Life on The Pharm: Aren't We Clever

It was training time today at work. I had a computer based training module that had to be completed by tomorrow, so I made some time in the afternoon to sit down and work on that exclusively. As with most training, it was boring and almost completely pointless. The training focused on how to use a new computer system to locate documents and procedures we might need. See, exciting stuff.

I finished the main part of the training and continued on to the quiz section that you must complete to get credit for the training. The quiz was actually an activity where you had to use the program to search for a few fictional procedures. For the first step, I was required to locate a procedure by number. The procedure number: 8675309. I kid you not. Somebody in our IT or Training department probably had a good laugh at that. It's not everyday you get a Tommy Tutone reference at work.

Until later...

Cross That Bridge When You Come To It

I find it completely hilarious that someone took the time to figure this out and post it on the web. I find it even more hilarious that other people responded by pointing out potential flaws and giving their own theories.

The answer to one of life's great questions: What is the average airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow? Just for good measure, he throws in the capitol of Assyria too.

See, there are people out there who are even bigger nerds than me.

Until later...

Trivial Tuesday

Since the first season of Lost was released on DVD today, I'll ask a Lost related question. This will probably be quite easy for people who watch the show, but can still be answered by those who have never watched. The creepy bad guy from season 1, Ethan Rom, was played by William Mapother, the cousin of creepy famous guy, Tom Cruise. There was something special about Ethan Rom's name. What was it?

As a hint for those who have not seen the show, think along the lines of Hester Mofet.

Update: Congrats to Gail, who knew than Ethan Rom was an anagram for "other man", which can be taken in with a capital "O" meaning that Ethan was one of "the Others" or with a lowercase "o", simply signifying that Ethan was the person in the group that was not on the plane that crashed, thus he was the other man. (For those who missed the other reference Hester Mofet is "The Rest of Me", one of the clever anagrams given to Clarice Starling by Dr. Lector.)

Bragging rights are yours Gail. Do with them what you will.

Until later...

Bipolar Movie Rentals: The Sequel

Building on the last edition of BMR, I returned to Hollywood Video for another couple of dissimilar movies. This time it was Hitch and Fulltime Killer.

Hitch:

This Will Smith-Eva Mendes rom-com focuses on the "Date Doctor" (Smith) who helps the helpless. These particular helpless happen to be guys that he helps get the woman of their dreams to go out on a first date with them and helps make sure that it's not the only date she goes on with them. Enter Albert (Kevin James of King of Queens "fame"). Albert is an accountant who wants to get the attention of one of his clients, socialite Allegra Cole (think Paris Hilton with a personality, but without the home videos). Despite the fact that Cole is far out of Albert's league, Hitch takes the case. Along the way, Hitch meets and falls in love with gossip columnist Sara Milas (Mendes). Of course when a date doctor trying to preserve his anonymity is dating a gossip columnist while also setting up an accountant with a socialite who is always in the gossip columns, hijinks are bound to ensue. They do.

More fun, and more amusing than it has any right to be, Hitch is a pleasant surprise. That is not to say that it's good, but it is enjoyable.

Fulltime Killer:

A Hong Kong action film in the vein of the John Woo/Chow Yun-Fat films of the late 1980's, Fulltime Killer tells the story of two competing assassins working out of Hong Kong. One, a O, is a Japanese assassin who is the most highly sought after killer (by both Interpol and those who wish to hire him), the other, Tok, is a Chinese up-and-comer looking to make his name by taking out his more famous counterpart. Caught between them is Chin, a housekeeper and video store clerk, and two police detectives on the trail of O. We follow the competition between the assassins and the attempts to catch them by the police up to the inevitable showdown.

The movie is exciting and well done, but ultimately fails when compared to some of Woo's Hong Kong action films (but that's a difficult comparison for anything). The story is narrated by four different characters in various parts of the movie, which may not cause confusion, but does cause distraction. If you are the type of person who enjoys a good action film, and especially if you like Hong Kong action films, I would recommend checking it out.

Until later...

What Day Is It?

I was at the grocery store last week, and one of the new seasonal displays caught my eye. Wait...before I continue: Yes, I am aware that almost every story I've told recently has centered on going to the grocery store or Wal-Mart. I'm sorry. It's not intentional, it's just that at the moment my life consists of get up, go to work, go home, go to bed. The only changes are on the days when I have to stop to pick up something from the grocery store or the rare occasions when I manage to watch a DVD. I'm becoming more boring, but it's not my fault. Really, it's not. May I continue? Thank you.

I was at the grocery store last week, and one of the new seasonal displays caught my eye. It wasn't that the display was particularly eye-catching in and of itself. It's more that it's really hard for me to miss a display of candy. I might walk right past flashing lights and ringing bells advertising something useful, but I always have to stop to see what sort of candy is available. There were bags and bags of candy on sale, but this was no ordinary candy. It was Halloween candy.

That's right Halloween. I looked at the candy, looked down at the date on my watch to confirm. August 31st. Two months before Halloween and the candy is already out in the stores. Why? Shouldn't there be some sort of law passed that says that you cannot have Halloween items out for more than a month and then that Thanksgiving things are available after Halloween, Christmas after Thanksgiving, etc.? If we can regulate that whether or not prunes (which are dried plums) can be labeled and sold as dried plums, we can regulate how early seasonal items are on display.

While it may seem that this rant was actually the point of this post, it's not. My real point is simply this: Who can buy candy on August 31st and still have it to give out to Trick or Treaters on October 31st? We've had to stop buying Halloween candy until the 30th of October. Otherwise, there's nothing left to hand to the kids. I have a feeling that the only people who can buy their candy this early are the ones that give out the candy no one likes anyway...no willpower required.

On a slightly different, yet Halloween candy related note: we might actually have more than 5 Trick or Treating kids this year because...we're moving. More on that another time.

Until later...

Searching for The Samurai

I mentioned a while back (in the comments of my review of Kung Fu Hustle) that finding less famous and/or foreign films to rent in Kalamazoo can be difficult, as evidenced by quest to rent Seven Samurai. This is one of the most famous films of all time. It has inspired a host of movies from The Magnificent Seven to A Bug's Life. It comes in at number 5 on the IMDB's list of top 250 movies of all time. If I can expect to find any foreign film at my local video store it would be this one. No problem right? If it were that simple, there wouldn't be a story for me to tell.

A couple of years ago, I decided that, since I had never seen it, I should rent Seven Samurai. Easy enough in concept. I go to the video store. Find the movie, rent it, take it home and watch it. I started looking around the store trying to determine which section would be most likely to house my quarry. Action? It makes sense. I look and no such luck. How about drama? Sure why not. Not there either. Classics? Could be, but it's not. Maybe Western? It's a bit of a stretch (even though it's a very similar style and several of Kurosawa's movies inspired Westerns), but it's a better guess than either musical or comedy and that's all that's left. After an exhaustive search of the premises, I decide to go against my better judgement and ask for help. They've got a computer up there. They can look things up.

I walk up to the counter as the employee looks confused because I am not laden with rentals and purchases. "Hi. I was wondering if you could help me. I'm looking for a movie, and I didn't know if you carried it and I was just overlooking it or what."

The employee perks up. Surely, he'll be able to point me directly to the entire section of Resident Evil, available on DVD, VHS, Laser Disc and BetaMax. "Ok, great what can I help you find?"

"I'm looking for Seven Samurai." The smile on his face is replaced by bewilderment. This only gets worse as I continue. "It's a Japanese movie."

"Huh? What?" Confusion has rendered him more articulate than ever.

"Seven Samurai. It's a film directed by Akira Kurosawa?"

"Who?" It was at this point that I realized I was fighting a losing battle.

"Akira Kurosawa. He was a Japanese director. You know what, do you have a section where I might be likely to find it?"

"Umm...well we have section of foreign movies in the back in the room through those doors." I look back toward the room that only adults can enter. "Is that the type your looking for?"

"No," I said and with a heavy sigh, walked off to go home and start a Netflix account.

Until later...

His Career Certainly Has Gone Downhill

One day last week, we stopped by Wal-Mart after work to pick up a couple of things. We wandered around, doing our shopping as usual, paying little attention to the people on the PA system. Eventually, however, one announcement caught our attention: "Wal-Mart associate Michael Bolton, please call 1-2-3. Michael Bolton call 1-2-3."

Oh, how the mighty have fallen.


Until later...