December 23, 2008

A Song Not Likely to Make the Christmas Compilation CD

Since we all know just how much I amuse myself (as evidenced here), here is another horrifying attempt at rewriting lyrics to music which was never intended to have anything to do with Christmas or any other holiday. (For anyone not familiar with the song Dragula by Rob Zombie, the video can be seen here.) As always, apologies to the original artist and anyone with taste.*

Red, I am the Claus, checking my list twice
I know who's naughty, and who has been nice

Red, I wear the suit, and the beard of white
I bring children toys, on one magic night


[Chorus]

Toys for the good ones
And coal by met-ric tons
I load in the back of my
Reindeer Sleigh

(Repeat Chorus)

Red, I drive the sleigh, Rudolph leads the way
Reindeer that can fly, only elves know why

Red, I have the sack, slung across my back
Chimneys I descend, you can't comprehend

(Chorus 2X)

Red, I bring the joy, but elves make the toys
Labor costs stay low, stockings overflow

Red, I always see, you can't hide from me 
Some think I'm a creep, watching while you sleep

(Chorus: repeat ad infinitum)


*I feel like someone has done this parody before, but I couldn't find it despite lots of googling. So, if I'm being unoriginal, it's definitely not intentional.

1 comment:

Red said...

Well, obviously I love it. But that probably goes without saying.