Friday Film Festival Vol. 4

Short on time, so we have an abbreviated edition of F3 this week.

It seems that Chris Rock is of the opinion that straight men don't watch the Oscars.

I'm aware he's attempting to be funny, because that's what Chris Rock does. However, that does make wonder if I should be concerned that I took this quiz and got 11/12...and that was only because I forgot that Judi Dench won Best Supporting Actress.

As if it isn't bad enough that I have to deal with being a straight guy that would rather bake something than fix a car (You can't eat the car when you're done, I really don't see how this is even a competition?), now I have to have Chris Rock questioning me?

I feel like there's a "Not that there's anything wrong with that." joke in there somewhere.

Until later...

MIB: More Interesting Blogs

As a new feature, I will occasionally post links to other blogs that you may find interesting. In fact, chances are that any blog I feature in this section will be more interesting than The FOUI, itself. Thus the name of this feature, MIB: More Interesting Blogs.

First up, a site dedicated to t-shirts. I love amusing t-shirts. I may not ever buy them because I would never wear most of them in public, but I love them nonetheless. Preshrunk is a blog all about t-shirts, with links to all sorts of great shirts. Check it out, have a good laugh, maybe pick yourself up a nice new shirt. Of all the new posts, I'm personally partial to the Cobra Kai shirt. Of course, if I got that shirt I would be tempted to randomly tell people, "Sweep the leg!" (I hope at least one person out there reading this remembers the Karate Kid well enough to get that.)

Until later...

Doughnut Diatribe

I was on my way to work this morning when a commercial for Dunkin Donuts came on. They were advertising their new cappuccinos, lattes and other coffee drinks. The voice over man (VOM) then began describing the wonderful drinks and how they were made from fresh beans delivered personally to the store by Juan Valdez and his donkey, made with milk the employees of DD obtained from the cow earlier that morning, etc. Halfway through his description of the drinks, VOM states that they are made from "perfectly brewed expresso."

Huh? I'm sorry, what?

Expresso?

I should probably interject for a moment here and say that I am not a coffee snob. In fact, I don't like coffee at all. Anything with bitter flavor is overpowering to me and prevents any other flavors from being detected. Flavored coffees, various flavored cappuccinos, mocha...it all tastes the same to me. All I can taste is coffee, even when other people insist they can hardly taste it anymore. I personally like to think that my issues with bitter tastes are because my taste buds are attempting to give me extra protection against poisoning. Whatever the reason, the end result is that I can't handle anything that's very bitter at all: coffee, tea, dark greens that haven't been prepared absolutely perfectly. Anyway, back to the point.

So there I am, sitting in my car, driving to work, annoyed with VOM for saying "expresso" rather than "espresso." Then I start getting annoyed because the commercial is making me wonder if frustration over his use of a nonexistent word makes me petty?

That's when it hit me: I was surprised and annoyed, but this was coming from the company that misspelled both Dunking and Doughnuts in their name.

Until later...

The CSI Broadcasting Station

If you pay much attention to TV, you are probably aware that there are now three different CSI series on CBS, putting it a close second to Law & Order's 15 separate series including the newest edition Law & Order: Litterbug Unit.

MSNBC has an article today on the "CSI effect." It seems that due to the popularity of CSI, many more people are interested in studying forensics. Unfortunately, the popularity of the shows has also caused people to expect miracles from forensic labs.

I have to admit, I love to watch CSI: Miami. It's not a good show. In fact, it's actually quite bad, but every Monday night I watch so that I can mock David Caruso's overly dramatic, pause-laden dialog. Then again, he isn't the only thing worth mocking on the show. We also have the medical examiner who talks to the dead bodies and calls them all "baby" and the unbelievably bad storylines.

The problem with this is two-fold. First, it requires me to stay up until at least 11:00 if I want to make fun of the show, which doesn't always work so well with when I need to get up for work. Second, I have mocked the Horatio Cane (Caruso) melodramatic speech patterns so much that I occasionally find myself speaking that way without thinking about it. Maybe I need to cut back a little.

Until later...

What Is It About Wal-Mart?

For most of my life, there has always been a Wal-Mart nearby. It's a wonderfully convenient place where you can get almost anything from groceries to car batteries to CDs (edited versions only) to movies (ironically, these aren't edited versions) to an engagement ring if you so desire. If you are hoping to hear a wonderful discussion of the socioeconomic impact of Wal-Mart on a community, there are plenty of places on the web to find that. For a another blogger discussing treatment of workers at Wal-Mart, check out this post. All of this is far too serious for us here at The Fount. I'm much more interested in looking at Wal-Mart from a cultural and anthropological point of view.

For those of you not from the Midwest, specifically the Michigan/Illinois/Indiana area, the predominant discount store in Michigan is not Wal-Mart, but Meijer, a company headquartered in Grand Rapids, MI. When I first moved here, I was shocked to find that the closest Wal-Mart was actually in the next county. Since then, several Wal-Marts have been built in the area, including one relatively close to my home and work.

I ave visited this nearest store a few times since it opened recently, and each time I am left with the same questions. This is not the most cosmopolitan of areas, but even though I am aware of that the people I encounter at Wal-Mart amaze me. Whether it is the man having a screaming argument with his mother in the pharmacy or the people who look like they are waiting to be interviewed on the local news after a tornado tore through the trailer park (Yeah, go ahead act offended, but then try to tell me you didn't know exactly what I meant.), I am in awe by the time I leave...and don't get me started on the prevalence of the mullet. The first time we went to this store, the cashier greeted by asking in full-blown Southern drawl, "Did y'all find everything all right?" Prompting me to ask MK as we left whether they import cashiers from the Arkansas headquarters when a new store is opened.

These people have obviously been here. They didn't just appear or move here because there was a Wal-Mart opening. Why have I not run into them in such concentrations in the past? What is it about Wal-Mart that brings the dentally-challenged out in droves?

Alas, I think this may be one of the mysteries of life that can never be answered.

Until later...

Snow, Simpsons, Seafood

The weather stinks. It's snowing...AGAIN.

Thoughts on Sunday night TV.

The Simpsons (new episode):

Springfield legalizes gay marriage to help improve tourism. Homer performs ceremonies for any and all couples, gay straight or brother and sister (oh, come on, like anyone was surprised about Cletus and Brandeen). Sadly, the episode was right on about a couple of things about the issue: First, many people will always change opinions given the chance to earn a little extra money. Second, it's one thing to discuss an issue in abstract, but regardless of your viewpoint, it's entirely different when it involves someone you know.

However, I think I may be permanently scarred by the dream scene of Homer married to Homer complete with Homer on Homer action.

The Simpsons (rerun):

For a contest that is difficult to get into, it certainly does seem that almost everyone we know is involved. There were even entries involving and entire fish on a pizza and a roadkill armadillo. Bart start up a "Playdude" mansion in his treehouse. Homer eventually has to explain the facts of life to him. Is this ever not traumatic for any children? Somewhere between 75-99% of all kids would like to think that their parents have never done that and hearing it directly from them is just too much. James Caan getting killed at the toll both, a la Godfather, was an absolutely hilarious ending to the episode.

Iron Chef America:

Morimoto is the Iron Chef battling tonight. The secret ingredient is...Crab. And it's not dead yet. It's not fun to have to prepare food that's trying to fight back. The introduction of living secret ingredients does bring some of the fun of the original series back. The challenger just spoke directly to Alton Brown, the host. I miss having a panel of commentators trying to figure out what's going on rather than simply having the chefs tell us. The thing that amazes me about this show, regardless of version, is how much they get done in an hour. I can barely even get a sandwich made in an hour. If I only had an hour to prepare food for the judges, they'd end up with a can of soup and microwave popcorn.

Another difference between the original IC and ICA is that no one makes completely outrageous things. Just once, I would like to see Bobby Flay or Mario Batali making some cod soft roe ice cream, as Sakai once did. Of course, that ice cream didn't go over so well with the judges.

This episode was probably the best so far, but the lack of urgency makes the new version of the show occasionally border on dull.

Enough of my rambling for one night. I started posting a book review earlier this weekend, but IE crashed in the middle of it, and I haven't been able to remotivate myself for that yet. When I get the motivation, the book review should be coming soon.

Until later...

Random Links

Coming up short in your search for bling? Jose Canseco is selling a World Series ring. To be completely honest, I had forgotten he played for the Yankees in 2000.

Is it a requirement for parents of famous kids to be insane? Lindsay Lohan's dad is in the news again. It's a toss up between her father and the patriarch of the Simpson clan (Ashlee and Jessica, that is). In this battle, I'm going with Mr. Simpson, because few things are more disturbing than a man talking to the press about his daughter's breasts...repeatedly.

Former American Idol contestant Kimberley Locke is getting married. I say this not because I care at all, but because I wonder why this is worthy of a headline on MSN. The personal life of someone who once appeared on reality TV is newsworthy? Isn't the inexplicable fame of Paris Hilton enough?

Point? I may not really have one, but I happen to enjoy mocking what lunacy of the world around me. If the rest of the world is that insane, maybe I'm not quite so crazy.

Until later...