The Celery Stalks at Midnight

I promised recently that I would tell the my favorite elderly people at the supermarket story, and I shall. I also promised I'd do it on Friday, but you should all be used to me letting you down by this point. So, without further ado I give you a cautionary tale about missing your turn.

It all began simply, with a decision to run errands after work. The first errand was to return some DVDs we had rented to our local Hollywood Video. The second was to stop at Meijer, the dominant grocer in Michigan. After returning the DVDs, we decided that rather than try to turn left without a light onto one of the main roads at 5:00, we would take the back way to Meijer by passing through a neighborhood. We drove along, talking, until I realized that I had accidentally passed the road I wanted to take. We could either drive to the next connecting street, taking us several miles out of the way, or simply turn around. What a fateful choice this was.

Realizing my mistake, I turned into the next available driveway and prepared to back out and go back the way I had come. As I watched the traffic, looking for an opening, I noticed that in car was an elderly woman staring at us, as if awestruck. As she passed, she continued staring. She continued staring as she turned onto a side street and turned her car around. It seems that we had chosen her driveway as the convenient turn-around spot.

I found the break in traffic I had been waiting for, backed out into the street, and we were off again. We drove to the store and parked the car. It took us a couple of moments to locate the grocery list we had made, and by the time we exited the car another vehicle was pulling into a spot only two parking places away. (I'll respect your intelligence enough not to state the obvious and tell you who it was.) We were surprised but decided to dismiss the whole thing as a coincidence and continue with our shopping.

We wandered through the store, first browsing the produce section to see what was worth picking up. As I conducted my usual search for the perfect apple, we noticed that she was lingering not too far away. No big deal, right? The produce section is right by the front of the store and it's fairly large: still just coincidence.

We continued our shopping, and no matter where we went, she appeared not long after. She was on every aisle, yet never placed anything into her basket. We quickly finished up our shopping and left. (By finished up our shopping, I mean we decide that the whole thing was too creepy and that we'd go to the store tomorrow.) I don't know what she did once we left, but I feel quite sure that to this day if anyone were to rob or vandalize her home, she would give the police our license plate number and our descriptions and tell them about how we were "casing the joint" a while back.

Until later...

Senior Day?

On the way home this evening, we needed to stop by the grocery store to pick up chips and some limes to make guacamole (the avocados we had were ripe and rapidly moving past their peak). As we approached the entrance, we noticed a large number of elderly people walking out into the parking lot. Not thinking much of it we continued on into the store. There we were met with an entire store full of gray, white and blue-headed people. When I say that the customers in the store were old, I'm not using that in the completely incorrect, "everyone over 40 is old" sense. We're talking C. Montgomery Burns old here. At one point I decided that the MK and I were the only people in the store other than that kid with the bowl-cut that didn't remember the Lincoln assassination.

I'm not mentioning this to be unkind. I didn't have any problems with all of the elderly people...Well, there was the one woman almost ran me over with her little motorized cart. Twice. But other than that, it was just odd.

I'm still not sure what was going on. I thought that maybe today was a special Senior Quintuple Coupon Day, but I didn't see any ads. MK thinks that it was a singles event, like a Senior Citizen Meet & Greet. Judging by the way the greeter was flirting with some of the older women who walked in right behind us, she just might be right.

(Note: This has reminded me of my favorite story of elderly people and grocery stores, but that will have to wait for tomorrow.)

Until later...

Ugliest Dog Part 2

It turns out that Sam, the three time winner of ugliest dog, has his own website. In fact, he also has a blog. I suppose if any dog ever deserved a blog it's that one.

Until later...

The Second Dose of Trivia

The category: Movie Quotes.

In yesterday's post about the horrifying little rat-dog hybrid, I have embedded a quote from a movie. What is the quote and what is the movie. You must give both to get credit.

Update: Congratulations Invisible Lizard. At some point, I'm going to find a way to ask about a movie you haven't seen yet.

Until later...

The World's Ugliest Dog?

I love snopes.com. It's a great source for information on urban legends or lists of "facts" you get from forwarded emails. While browsing there, I came across a post about the winner of the World's Ugliest Dog competition. It seems that this dog has won for three consecutive years. Judging by the picture on the web page, no one has to bribe the judges to win that crown. Don't worry, I'll get to the picture in a minute.

A few reactions to the picture in my household:

"That's not alive!"

"I can't stop looking at it."

"I think it's a mummy."

"I didn't think it would be that hideous. I thought they were exaggerating, because nothing is that ugly."

"How could anyone love that?"

Are you ready?

Remember, there are some things that you see, and you can't unsee them.

When it haunts your dreams, don't say I didn't warn you.

Click here for the hideous beastie.

Trivial Tuesday

It is Tuesday, and that can only mean that I'm posting a trivia question rather than taking the time to actually write anything. Tonight's category is Star Wars minutiae (Herge, you'd best be paying attention).

The two-part Star Wars question: In the first Star Wars movie, which logically, of course, is Episode IV, Han Solo and Luke pretend to be Stormtroopers transferring Chewbacca from what cell block and what importance does that cell block have?

Follow the rules and win the right to brag.

Update: Congratulations to Herge who knew that Han and Luke were transferring Chewie from cell block 1138, a reference to THX-1138 the first film by George Lucas. With his new bragging rights, he should go from being an Angry Chimp to a Peaceful Primate.

Until later...

A Little Sympathy Please

Feel sorry for me.

I feel like I'm being mocked on both sides of the globe.


Until later...