling me. I don't feel that old, and certainly don't feel any more mature. More mature or not, I no longer get to claim to be in my twenties, since today is my thirtieth birthday. I don't typically talk about my birthday, in fact I've deliberately avoided talking about it here in the past. This year has to be a little different though.

Melissa, who can never keep any sort of gift or surprise a secret, planned a surprise party for me. She planned out a nostalgic roller skating party complete with a soundtrack she put came up with and compiled herself. It had all the music you need for skating, from It Takes Two to Bust a Move to Youth Gone Wild. (I didn't ask how much she had to download to make the soundtrack. One of the joys of having a birthday is that you don't get to know how much was spent of things.) As if having the party (and recently buying me a Media Center PC and new monitor) was not enough, she also got me the I Love The 80's game and a 80's version of Trivial Pursuit.

So, while I don't know if worth anywhere near that much trouble, I certainly won't complain about it. Like I said, I didn't intend to talk about my birthday on here, but after all that, I had to. Of course, now that I know she can manage to keep a secret, I might be suspicious a bit more often.

Trivial Tuesday

Ahoy mateys, it's International Talk Like a Pirate Day. Since I don't feel like typing this entire post in piratese_(TM), how about a pirate related question instead?

Robert Louis Stevenson's 1883 novel, Treasure Island, gave us many of things we associate with pirates today. One of these is the first recorded instance of the song that include the lyrics, "Yo-ho-ho, and a bottle of rum." My question for you is this: In that song, how many men are on the dead man's chest?

First correct answer in the comments section wins bragging rights...but no rum.

I'm Not Dead Yet

Ok, so it turns out I'm not dying. It was just a cold. My blog is back, too, so maybe I was just being a little overdramatic. I do appreciate the comments, especially from Laziest Girl who truly understands the phenomenon of the "man cold".

Since I've already got you here. Have you seen the Verizon Wireless commercial where a woman bumps into a guy she has been trying to avoid? He asks what's going on, becase he has tried to call her dozens of times. She blames her cell, "the service is so unreliable" *shakes fist* "Grrr." He explains that she should switch and then goes on his way. After he leaves, the entire "Verizon Network" comes out of hiding and she thanks them, because he would never have believed the unreliable service story if he saw the support of her phone network. It's mildly amusing, if a little annoying after the 700th time you see it.

I noticed something new recently that added to my enjoyment of the commercial, though. When the sleazy guy is telling her to switch so that they can "reconnect", he actually turns his head and checks out the butt of a girl that walks past them. It just adds to the sleaze factor of the guy and helps to develop his character. I don't really know why, but since I've noticed that, it cracks me up everytime.

I'm Think I'm Dying

Either that or I have a cold, but for now I'm sticking with dying. So, if you don't see an update from me for a while, you can assume that I have gone on to a greater purpose of being the first North American victim of the avian flu epidemic. Now if you'll excuse me, I have some people to go infect.

P.S. It appears that blogger is convinced I am already dead, since my blog seems to be M.I.A. Even though I'm posting this, I can't seem to find my blog at the moment. If you see it would you let me know and encourage it to go back home? Thanks.

Mythbusters: Movie Myths

I make no secret about my love for Mythbusters. It's one of my favorite shows on TV right now. Last night they had a two hour long special about movie myths. It made me stay up past my bedtime, but it was absolutely worth it.

Like all episodes of Mythbusters, there was plenty of destruction and the results defy the simple categories of Confirmed, Plausible and Busted that they are lumped into at the end. Let's run through the myths and what happened.

Awning Fall (Plausible): Remember the scene in Temple of Doom where Indy and Kate Capshaw run behind a rolling gong to hide from bullets then jump out a window, ripping through three awnings, and bouncing off a fourth. The team set up three awnings for Buster to fall through, while shock stickers were added to various parts of his body to test the forces he would be subject to in the fall. Buster fell straight through the first awning and became wedged in the second. They went ahead and cut him out, allowing him to fall to the third and then to the ground. When his shock stickers were examined, they found that he had not suffered any forces that would be lethal, making the myth that using awnings to break your fall plausible. The word plausible fails to mention that if Buster had hit at different angles, he might have still been dead and that his injuries would have been such that even landing in Short Round's car wouldn't have been enough to give him a quick getaway. I don't know about you, but the sight of Buster's limbs detached from his body was enough to make me think I wouldn't want to do it.

Ejector Seat (Plausible): This was probably one of the more straightforward results. Adam and Jamie built an ejector seat into an old Toyota. Using air pressure, they were able to make the seat eject, taking a test dummy with it. It may not be like the ejector seats in spy movies, but the principle is the same, and it worked.

Sword cutting a sword (Busted): Since every movie with a swordfight seems to have a scene where someone cuts an opponent's sword in two, Grant, Tory and Kari tested whether a sword could really slice another one. Since none of them were expert swordsmen (and it wouldn't be too safe either) Grant built a sword swinging machine. Personally, I was hoping for something a little more Battlebots like, but hey, a decapitation machine is a decapitation machine. First, they tested using a high quality sword against a weaker display only katana and found that the real thing sliced straight through the weaker sword. However, they could never get the same results using two swords of the correct quality. It didn't seem to matter if they used a katana, rapier, claymore or Viking sword. The myth was busted. The problem with simply saying it was busted was that yes, the sword didn't slice the other, but on at least 3 if not 4 occasions the target sword still broke. It was not a cut, but are we ever sure that it is a slice in the movies? Swords can definitely break each other, but won't cut through each other unless one of the swordsmen grabs a stainless steel display sword on his way to the duel.

Shooting Out Locks (Busted/Plausible): Lots of locks. Lots of guns. Lots of destruction. The team tried shooting out a bunch of deadbolts and padlocks with 2 handguns and 2 rifles. The padlocks and deadbolts both gave the same results. A 9 mm and .357 made the locks look pretty ugly, but they still worked. (For the padlocks, had none of these people seen the Master Lock ad where they shoot it with a handgun?) Once Grant moved up to the shotgun and the M1, the locks really didn't stand a chance. You can absolutely shoot out a lock with a high powered rifle from short range, as long as you don't mind getting showered with dangerous and potentially lethal shrapnel. I'll stick with a key, thanks.

Bullet Breakthrough (Busted): In Underworld, Kate Beckinsale shoots the ground around her feet to make a hole that falls through, allowing her to quickly get to the next floor down. I think Tom and Jerry used to do similar things, only with a saw. Tory set up a rig that would allow him to safely blast away the floor with a submachine gun. Once the floor was riddled with bullets, the sandbags on the target should fall safely to the next floor. Unfortunately, after 360 bullets from his machine gun and a few helpful rounds from Grant with the shotgun, the floor was still there. Damaged, but still there.

The Dukes of Hazzard Jump (Busted): The big myth for the night was jumping a car off a mound of dirt and having it land on all four wheels so that you can drive away. Jamie rigged a remote control up to a car which would run the course he and Adam had prepared. From the film, it appeared that the car was going 75 mph and traveled about 175 feet. They had the dirt ramp set up and the car up to 75. When it hit the ramp, it went airborne and flew, just like in the movies. It even went about 172 feet before taking a nose dive and demolishing the front end of the car. In case that was not enough to bust the myth, they showed the long jump champion for cars. He traveled over 200 feet, and the car landed on four wheels in drivable condition. Unfortunately, he spent the next 6 weeks in a hospital. The bottom line: Don't try this at home. You, the car or both are not going to make it.

I hope more of you out there watched it, because this episode was great. I just wish that while they were on the subject of Temple of Doom, they could have tested the whole pulling a beating heart out of someone's chest thing.

Trivial Tuesday

I saw recently that a special edition DVD of Romancing the Stone with Kathleen Turner and Michael Douglas was being released. Appearing in Romancing the Stone as a fan Joan Wilder's novels was Alfonso Arau. Arau was not only an actor, but a director and would go on to direct films including the well-received Like Water for Chocolate and the well-received for a movie starring Keanu Reeves A Walk in the Clouds. To me, however, he will always be a villain in the Chevy Chase/Steve Martin/Martin Short movie Three Amigos.

What "handsome" bad guy did he play?

Congrats to Invsible Lizard who knew that I was referring to El Guapo and even provided a quote from the film. Bragging rights are yours for a week.

MemeP3

Instead of actually writing anything today, let's play a game with music. Take out your MP3 player, iPod or fauxPod, play along and post the results on your blog.

Turn on your music player. Set it to shuffle and hit play. What is the 5th song that plays?

All Falls Down by Kanye West

4 songs that you have to sing along with when they come on...even if you don't know all the words.

Du Hast by Rammstein, Going Back to Cali by Notorius B.I.G. (or at least the chorus), Clint Eastwood by Gorillaz, Through the Wire by Kanye West

3 songs (that you haven't listed yet) that will make you start dancing in the car. (Don't act like you don't do it. We've all seen you.)

Mundian to Bach Ke by Pan'jabi MC, Love Me Babe by Murphy Lee, Crabbuckit by K-Os

2 songs that you could put on repeat and listen to over and over.

Po Folks by Nappy Roots, The Beginning of The End by Gentle Ben and His Sensitive Side (thanks to Laziest Girl for that one)

1 thing on your music player that would be at least a little embarrasing if someone else heard it.

Flash Gordon Soundtrack by Queen

See, now wasn't that fun? Now it's your turn.

One Smart Cookie

We went for Chinese food recently and at the end of the meal I opened my fortune cookie to find this. (Please excuse the glare in the photo.)

"You will receive a fortune. (cookie)" Look, I deal with enough people who think they are clever in my real life. I'm even one of those people. I certainly don't need baked goods thinking that they are witty too.

Of course, I ended up having the last word. I'm the one with thumbs and teeth. Poor cookie never stood a chance.

I'm So Ugly, But That's OK, Cause So Are You

"I feel a meme coming on." Those were the words of a fellow blogger a while back when we entered into a discussion of the ringtones we have on our respective cell phones. Since I've g0t nothing else today, I figured why not use the idea. So, with apologies to Ms. Q for taking her statement and running with it, let's talk about ringtones.

Most people (looking around, it feels like about 90% of the population, but it's probably less) have a mobile phone of some sort now. As the phones have become more popular, they have also become easier to customize. One of the ways to make your phone distinctive or at least know if it's your phone ringing is by changing the ringtone. You can be serious, ironic or just use things you love. So what's my ringtone?

Main ringtone: Lithium by Nirvana

Voicemail notification: Theme from The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

Work ringtone: Sick and Tired by Nappy Roots

How about your ringtones? Play along on your blog, comment here, ask all your friends about theirs or just be boring and do nothing.

Trivial Tuesday

One of the most amusing characters on The Simpsons is the stereotypical fat, slovenly geek known as Comic Book Guy. For years, he was known simply as Comic Book Guy as he lashed out a patrons of his store, The Android's Dungeon. Even when he fell in love with Principal Skinner's mother, we still did not learn his true name. We knew that he had no use for a medium size belt and that he carried around a Klingon dictionary ("is there a word in Klingon for lonliness?"). Finally, during a special episode in 2005, Comic Book Guy revealed his true name to Ned Flanders, of all people.

What is the Comic Book Guy's name?

Update: Comic Book Buy is named Jeff Albertson. Rainypete got the Jeff part, and that was about as close as anyone got.

Chile not Chili

We recently got a shipment of New Mexico green chile from Hatch Chile Express. For those of you not familiar with Hatch, NM it is the self-proclaimed Chile Capital of the world. Why such a big deal? If you haven't eaten New Mexico chiles, I really don't know if I can explain it. Before I continue, however, I do want to help clarify a couple different things. Chili: A meat and/or bean based spicy soup. Good, but not the same thing as chile. Chile: A fruit from plants of the Capsicum genus. Pepper: The stuff that you typically dry and put in a grinder. From the Piper nigrum plant. If it seems like I take this stuff seriously, I would say I do and remind you of two things: 1. New Mexico chile played a huge part in the food I grew up with, and 2. I went to a university that has an entire section of its agriculture department devoted to chiles. Besides, chiles are just absolutely delicious.

We got our box of chiles delivered via Fed Ex last week.

I was amused to see the warning label on the outside of the box that warned of "pungent chile."

I suppose they didn't want to have problems with people touching the box and then putting their fingers in their eyes. Opening the box, I was greeted with the sight and smell of fresh chiles.

To prepare them for use and get the most out of their flavor, the chiles needed to be roasted. I fired up the grill and gave them a quick rinse to clean them off. "How does one roast chiles?" you ask. (Ok, fine. None of you are asking or even caring, but you're going to find out anyway.) The chiles go on a hot grill (or under a hot broiler or directly on a gas flame) and are roasted until the skin blisters and blackens, just a few minutes per side.

Don't forget to poke them with a fork before applying the heat. There's a lot of water in there, and it's going to turn into a lot of steam. Exploding chiles, while amusing, aren't that useful. Once the skin has blistered, take the chiles off the heat and give them a nice shock treatment to stop the cooking.

I like using a cooler full of ice, but a big pot or bowl of ice water works as well, just not for as many at a time. Once cooled and out of the water, the chiles are ready to be frozen until you are ready to use them. To use them, just thaw them out, remove the blackened skin (if you take it off before freezing, they can get mushy), remove the stems and seeds and slice them in any way that your recipe requires. How to use them? Oh, man. However you want, but there are a couple of great quick applications, both of which we used tonight.

Application number 1: The green chile cheeseburger. (not pictured, because I ate it quickly) Take one roasted chile and remove the skin. Remove the stem and slice lengthwise so that the chile can be flattened and remove the seeds. Just before assembling a burger, place the flat chile on the hot grill to warm up. Assemble your burger with meat, cheese and green chile. Go ahead and add tomato if you want, it goes great. After all, it's actually just a big berry like the chile. Scoff at mayonnaise, mustard, ketchup and other unnecessary condiments. Eat.

Application number 2: Roasted tomato and green chile salsa.

Roast tomatoes on the grill (I had small tomatoes, so I used 6-7, but you could use 2-3 good sized ones). The skin on the tomatoes will blacken in spots and then slip right off once they are cooled. Chop or crush the tomatoes into a bowl. Skin, stem and seed 5 roasted chiles and dice. If you want to reduce the heat of the chiles, use your knife to remove the inner membrane before dicing; that's where most of the heat is. Chop and add 3 cloves of garlic, and a handful of cilantro. If everyone eating the salsa likes onion, dice some up and add it to taste. Add a little lime juice (about 1/4 of a lime, depending on size). Add salt to taste. Stir and leave chunky or puree to make smooth. Apply to chips. Wonder why you buy bottled stuff.

I know probably none of you reading this (if anyone is still reading this) care as much as I do about green chile, but believe me once you start, they rapidly become an addiction and the possibilities for use are endless. (Don't believe me? Check this out.)

Who Wants to Be A Superhero ep. 6, The Finale

The only superheroes remaining are Fat Momma and Feedback. The other 9 have turned in their costumes and moved on. It's time to find out who really is a superhero.

Wasting no expense, the show begins with horrifyingly bad effects showing Stan taking over everyone television and telling the world about his new superhero. Oddly, this seems to work better when one wears a Guy Fawkes mask. He is going to announce the winner to the whole world, but first he has to do a few more things to decide who that winner will be.

Right away, Stan informs the two remaining contestants that it is time to gain their superpowers. While I was hoping he would release a bunch of radioactive spiders into the Lair and hope for someone to get bitten, it turns out that he is sending them to stunt school. At the stunt school they learn to fight, tumble and fly in front of a green screen. Feedback performs many of the activities better than Fat Momma, who is not surprising as his character is not based on being out of shape. What is surprising is that as he says he needs to "stretch out a bit", Feedback drops down into the splits, indicating that if he doesn't win this contest he could always replace Jean Claude Van Damme in a sequel to Bloodsport.

Eventually, they get chances to leap from the swing, in front of the green screen and onto pads. Feedback does it repeatedly and seems to really enjoy himself. As Fat Momma gets onto the swing and prepares to fly, she thinks about the risks. The risk of injury, especially for a single mother who has young children depending on her, outweigh the benefit of flying in this way. She decides that she will not do this stunt, and everyone applauds her decision. With a risk-benefit analysis like that she proves that, even if she can't become the next superhero, she's a great fit for middle management.

Back at the Lair, the contestants each get a chance to talk to Stan one on one, and for the first time, he greets them by their true first names. First up is Feedback a.k.a. Matthew, who when asked who his hero is, once again sites Stan Lee and talks of growing up with Spider Man as a guide. Stan seems perplexed, but touched once again. To be fair to Feedback, he explains this well, so that it seems a little less creepy this time. Tears are shed, and it's Fat Momma's turn.
As Fat Momma, a.k.a. Nell, sits and converses with Stan, he asks her about her hero. She tells him about her father, who is older and is beginning to have problems with his memory. Tears are shed, and it's time for the decision. This time it's too big of a ceremony to have on the roof, so Stan has them go to Universal City Walk.

Stan shows up on a giant monitor above Universal City Walk and greets the citizens. He tells them of the competition and introduces the superheroes by showing a clip of each in action. While showcasing some of the worst green screen effects in history, the clips show that Feedback certainly appears better on screen than Fat Momma. Then again, when they give you something like "Chicken Man," a chick green screened to appear as big a building, you can't really expect people to take you seriously.

Stan finally makes the difficult choice and asks Fat Momma to turn in her costume. He congratulates Feedback, who celebrates and is surprised by the arrival of his wife. Then, all the other superheroes show up to celebrate with him, until finally Stan's monitor appears to malfunction and he disappears. In the final surprise, Stan comes out to greet everyone in person, and Feedback finally meets the Willy Wonka to his Charlie. More tears are shed, especially by those who will be involved in making a Feedback movie, and we conclude with "The End?"

It was not a perfect show. In fact, it was not really even good, if you tried to take it seriously. None of the people on the show were good potential superheroes, but perhaps with good writers and some judicious ignoring of the backstory the contestants gave themselves, they could be turned into better candidates. My favorite contestant throughout the show was Major Victory, who was (as Stan noted) more of a parody of a superhero. He knew that this should never be taken seriously and therefore never did take it too seriously. In the end, I don't think this could have ended any way other than it did. The contestant who most wanted to live as a superhero was the one who won the chance to do exactly that. Now, all we can do is wait for the SciFi Saturday night movie, and if those clips they showed are any indication, it's going to be good...in a bad way. Or is that bad in a good way? Either way, I'll be there, hoping that it's as fun as it can be.