We often think of Disney movies as being made for children, but when you start boiling down the plots to the absolute basics, you can't help wondering just how appropriate they really are.
The Little Mermaid: A spoiled, selfish princess has everything she could possibly want, except the physically impossible. Her desires cause damage to an entire society and force her father to sell everything he has, including himself. All is made right when the person who bought it all is murdered.
Beauty and the Beast: Family repeatedly trespasses, commits bestiality.
Dumbo: Misfit takes revenge on those who mocked his deformity.
Aladdin: Thief and con man forces slave to do his bidding so that he can charm his way into the palace and into the heart of the princess. After he gets everything he wants, he "frees" the slave and thinks that they are friends.
The Lion King: A spoiled prince runs away from his problems, and expects everyone to welcome him with open arms even though he deserted them for years.
Peter Pan: Children sneak out of the house, torment a disabled man.
The Hunchback of Notre Dame: Man with physical deformity learns that he is a person just like everyone else...as long as he doesn't expect to get the girl at the end of the movie.
Bambi: Boy has dead mother and absentee father, grows up to murder a rival for a girl's affections.
101 Dalmatians: Animal hoarders steal puppies from other animal hoarder.
Marry Poppins: New nanny, who is suspiciously well-known in the chimney sweep community, teaches children to resent their father for working to provide for them, eventually causing them to spark a riot when they don't get their way.
February 04, 2010
Wheel of Morality, turn, turn, turn. Tell us the lesson we should learn.
February 02, 2010
You Guys Got Any Milk?
With the Lost season premiere tonight, I'm thinking it would be a great idea for someone to have a Lost-themed dinner (for someone else, not me--I'm too lazy). The problem is figuring out the menu. The first course should almost certainly be a fruit salad including guava, passion fruit and plantains. After that, I can see a few different options for the main course. For example:
The John Locke Orange marinated wild boar roasted over an open flame.
The Benjamin Linus Honey-glazed ham served with Dharma macaroni and cheese and unhealthy obsession.
Edgar Halliwax's Special #15 Two identical portions of rabbit with a vanilla-infused sauce ('cause it's an orchid).
The Jack Shephard Vodka and orange juice with vicodin and tears on the side.
Of course, any of these dinners should be served with fish biscuits and an Apollo bar for dessert.
January 19, 2010
December 24, 2009
Avatar
Wow. That really sums it up. Wow.
July 04, 2009
Public Enemies
We went to see Public Enemies the other night. I'm not going to review it too much other than to say that I definitely did like it.
June 12, 2009
Guess what? I have a blog. I know, I thought I'd forgotten about it, too.
In this post I shall attempt to slake your thirst for my opinions on the most mundane of matters through three brief advertising/shopping related discussions. Or maybe I just didn't have anything else to talk about so you're getting a bunch of junk that poured out of my head. It's a glass half-full/half-empty thing.
I've never been a big fan of changing the name of products, but when a company changes the name of similar products, making it hard to tell the difference between them, it is very frustrating. For years, if I wanted to buy a container of the lower fat Pringles1, I knew that they were labelled as "Right Crisps." Was it a stupid name? Sure, but I knew what they were, and the name was always the same. Now there are Pringles labelled as "Light" and Pringles labelled as "Smart Flavors". One of these is the reduced fat version and the other is the "fat-free" olestra-containing version. If they aren't going to stick with one name, they should at least make it clear on the packaging whether or not you are buying the version that causes anal leakage.
The Wendy's commercials about "Threeconomics" bother me. The entire set of commercials bothers me because threeconomics is a stupid-sounding non-word. However, one commercial in particular really irritates me. It goes something like this:
[scrippet]
INT. BREAK ROOM - DAY
Three GUYS are sitting around the table eating SANDWICHES from Wendy's.
GUY 1
I'm going to use this Jr. bacon cheeseburger, crispy chicken and double stack to explain to you the basic principles of Threeconomics.
Guy 1 reaches across the table and takes the sandwiches from Guy 2 and Guy 3.
GUY 1
Supply.
Guy 2 reaches to take his sandwich.
GUY 2
Can I have my doubl-
GUY 1
(Pushing Guy 2's hand away)
Demand.
[/scrippet]
Clearly this commercial works only because the guy getting his burger stolen isn't a fat guy2. If that were the case, the commercial would go more like this:
[scrippet]
INT. BREAK ROOM - DAY
Three GUYS are sitting around the table eating SANDWICHES from Wendy's.
GUY 1
I'm going to use this Jr. bacon cheeseburger, crispy chicken and double stack to explain to you the basic principles of 3conomics.
Guy 1 reaches across the table and takes the sandwiches from Guy 2 and Guy 3.
GUY 1
Supply.
GUY 2
What are you doing?
GUY 1
Demonstrating demand.
Guy 2 reaches over the table, punches Guy 1 and takes the sandwiches.
GUY 2
Hostile takeover.
[/scrippet]
My favorite thing about commercials now is that just about every one has the phrase "these days" or "in the current economy" while talking about how much you will save if you use their product. Do they enjoy trying to scare and/or depress people or do they really think people don't know that anything is going on3? I guess that's a possibility. It's not like it's been mentioned on the news, every TV show, ads, and articles as well as every other conversation that people have had with friends or coworkers.
1 Shut it.
2 I'm allowed to say that because I'm talking about my people. Unless you're one of us, you can't.
3 I know. They don't really enjoy it; they're just trying to use everyone's problems and fears to sell their product and who are we to criticize them for it.